I am admitting now that I have an OCD side.
So I've been thinking about going home for Easter weekend. Originally I wasn't going to go. I am really focused on losing this weight and I liked the idea of not returning home until I do. Plus I could stick to my gym schedule that way and not be persuaded to eat more food as I do at home.
But, then my housemate (who is from my hometown) informs me that she will driving home for that weekend and it is a cheap and perfect way for me to see my family. I love my family and want to see them definitely. But, I'm having a lot of anxiety about it.
a) I have no access to the gym when I am home. That means 3 full days of not going to the gym. That freaks me out.
b) I do not have my own healthy food. I'm forced to rely on other people's pantries and tastes and although I can minimize the damage by getting fruits and veggies, it just is never the same.
I know that it is possible to minimize the damage, but the fact that I'm basically not working out and eating less healthy food (not to mention Easter dinner complete with tons of food and dessert) is really stressing me out.
My family so far has never understood the physical anxiety I feel after not working out for a few days because none of them have set foot in a gym. I have tried to explain it to them but it seems to fall on deaf ears. And then I know I will have to explain myself each time I make a different choice for food or don't have dessert. I feel somewhat like a failure for eating my way up to this weight (although my father has never said that, being perfect in his eyes has always been important to me). So for me to have to continually tell my family that I dont want what they are having or need to work out, it is just hard. It makes me different and shows that I am admitting I failed before and now have to correct it.
I dont know if I am explaining this properly since I am at work quickly typing. Does anyone else feel this much anxiety over seeing their family? It seems ridiculous. I know I am very routine oriented though and have never been great at plan changes, or things like that. How do you get over this?
Thanks for the thoughts.