I just came back from a 4 day vacation yesterday evening and I feel totally disgusting and hopeless today *sigh*
We went to way upstate NY to this wonderful farm for rescued factory farm animals (SO SWEET and SO friendly and amazing!!). Anyway, I had assued beforehand that since we'd be surrounded by vegetable farms and fresh food, we'd have lots of great eating options and that I could find fresh and well-made foods... I was wrong. It was basically one gross, greasy meal after the next (except for our daily morning vegan breakfast). I also thought we'd be doing more exercising and moving around than we actually did -- we drove EVERYWHERE bc you can't walk -- it's isolated and everything is miles and miles away. With the exception of one day spent at a beautiful state park, I basically sat on my @ss all day for 4 days.
We're back now, and I am bloated and I feel SO SO SO disgusting. I know what I have to do is get right back on plan -- my eating today has been good so far -- and I need to start working out again, do some strength training and then some cardio, but I just feel SOOOOO discouraged and hopeless and absolutely disgusting in every way.
On top of everything else, I spent the last 4 days feeling like a total fat, ugly beast. My self-esteem was totally shot all vacation for some reason and I still feel like a disgusting beast right now. I spent entire days of the vacation complaining to my fiance ab how fat I am and how hopeless I feel -- I almost had a hissy fit, in public, after looking at a picture he took of me. I just feel totally hopeless right now -- I don't even know what the point is of trying anymore or of getting married or anything else in life -- I feel like a disgusting freak doomed to a life sentence of obesity and unhappiness with how I look.
I'm sorry to rant and be depressive but I need to vent. AND I need people to kick me in my @ss and tell me to stop it and put aside these feelings and just work out and plow through and get back on plan.