I could have practically written your post word for word. I have sooo been there. I felt like I was missing out on so very much. It was an awful feeling. My family would go on hikes and go horseback riding, swimming, boating - and I ALWAYS came up with some lame excuse to avoid it. I can't tell you how sad that made me. I was so incredibly MISERABLE. I was truly missing out on LIFE.
But then I had enough. I no longer wanted to sit around. I wanted to PARTICIAPTE. I wasn't getting any younger. It was TIME for me to make a change. It was time for me to realize that food just COULDN'T be as important as good health, being active and enjoying myself. IF food is an addiction, it's one that CAN be beat. Or certainly MANAGED - you just have to want to - very, very, VERY badly.
The truth is once I made the DECISION to no longer be fat - NO MATTER WHAT, once I made the COMMITMENT to a better, healthier more active existience - my willpower came into play and it really has no been all that difficult. It's way easier to eat healthy and exercise then it is to be morbidly obese, sad and miserable. Once you get into this new lifestyle IT'S actually more addicting then the food ever was. I promise you that.
And yes!!!! - it's possible to lose 1/2 of yourself - you most CERTAINLY CAN do it. It's all up to you - it's within your power. You CAN do it and you SHOULD do it.
Make yourself a plan. STICK TO IT - NO MATTER WHAT!!!! Rid your house of ALL the junk. ADD in healthy, wholesome delicious foods. Experiment with different - HEALTHY recipes. Make a weekly plan for all your meals and snacks. DECIDE that's what you're going to eat and STICK WITH IT. The first few weeks ARE tough, but hang in there, cause then it gets much, much easier. And enjoyable. I love seeing that scale drop. Love it! I love having my clothes get loose. I love feeling good, looking good, being healthy and getting compliments (added bonus
). Add activity of some sort into your daily life. A 15 minute walk at first is all it takes. Add to it each and every week. Count your calories using Fitday.com or some similar site. Hold yourself accountable. Eat veggies, lowfat proteins, whole grains. Get EXCITED. The end of your misery and inactivity can be coming to a close. Your days ahead can be filled with more joy, more happiness, more ACTIVITY, more clothes (
), just plain old MORE.
Good luck to you. Stick around 3FC. Read. Ask questions. Get involved. Take CONTROL of your life. It will be the best DECISION you've ever made.