I am struggling. I have stayed around 266 for a while. I want to get back on track and lose weight but I guess I am feeling sorry for myself lately. I have the break up to blame...the winter to blame....working too hard to blame...you ladies know how it goes. I spend a lot of time blaming when I could be doing something. I have gained 27 pounds in 5 years here overseas and I am not sure what to do about it.

I have the best diet book library in the world with books on everything to do with eating and being healthy yet I can't seem to get anywhere. I can't seem to get a grip on it all.

I know what I can do but I just don't....maybe it is laziness or love of food or something else....I wish I could just wake up one day and get the spark. I promised myself if I did one more year here I would move to Europe next year with a different attitude and a new out look.

I have a gym membership and should just get back in there.....

Say a prayer...mantra or what ever works for you ....ask that I get the spark and guidance from within to get on track.....

you will start again when you are ready and not a moment before.
however part of being ready is getting back your motivation. get a plan and stick to it as long as you can, then when you feel like your slipping, drop a line to us. we will help keep your spirits up! then before you know it, you will be losing weight and feeling great!

Hey! I know what it's like to struggle from time to time. You're not alone in that--lots of 3FC folks go through hard times.

Could it be that you're unhappy where you are? That sentence made me wonder if maybe you're trying to live in the future too much. Doing so might make a lot of things harder... we can't lose weight in the future, only in the present...

So don't wait any more. Next year--well--who knows what will happen between now and then.

Get started!

Jay

Hi Dolly. Good to see you posting again.

One saying I've heard around here many times - "Fake it til you make it." I think it may be appropos for you. Although I really believe longterm weight loss can't occur until you are fully commited and are ready to do the work involved, I do believe there is something, something valuable to that phrase. So although you might not be quite "fully" there, a fake it til you make it attitude just may be a place to BEGIN and then hopefully you will be more commited and determined and enthused as you go along. So yes, DO begin. Get with it! Time's a wastin'. Make the very most of each day. You won't be sorry.

Hey Darlene -

If I had the secret to getting people going & keeping them motivated I'd be a rich, rich woman.

JayEll pointed out the same sentence that stuck with me. On that note, one of the best things I've ever read came to mind: "The time will pass whether you lose weight or not."

So many people struggle with this very thing. Motivation. Determination. Commitment.

So, I'm going to echo those much wiser than I when I ask: What one thing can you do today that will get you closer to your goal?

Drink water? Get in your full servings of fruits & veg? Take a 10 minute walk?

Losing weight is all about today. Never tomorrow, never yesterday. Today is the only thing we have.



You CAN do this.

Hi Dolly. I understand how you feel and want to share with you all the good energies I can give, this site is great for support, whenever you feel you can't do it and don't know why or need some words from women who've been there, post a line. In the meantime, for me what has worked is focusing on the good things i do instead of my long term goal, and taking it a day a time, sometimes an hour, sometimes a minute at a time.
good luck!!!!

Hi Darlene! Its so good to "see" you around here again!

You've been through some rough times with your breakup and working hard. But, it looks like you're ready to put the grieving behind you and get back on-plan. Have you come up with a plan to get you started? Can you committ to packing a gym bag and taking it to work with you? I know that its easier to go straight from work to the gym and not have the temptation of sitting on the couch. Are you having a healthy breakfast and packing a lunch? Do ou have lots of healthy foods in your refrigerator to help keep you on your plan? Planning ahead is one of the best ways of getting back on-plan and staying on-plan. Once you get started and the small victories start coming your way, your confidence will build. So, just get yourself started so you can enjoy those victories!

So much wisdom has already been given!!

The one thing I noticed is your comment about how much you've gained in the past five years -- I worry that, like me, if you don't get started, you will continue to gain. Wouldn't it be nice if in a year when you are ready to move, you are also at or near your goal? What a way to make a clean start!!

