Lose weight without dieting? HOW?!?!


By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:

-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals

Each week at least one exercise will be posted; participants will be encouraged to share their answers, thoughts, etc. pertaining to the particular exercise. Snippets from Geneen's other books may be posted from time to time as well. She's a great writer and I encourage you to look into her books (and burn all your other "diet" books in the bathtub.



Join us in Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating!

Exercise 17: From whom did you get the message that is was unacceptable to be yourself?

Check the appropriate boxes:

___Mother
___Father
___Brother
___Teacher
___Sister
___Grandparent
___Friend
___Religious Advisor
___Lover
___Other family member

List the messages you received:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

In what ways have you adapted your behavior to conform to those messages?

Example: When my dad told me I was too emotional, I began holding back my feelings and pretending that everything was okay when it really wasn't. I am still pretending.

Complete the sentence:
I've changed myself over the years to conform to the messages I've received about my behavior by: 1
2
3
4
5
6

Wow this looks like a tough one for me. I'm not sure why but I guess that will reveal itself when I actually tackle this exercise. Don't feel ready for that today.

I am getting concerned about Christmas coming up as this is my worst time of year for bingeing. I am going in a baking exchange next weekend and am very afraid. I need to talk to myself before this and during it as I refuse to abandon all that I've worked for all year for a couple of weeks of Xmas goodie bingeing. Anyone have any tricks on how to get through the holidays?

I try to keep things I don't really care for around. Like Sprits cookies - everyone likes them for Christmas but I don't really care for them so that's what I have for company.

I think this exercise will be revealing also...I have been thinking about it since I wrote the thread.

I don't know for sure why this thought came to me while thinking about this exercise but it did. I realize I don't take care of my body anymore. I used to oil, lotion, bubble bath, perfume, and massage it but haven't done any of those things since gaining weight. I think that has helped me disassociate with the weight.

Tomorrow I start again.

Is everyone busy on this exercise or Christmas shopping?

I am just testing:.....

It snowed 18 inches Tuesday so I have been shoveling, shoveling, shoveling. The sun is out today so that makes it nice.

I hope you are all having a great Saturday.

I have been tired and not exercising this week. I think about it but don't do it.

I did drag my glider in from storage so now it needs to be wiped off and then, of course, I need to get on it.

Okay ladies I think I have found something that will make you want to return here often.
(see below)

Now for this exercise - I guess I would say the feeling of being unwanted or not "good enough" started when I was very young from my maternal grandmother. My weight didn't become an issue until I was almost 40 so I seemed to use other things until then - not so hot relationships because I didn't deserve better - not socialize because who would want to be with me. I always had one or two good friends but kept it at that. Since gaining weight I have learned many people always liked me - what a shocker that was. I have just started to learn my personality isn't so bad.

How about the rest of you?

Well, since George didn't even bring you back here to post I guess there isn't any reason to do the next exercise.

I will try one more time.

My computer's not picking him up!

But I hope you don't stop posting these exercises, LLB! I think everyone's just out playing in the snow, unless they live where I do, in which case they are out playing in the sun.

After reading this a couple of days, it occurred to me how much I live the life created by these "unacceptable" messages. In fact, just recently I've been dealing with yet another job rejection in which the kind editor informed me I was uncreative, unconcise, unenthusiastic and unimpressive, and couldn't write. When I think about this exercise, I realize those unkind (and untrue) charges affect me in the same way these messages have from the earliest years of my life and that they directly affect my weight. So here I am again, overeating when I'm trying to reach a weight goal and turning over my emotional and physical life to yet another fathead. In buying into the negative messages of others about who and what I am, I once again give up, turn over the power and inevitably that is what puts on the weight ... essentially, I believe I think the weight is an instrument of self-destruction. I let others depress me enough by their rejection of who I am that I don't want to be anyone ... I let the fat obliterate me.

Check the appropriate boxes:

_X__Mother
_X__Father
_X__Brother
_X__Teacher
_X__Grandparent
__X_Friend
_X__Religious Advisor
__X_Lover
__X_Other family member

List the messages you received:

1 You are too thin (first five years)
2 You are too fat (thereafter)
3 You are not as smart as your brother
4 You are too sensitive
5 You are selfish
6 You can't do math
7 You are fat! (I could go on, but that's the gist of it)

In what ways have you adapted your behavior to conform to those messages?

See above.

Complete the sentence:
I've changed myself over the years to conform to the messages I've received about my behavior by: See above!



Addendum: "The fault lies not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings!"

e.g., While we can recognize the fatheadedness of others and how really unfairly they've sometimes treated us, it's our responsibility to take back the power we've given them to hurt us. I know the fatheads don't really make me overeat, though their behavior can trigger overeating. But it's my job to put the lock on the trigger. The fatheads don't care if I am hurt. They don't care if I am fat ... only I care if I am fat.

Hmmm I can see George so I wonder why you can't? Does anyone else see him?

[QUOTE]e.g., While we can recognize the fatheadedness of others and how really unfairly they've sometimes treated us, it's our responsibility to take back the power we've given them to hurt us. I know the fatheads don't really make me overeat, though their behavior can trigger overeating. But it's my job to put the lock on the trigger. The fatheads don't care if I am hurt. They don't care if I am fat ... only I care if I am fat.

This is so true and exactly what I have been going thru the last couple weeks.

THANK YOU, [B]Crone

Hi guys!

I see George clear as day. It seems our group is dwindling with Christmas approaching.
Crone your last post brought tears to my eyes. I felt like it was me talking.l

From whom did you get the message that it was unacceptable to be yourself?
Mother, Father, Brother, Teacher, friend, lover, aunt.

You are too thin
You are too emotional
You are too sensitive
You are too analytical
You are too shy
You are too fat
Your opinions don't matter
You can't do it
You are too selfish
Your needs will not always be met

I've changed myself over the years to conform to the messages I've received about my behaviour by:

1. Not saying what I really mean.
2. Avoiding conflict.
3. Let others needs come before mine.
4. Not pursuing opportunities out of fear of failure
5. Eating instead of feeling.
6. Taking others problems on.

I'm still here. A lot of times I'll write out the replys and then delete them, maybe thinking it's good enough that I write them and maybe I don't have to share them. I always feel weirder than everybody else but please continue them! I love them!