If I were younger I'd say thin and beautiful but now I'm glad to be smarter, I wish I were more so

My sense of identity has always been connected positively to my brains and mostly negatively/indifferently to my looks. From early childhood, people always thought of me as the smart one, and I've come to internalize this view. My looks were never that bad, but rather unexceptional, I guess. As a teenager, my body image was horrible, and I didn't really put any efforts into the thin/beautiful image (oh, how I would have loved to BE thin/beautiful - back then I would have gladly given half of my IQ for that - but I just didn't think there was any chance).

Instead, I tried to impress with my dashing wit and got pretty good at giving sensible advice and listening to/analyzing everyone's problems. This makes for good friends, but the romantic attention of teenage boys - not so much. Most of my teenage years were spent pining after some male buddy or other who invariably would hook up with the cute, dull girl. Oh well. At least they came to me with their relationship woes. Nice.

Today, it's still my cognitive abilities that are best developed, but I find I've made big improvements in the emotional area and with my body image. Very slowly (and with the help of an endlessly patient husband) I've come to see myself as pretty, or sometimes even beautiful.

As for the not stopping traffic - in some ways I'm glad about that now, having seen one very stunning friend of mine being constantly hit on by sleazebags and predators who seem to think that a woman's beauty makes her an object or some kind of prey. It's a good thing she *also* is very smart and assertive and has no problem shooting these guys down, but if she were dumb and naive, she'd be in big trouble...

why do we have to be thin to be beautiful?

i'm fat, i'm beautiful and i'm smart.

i'm also old and that's why i could care less if i'm anything but healthy.

Hmm I am a beautiful fat girl and very intelligent according to many people that praised me of being one. Do I want to be healthy thin? Yes. Do I want to turn heads as I walk by? Definitely. Do I want to wear a mini-skirt one day? You bet!

But the million dollar question is, will I trade being intelligent to thin beautiful? NO WAY!!!

If I wasn't as smart as I am, I would never had the chance to spent a year doing my MA degree and meeting all my great friends from the programme. Thus I would lose the priviledge of meeting all this wonderful people. So no, I love being smart and I would not trade it to be beautiful/thin only.

At least I know that when I reach my goal, I will be both thin and clever. ^.^

I would say I want to be smart more than thin/pretty.

If you are smart, you can get a good job. Get lotsa money, and get a nice plastic surgeon! hahahahahaha!

Amen to that one

I fully intend to be both Yes, even when I'm 70 or 80. I know it can be done. I recently went to 50th wedding anniversary party where one of the attendees was someone I hadn't met before. She turned heads from the moment she walked in the door and caused more than a few "wows" when she was on the dance floor. She carried on lively, witty conversations and her laughter was contagious. She looked strong and lithe and her long hair was upswept in a stylish coif. She was in her 80s. The long hair was a stunning shade of gray - no dye job for this lady. And couldn't see a single sign of any "artificial enhancements". Her face had a few wrinkles and laugh lines but they rather suited her. Would she look good in a bikini? Probably not but she sure looked amazing in her clothes. That's what I'm shooting for.

Unfortunately, this is not always true. I'm one of the smart ones (degree in engineering),but have never been taken seriously. When I was working in the engineering field, I was passed over for good jobs, even though I had the brains and ability. I just didn't have the 'looks' the company wanted projected. Even in college, professors would single me out to ask in class in front of everyone else whether I could understand what they were teaching. It's not like I was sitting there with a sign saying, "I'm stupid". I was just the fat, shy girl in the back. I've seen the pretty, thin girls get whatever they want while I've had to fight for everything - I'd choose thin and pretty.

I don't know if I'd agree that thin, beautiful girls get everything they want without fighting for it. I know quite a few girls who truly are gorgeous, gorgeous but also extremely intelligent. They get hit on by jerks and talked down to by guys who *think* they're smarter than they are; they have to fight to be accepted as equals on an intellectual level. As for me, I'd rather be intelligent. Intelligence is something that's going to stick with me, I can't keep my body looking like it does right now forever, I know that.

I don't really want to get in to it, but I just wanted to add that I'm very, very glad to read Griffogrub's response to this. It's nice to see the 'other side' justly defended. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I really don't know which one I'd give up

No question - I would rather be smart.

I have an IQ of 145. I have also weighed 145 and looked beautiful. (for a very short time...) My IQ is still 145. My weight is not.

Now if the choice was to be thin and beautiful for a lifetime, with no struggles, no diets, no face, body or breast lifts, I might choose that. Being the smartest person I know can be a drag sometimes...LOL

I'll take "Thin and Beautiful" anyday. Studies have been done that show people perceive those that are beautiful differently, and they could be dumb as a box of rocks! And I also feel that sometimes people are given different opportunities in life because they are attractive.

I can think of one celebrity in particular that fits that description and people LOVE her.

But then again, I've always been "the smart one" in the group, and not "the beautiful one", you know - the one that you need to "get to know because she's smart and has a great personality", so maybe my view is biased.