Do you ever fall into the, "this is the last one", lie? Many times I'll have something I shouldn't and tell myself it's the last one. I won't have another for a long time, but then guess what, I have another last one.

Or I'll tell myself I'm beginning the diet tomorrow (totally sure I will) and decide it's o.k. to splurge today, since again, it's my last day.

Am I the only one who does this? Has anyone overcome this way of thinking?

I used to do that all the time. I used to think, "wow, I won't have McDonalds anymore as soon as I start this diet, I better get it today and enjoy it." I used to start new diets about once a month, I would be full of excitement, have all these plans to be "perfect" to eat exactly right, to exercise every day...they rarely lasted more than 2-3 days.

My real "last time" was completely different. I didn't start it "tomorrow" I started it that day, that instant. I don't know what made me overcome that feeling - I had been browsing through a book at the bookstore (Super Foods Rx: 14 Foods That Will Save Your Life and it was like I grabbed an electric fence. In those few moments, I realized why I had failed before and realized what I had to do to succeed. As soon as I knew it, I wanted to start it right away.

I wish I could bottle the feeling and give it to everyone who struggles to start!

That used to be me to, pigging out one last time, etc. But what I decided to do is make this a new lifestyle change. I still allow myself my once a week to eat out. I look forward to that day. If I told myself I could never have it again I would not stay on plan. Most my other days I am pretty good with eating. I have a few days where I slouch a bit but still stay within a certain calorie range. The cal counting has really helped me cause I can still have something I want, like enchiladas or tacos, I just need to watch the calories with it, use less cheese, or low fat etc.

Actually I'm going the opposite route. I told my DF that after the wedding that there is no more watching what I eat, no more exercising! Ok that is a lie. I've allowed myself a bit of leniency as I always tend to do but I've been trying to keep myself on track for my wedding. This next month in particular I want to buckle down because I have less than a month until my wedding. After the wedding, I plan to maybe relax myself a little but not too much. I don't want to gain weight, I want to just not have to worry about being photographed and looking good in a strapless gown.

Really though I never tell myself "I start tomorrow". If I'm not eating as I should, then I start changing that this moment. Some days I fail at changing this moment but it doesn't stop me from trying. Last week in particular was a challenge for me. This week is a bit easier.

What really kills me though is if I did eat right during the times I wasn't eating right, how much weight would I have lost? I could've probably been at goal by now but I can't dwell on that. I just know that my chances of losing the excess fat are higher when I eat right and exercise regularly than if I'm not really watching what I eat and exercise every now and then.

I used to do exactly what you do. I finally realized the key to success for me was telling myself that it was not the last time I was ever going to have a [fill in the blank]. Once I changed my thinking that way, I just didn't want it as much. I still keep all those kinds of food in my house, and if I ever really want to have some, I do. But mostly I am having to throw them away because they are passing their "use by" dates. Foods just aren't as attractive when they aren't "forbidden," IMHO.

I used to do that so often that it became ALL THE TIME! And I would buy a box of cookies, pie, fried foods... so many unhealthy foods. Sometimes I would even say, "well this is my last one [binge] so I'll make it grand!". So yes... I can understand and relate to where you're coming from!

I don't remember what changed. I think I started going to the gym before I started cutting foods out because I have an easier time eating healthy when I am exercising consistently. Then slowly, whenever I was at the grocery store... I would think, "But I just lost 2 lbs, I don't want to sabotage that!". That was a big thing for me... I don't want to gain back what I have lost so far, even though it's not a large amount right now. Once I was able to cut down buying those foods, I began to start reading ingredient lists again and since many junk/unhealthy foods have loads of salt, sugar, and artificial ingredients, I began to stay away from them... so that's another motivating factor for me in addition to the weight loss since I try to eat unprocessed and wholesome foods.

Everyone's different so I won't suggest anything specific - just the idea of taking it slowly... small steps, one step at a time... I like to say, one CHOICE at a time is what it comes down to. Those choices begin to culminate and soon enough, you've made big changes to your life!

Good luck - you can definitely do this! Keep coming to 3FC if you can, I find being here helps a lot!

Sigh ... so many of us are BLACK and WHITE people ... we're either GOOD or BAD ... ON or OFF the diet (usually way, way off ) ... we're perfect or we've thrown in the towel.

Like the other wise posters have said, this is for life and no one is ever going to be perfect for life. We need to stop looking at eating and exercise in black and white; it's all shades of gray, just like real life.

For me, there aren't any more stops and restarts. I started the last diet of my life on June 1, 2001 and it's never going to end. No do overs, no re-starts, no breaks, no quitting. This is for life in every sense of the word.

So do I screw up? Absolutely! Do I quit as a result? Never!

