Hello Ladies
Can I join your club?! I was reading this thread last night and was so relieved that I'm not the only one experiencing this!
I'm 34 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I started getting teased and badly picked on at school around the 3rd or 4th grade so by the time High School came around I had no self esteem or self worth at all. So I missed out as well on the "practice" time of High School and college as well. At my highest I was 260lbs at 5'10" tall, I am now 170lbs, 90lbs lighter!
By nature, I am a shy girl, so just chatting up some guy at the gym or wherever freaks me out.
However, I have gained a lot of confidence and am much more open but I can do with a remedial dating class!LOL!
I did the online dating thing and while I didn't meet anyone(it turned out I wasn't ready a year ago) I did figure out what is a deal breaker(smoking and an unhealthy lifestyle. Call it what you want, but if I can change to a healthy active lifestyle then I want that in a potential mate. I don't want a bodybuilder or anything just not a sedantary, fast food eating all the time guy where one hike will kill him) This September though, I am returning to college after a 13 year hiatus. So this'll be a good test of the "new me". I aim to go in there confident and proud of what I have accomplished and see how people react not knowing I was once obese. I'll be attending Temple University in Philadelphia. They like a diversified student body so you never know, I may meet someone there.
My dream goal is another 20lbs my realistic goal is another 10lbs. From being so obese I do fear I have the extra skin "apron" thing going on slightly. That is now my big fear with dating. That I'll meet, connect with a guy then when it becomes intimate, he'll see the toll that weight loss has taken despite my weight training, run away screaming and never want to see me again. About 60% of me says if that is the case, A) you don't need him B) he never loved you for you C) a man that does love you for you will think you're beautiful the way you are. I've broken through so much, I can do this.
I am also working on seeing in the mirror what everyone else sees and being happy with what I have accomplished. I'll never have the body of a fitness model or gym rat, but I do want to see myself as "normal". I still see myself as fat.
Thank You for starting this thread SCgirl32!