well guys
im getting back to let those of you that replied know how i am doing.
i have lost 3 pounds (if my scales are not lying). im "riding the crimson wave" though and taking diurex to help my bloating so actually i don't really know if ive lost anything since the 3 pounds may be all water. who knows.
i have read all of your replies and some of the other threads and i realized one major thing that i think ill share with all of you. before i started visiting this website, i had a total ludicrous idea about how i was going to "change my life".
let me tell you first that i have tried EVERYTHING since i was a teenager to lose weight. i have ALWAYS been a little big since i was a 'small' child. i was even a chubby baby. when all the other girls were a 7, i was a 9. when all the other girls were a 9, i was an 11/12 and 13/14. i tried everything from dexatrim diet pills (which made me feel like my heart was racing all day long) to starving myself in high school. nothing worked for more than a few days. i maintained a size 14 until i got pregnant, then my body SHAPE changed. my hips were no longer round, the bones spread and they were square. my breasts were ALWAYS big, what can i say, it runs in the family, but i went from a 36C to a 38DD. i had my baby, then breastfed, which some of you may know sucks the weight off of you because it takes so many calories, my way back to 150 (and a size 14 that my hip bones would barely fit into). then i quit breastfeeding and gradually gained 20 pounds in 2 years. then i got pregnant again, breastfed again, lost to what i was when i got pregnant the second time which was 20 pounds heavier than i should have been to begin with, quit breastfeeding and gained 40 pounds in the next year. i was up to 225 at one point. i went on Xenical (its a diet pill that prevents your body from absorbing some of the fat in the food that you eat. it really only works if you eat a bunch of fatty foods like i did.) and lost down to 180. i kept the weight off for over a year. this past year i have slowly gained back up to around 220. when i started gaining the weight back, i even had a period for a few weeks where i would gag myself to throw my meals back up. that's embarassing to admit, but anyone who has read though this much deserves something in return for my long-windedness, right? i threw up my meals until my 3 year old daughter came into the bathroom once and tried to gag herself. i hadnt realized that she ever paid attention to what i did in the bathroom. that still bothers me to this day to think about. but i never threw up a meal again. so i gained to between 215 and 220. that brings you up to date with my up down cycles and misguided attempts and failures at losing weight.
NOW.
for the revelation i have had from reading your posts. i had thought that when i finally got serious - (i use that phrase because even though i have been dissatisfied with my physical fitness and appearance for years, i have never seriously DONE anything about it. i have just talked about how bad i look and feel and continued to "feed" the look and feel i hated so much.)
- about getting into shape and changing my life, that i would have to start everything at once if i was going to succeed.
i would have started my new life of fitness and healthy eating by either walking for 30 minutes at least 3 times a week, preferably every day, or i wouldn't have considered that really starting. i would have either eaten three healthy meals a day with only healthy, preferably no snacks, or i wouldnt have considered that really starting.
i sounds naive, but i never considered that i should really go about this as slowly as most of you say. i never thought of only changing one meal at a time, slowly building habbits that way. i will be trying that and sort of have been. (i used to drink 2 20 oz bud lites between 11 and 12 at night right before i went to bed so that i could go to sleep. (ive been insomniac since around 12 or 13 yrs old. why do you think i am typing this at 4:36 in the morning when i have school at 8 am.) i have COMPLETELY cut the beer out. my son is almost 8 and hes old enough now to read the labels in the trash anyway. i never want him to see me doing anything like that.) i have also cut way down on my lunch and supper meals. i still eat a big breakfast and i had a candy bar yesterday, but i have cut down on the amount (not the KIND of food i eat) but the AMOUNT of food i eat for lunch and dinner. when i feel like it, im going to start walking in the afternoons while my kids play out, instead of just sitting on the porch reading or writing.
i will keep you up to date on what/when/if/how i lose. id love to hear what all of you started at and are currently at and how you lost/are losing your extra pounds.
i hope it works this time.
wendy