For me there aren't any more 'last suppers' because there's no quitting. If I mess up - and it happens all the time - I stop, pick myself up, and just keep on going. I don't wait for the next meal, or day, or horrors! week or month to get back on track. Honestly, there's not that much damage you can do if you limit it to one event.

I read something once that really made an impact on me and I think it applies here:

The only way you can fail to reach your goal is to quit before you get there.

If every one of us here never gives up, never quits, and never has another 'last supper' only to start all over again, we'll all reach our goals. Guaranteed! And how cool would that be??

Thanks for the enouragement. I think I do need to stop the, "it's the last one" mentality and realize it's not and doesn't have to be. Balance, ugh, such a hard concept for a natural extremist...

Oh and the forbidden food thing is right on. I really do think I want it more if I know I can't have it, and that drives me nuts.

Meg that is unequivocally true and you worded it so well. Thank you! It's so logical but I've never thought of it that way, and I actually feel much better now. I sometimes felt like everything starts to chip away and fall apart when I falter or fall off track.

Sometimes I think we're our own worst enemies, you know? If you went over to the Maintainers Forum and started a thread asking who's perfect and never messes up, I think you'd be met with deafening silence. One unplanned moment and we convince ourselves that we've been bad and blown it totally and we're doomed to be fat forever ... when in reality it's only a little blip on the radar.

What makes the difference between a successful loser (and maintainer) and someone who's forever stopping and restarting is what happens AFTER the mistake. Do you stop, figure out what went wrong and how to prevent it, and then pick up and keep going right then and there? Or do you wallow in guilt and recriminations, beat yourself up, and eat everything in sight because you'll start all over again ______ (tomorrow, Monday, next week, next month, the first of the year )? And this time you'll be perfect!

Mel, one of our mods, has an awesome signature line: Failure isn't falling down; it's staying down.

I find this to be so true! I learn more about what went wrong by a) owning up to the fact that I ate more than I wanted to and b) reflecting on why on earth I did it in the first place.

Now, I view these little missteps as learning experiences. If I can learn from it, maybe it won't happen again. And mentally, that's a world away from where I used to be, which was "well, had some cookies, might as well have some more" OR "Woe is me, I have no willpower." It used to be a binge was all bad. Now a binge is an opportunity to get it right the next time.

Course, it helps that I also compare my current binges to my previous ones and generally find that I don't let go to nearly the same degree as before. In fact, a binge now is less than I used to eat on a daily basis before!

It's the later, sadly. I get all bent out of shape when I fall, then I just give up and have to start all over again.

Excellent quote, btw. :-)

I've heard a few good analogies to keep in mind for situations when we slip :

• If you get a flat tire, do you change it and continue on your trip? Or do you get out a knife and slash the other three tires too?
• If you slip on the sidewalk, do you pick yourself up and keep going? Or do you turn around, go back home, and start the trip all over again?
• If you spill a glass of milk, do you clean it up? Or do you pour the rest of the gallon on the table too?

It seems kind of funny when we look at it that way ...

Thank you all for sharing and the things I have read here today. I am so thankful that I have this place to come ~ to be able to be among people who understand and have ideas to share that might just be the thing I needed to hear that day.

It has been a rugged afternoon here today. The DH (does not stand for dear today) who says you just do it, and a person should never mess up. I was wishing he would look at Meg's post and read how yes she still sometimes messes up. But, to do so would probably be yet another exercise in beating my head against a brick wall. GRRRRRR

I wish he would make some effort to try and understand me ~ it would mean so much, but he said he doesn't need to understand. I feel really bummed ~ I could just cry.

First off, Gayle, I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough day! I would try talking to your DH again after a "cool off period", and just ask that he listen. Explain to him how important this is to you, and having his support and understanding is critical for your success!

Well truthfully, I think we've ALL been there....and can now say, that it never worked! I think the key to succesful weight loss is to have somewhat of a laid-back attitude about it... at least thats the approach i've taken this time and its working. What I mean is, if you say you CAN'T have any bad foods, well then its a diet, and its quite easy to fail as you almost become panicked that you can't eat something you want/crave. This time for me is different because I've taken the mentality that yes I can have a Big Mac if i really really wanted to, however I'm making a healthier choice. Thinking that way I find makes it way easier for me to stay on track.

I think everything is fine in MODERATION! And the key is if you do have a treat, to get right back to your new healthy lifestyle at your next opportunity! I know in the past, I used to say eat a crappy lunch, and then I'd allow myself to eat whatever I wanted for the rest of the day cuz Hey, I'd already "screwed" it up for the day. That's what needed to change!! And now I don't binge on bad food if i've had a treat! When I do treat myself, I truly enjoy it now, because I know that i'm in CONTROL and having a treat once in awhile won't hurt!

Celina