I wish you luck, I send you "skinny vibes" and I understand and sympathize with your struggle, been there, done/doing that --

Darlene,
I totally understand. It's hard not to feel that it is so overwhelming that weight loss is an impossible task.
You might just need to focus on the small things for a while. A little success feeds more success. So maybe concentrate on just one thing, like exercise (for example). Make it a point to do a little bit every day. Reward yourself with a gold star or some little acknowledgment. Don't worry about food. Once you start getting into the swing of exercise - then look at some other small change to make.
And come to this board any time of day or night to post successes and struggles - we are all here for support and motivation, and sometimes just a shoulder to cry on.

Fake it til you make it... so true! That's how I got where I am with the weight loss. Many times I just don't "feel" like eating healthy or thinking about what I am eating, but I just pretend I am motivated. Eventually, I do feel motivated. But even when it slips, I go back to pretending.

Try doing it for one day, then the next. Just build one good day upon another until you see results, and those results will build the momentum you need to keep going.

Darlene - you sound like me until about a month ago. That's when I finally found out that I had moderate depression. I started an herbal supplement (I didn't want pharmacy meds) and it has made a difference. The tired/lazy/futilistic attitude could be a sign of depression, so you might want to get it checked out. I ignored it because I thought depressed people always cried (which I never did), but someone clued me into the fact that that is only ONE component of it.

Taking short walks and eating fruits and veggies also helps depression. I like the statement "What can I do NOW to help me?" Don't worry about the long-term, just now.

Thanks...I have some good things going when I take a look at things...... I eat a healthy breakfast, (oatmeal with berries and a little honey) .....pack a good lunch (usually organic black bean soup, triscuits, yogurt and a piece of fruit)....drink 2-3 three bottles of water at work.....

I think it is lack of exercise.....I like the quote "fake it til you make it"...I will try to get some exercise in this week....(walking) and go from there....I would love to get on the plane home this summer and at least be 240....

It sounds like you're exactly on the right track, and the advice I wanted to offer is the path that it sounds like you're already committed to taking. I was going to say that instead of trying to fix everything all at once, it's sometimes easier to make small adjustments and build on them. That's exactly what you're doing!

So - just wanted to send you some hugs and wishes for a great adventure in exercising. I know for me, it helps with the blahs, the depression, the stress, etc. I know you'll do it! (And you know - I don't think there's enough respect for people who maintain at an above-optimal weight. If you're roughly the same weight as we you were six months ago, that's an accomplishment too! One that it seems required some effort. Feel good about that, and recognize it for what it is - proof that you have what it takes to control your weight.)

There was an online article today that said exercise is more effective in treating depression than antidepressant medications. I am not suprised by this at all. Exercise makes me feel empowered. There are so many things we have no control over. What I choose to eat and my intentional, consistent exercise, I have complete control over. Empowerment has anti-depressive effects for me!

Hey Darlene!!!! Welcome back. I hate the struggle of losing weight. I wish there was some magic something or other that could just whisk away all the hard parts of losing weight and leave us with the tools we need to keep the weight off.

When I royally fell off the wagon I struggled and struggled to gain control and finally gave up. I was tired of me self-sabotaging myself each time I tried and decided I was better off not worrying about losing weight. And that's what I did. In November I signed up for a weight loss challenge and managed to lose 12 pounds (I had lost more but gained a couple of the holidays). I lost some of my motivation in the last part of that challenge. I again signed up for the challenge that began Jan. 7. This time I focused more on planning out meals and exercising. I didn't really set a ## to lose or anything and I've done very well. I don't tell myself I can't eat anything. I watch my portions and try to eat healthier while getting in lots of exercise (between 30 minutes to 2 hours a day). I'm sharing all this with you because I have found something that works for me. I have found myself slipping out of control a couple of times so far and as soon as I feel the least little loss of control I start evaluating and looking at my plan and see if I'm working it as best I should. If I am, then it's time to add something else to it but each time I've let something slip—not writing out my exercise plan for the day, not writing out all my meal plans etc. The moment I go back to planning my work and working my plan I've been back in control.

I have faith in you Darlene. You will be able to do this.