[Sweetcaroline]

This was difficult for me to write here... but here goes... Lately, with professional guidance, I have been working on issues that are probably contributing to my overeating and rather serious cycles of binge/guilt/depression... Throughout this 'therapy' it was becoming clear that childhood bullying was STILL haunting me...... I'm almost 50, so admitting this was painful, but true... My counselor thought it would be helpful to journal about this... with emphysis on the actual names I was called and the names of the people who taunted, did I remember them, oh.. YOU betcha....

The next step the counselor asked me to take when I was done writing, was to forgive them... Yikes.. My first reaction to that idea was, "Do I really have to ? it was so long ago"... It was 'just' childhood banter. The insults and names crushed me on a daily basis, but must we blame everything on childhood ? Could this really be a blockage on my path to wellness ? Is it going to matter now, I'm 50 ? My couselor's only response was "well one way to find out is to try it".. And I did...

I actually put a lot of thought into how I was going to forgive them... it wasn't going to be in person, it would be in my heart, from my heart, with intent and with symbolic gesture.... So, by myself on a sunny day last week, I bought a couple of helium balloons, on them I wrote the hurtful names and the names of the children who had taunted me. I took them to the riverside, found a little private spot and with prayer, forgiveness and intent ... I let go of the balloons... I cried a bit, then laughed... Amazingly, when I got home and settled in on my couch I was overcome with relief... that pit deep deep down (that I didn't know I had) was gone........It was amazing...

[CountingDown]

OH, MY - yes - forgiveness is such a strange thing. We THINK we are doing it to help the other person(s) when in reality, it removes a huge millstone from our necks. Congratulations! I know that it must have been a difficult thing to do

[Lovely]

Forgiveness is an incredible action. It's deep... and it's cleansing... and it's such a relief to often just... let it go. Letting it go symbolically with those balloons was beautiful.

Thank you for sharing

[EZMONEY]

You have discovered a very important quality our Lord has given us. I am sorry for your past pain...happy for your new life! Embrace it!

[Kofarq]

I NEVER, EVER thought about forgiving them. Wow. That brings up a lot to think about, doesn't it? Makes me think about the fact that they were just stupid kids, maybe had a bad home life...
I have some thinking to do.

[shelby897]

Wow!! What a wonderful experience. You never know unless you look deep down inside yourself what truly matters. You may have assumed it was childish teasing, but deep down, it still mattered -- I'm so glad you were able to "release" not only figuratively but internally. No one can have that type of control over us unless we allow it.

I'm here for the same reasons -- unfortunately it was my mom and oldest sister who did the most damage to me as a child with the name calling and put downs. The odd thing is the beginning of March I found one of those little coins that the religious stores sell -- on my dresser -- it says "forgiveness" on one side and a little prayer on the other. Now, I know this wasn't at any point mine and there is no one who would have put it there -- so I'm thinking it was a clear sign that no matter what the problems were that got me to the binge/purging self-hate cycle of the last 37 years, this needed to be over. It felt like someone had taken an incredible load off my shoulders and rested it on their own to make me whole!!

Good luck and you can do this

[trooworld]

Wow...what a cool thing to do. I was teased too as a kid, and it really scarred me. I think I am going to try what you did, maybe it will help me move on. Thanks for sharing.

[Apple Cheeks]

That is really awesome, and I love the idea you had about the balloons. It's a great gesture to literally watch those nuggets of hurt float away. I may steal your idea!

[PrettyPaula]

what a wonderful story, im so glad you have let go of your demons... onwards and upwards!

[Sweetcaroline]

Thanks everyone for your well wishes... I felt another sigh of relief when I posted that story here... weird huh ? I'm definitely exploring other roadblocks in my life where forgiving someone may lead to another breakthrough... I was definitely lifted 'spiritually' and I haven't felt that way in a long time.... I highly recommend it.......