I was thinking about how much I worry about myself vs how much I worry about others. So! Take my poll, add any other options I may have missed and maybe you could say if this stance you have on how much you worry about yourself/others has helped or hurt your weight loss efforts.

Just curious!

I wish I was more of a me person. I want everyone else to be happy and I really neglect myself. I know I would be a happier person if I focused on myself more and found out what I want and need. I know that I have a lot of internal issues that I haven't really dealt with because I have chosen to focus on other people, esp. since getting married and having kids.

I need to be more of a me-centered person. I chose the last option on the poll - I'd go without until I'm sure that everyone else is happy.

This tends to lead to me being really stressed out at work and working myself sick until someone notices and yells at me...

I recently got kind of upset at a friend of mine and it made me question my relationship with her. I feel like when we talk it's 80% about her/20% about me. I thought, how could I be friends with someone so selfish?

Then today it occurred to me... I make this relationship that way. I don't "bother" others with my issues and I seek out others' issues to help them.. even when they don't ask for help. I love problem solving and I am very intuitive and can usually read more about a person's situation than they can themselves... HOWEVER, I am so neglectful to my own problems. If I put as much energy into my own issues (ie weightloss) as I do others' then I would be soooooo much further in reaching my goals and overcoming obstacles.

Why can't I concentrate on myself? As soon as I start helping myself, my boyfriend feels sick, my friend loses her job, my mom is calling and I drop everything until they all feel better... and I'm no further in helping myself.

I hate to think of myself as a selfish person, but I guess I kinda am especially when nothing else occupies my mind. I love to make everything about me when my friends do not talk about themselves, for instance. I can be really selfless somtimes, but overall I tend to take care of myself before taking care of others.

I don't think taking care of yourself before others is very selfish. It's pretty smart actually. I don't know about you, but I've learned that most people are "me-centered" people, and I think it's important to do for yourself most of the time, because that's what a lot of other people are doing. I used to be the kind of person who worried about everybody else's problems more than my own, but never seemed to have anybody who did the same for me. So eventually I stopped caring as much about pleasing everybody, or worrying about their problems. I still care a lot about my closer friends though. So I put I have a healthy balance.

Hm, let's look at that word "worry."

When I was younger, as in, a kid living at home, my parents fought a lot, and I spent a lot of time in the middle of things, trying to "fix" it. Of course, I couldn't do that, and I didn't get much reward from it--mostly it was a source of further upset and frustration. Over time I saw that.

I answered as being me-centered, because now most of the time I am looking after myself. That doesn't mean I'm not concerned about others or that I don't try to help anyone. If my SO is sick, I help--but I don't drop everything.

"Being helpful" or "worrying" a lot about others seems to me to be sort of a consolation prize--it's like saying, I'm not important, but at least I'm useful to these other people.

And of course, it's a great diversion from one's own problems.

Interesting food for thought... And low calorie!

Jay

Jay, this could very well be one of your very best "hit the nail on the head" moments.

Being a mother, as well as a mother to an autistic son, I must worry about my children. I have an obligation to care for them and keep them safe. When I decided to become a mother I gave up the right to care only for myself. I am learning that I have the right to also care for myself but I can't be self centered for the sake of my kids.

I really should become more of a "me" person....but that just has not been my strength over the years. I am a worrier by nature, so I am always worried about everyone else. I teach high school special education, so my kids are my biggest worry from September to June. I worry about them all the time, even when the school bell rings.

I have always been considered the "mom" of the group, no matter which group of friends I am with. I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing because I care a lot about the people I surround myself with. I know that focusing more on me as time goes on is needed and it really is something that I want to work towards in the new year.

Only at the beginning of last year have I started focusing on myself first...sure I have a husband, I'm a mom to 3 kids (my 7 year old has Asperberger's), I run a business, etc but I'm not only those things. I help others but I'm not going to sacrifice my well being to do it. I did that for a long time and while others were happy and taken care of I was miserable

Now I'm happy and everyone else is too!

I've started being more of a me person lately. I've realized that I haven't ever really loved myself and have been working on making that an important part of my life. I've never thought I was pretty before, so I'm working on telling myself regularly that I am and that I am worth everything I am doing to make myself healthy and happy.

I'm in the middle.

My boyfriend and his whole family always tell me i focus too much on other people than myself. I would rather use me time, energy and money on others than myself. Sadly i almost always put myself last on the priority list. But i am working on that