My dh said "I think you need to stop doing that yarn and doll thing,{crochet, knit and doll making} you're sitting too much now. Even if the scale's not going up something is changeing." He saw me from a distance a couple days ago and mistook me for our large neighbor at first. He wasn't nasty about it. He said my fat was redistributing and moving down into where I'm sitting.

It got me to thinking about what I was doing differently....uh-oh, well let's list the ways I've allowed myself to become complacent:

I can't remember the last time I had a salad for lunch-was doing it everyday. Now lunch is a sandwich with not as many veggies.

When was the last time I walked to the bus stop (1.5 miles)? I was doing it at least 3 times a week and sometimes 5.

When did I go to the gym last? Hmmm, well, hmmm I was doing 45 min on the bike or elipical at least 2 x a week and lifting weights a couple times a week.

When did I last sign up in the exercise log on this forum? It's been a couple months at least.

I've been allowing the treats a little too often-more like daily instead of weekly/monthly and I'm not savoring them like treats. I'm gulping them down like I'm starving-which obviously I'm not.


What were my excuses?

It was so hot and humid I didn't want to get all sweaty on my way to work.

It was too hot and humid to walk home from the bus stop.

I'm too tired, my knee hurts, my feet hurt. I have a headache.

Which are all bogus, if I would exercise on a regular basis I wouldn't be so tired, light exercise actually keeps the joints lubricated so the knee and foot pain gradually goes away and I won't melt a way into a puddle of goo if I get too hot (If I'm properly hydrated of course) And I can take a shower when I get home.

What are your excuses? What have you become complacent about that is hindering your weight loss or even causing you to gain?

Sarah

Sarahya give DH a from ME! So, he wasn't being nasty. It's best if someone avoids saying something that will end up hurting those we love. He needs to put on a filter of his thoughts.

I am the queen of excuses, but when I persevere and push myself, I feel on top of the world. Try to push yourself out the door for a good walk today focusing on the beauty all around you. Feel how wonderful it is to breathe, taking in deep breaths. In your mind, tell yourself how proud you are of yourself to be out there and really think of how good it does feel! As you sweat, imagine the toxins working thier way out of your beautiful, strong body! As you drink your water, think of it as purifying your body - then focus on today. Eat well, and give yourself a lot of love. Try not to waste energy focusing on that negative stuff lingering in your head. As Nike says, Just Do It! Then you will begin to empower yourself to feel differently. When I get stuck in my obsessed kinds of thinking, it usually sets me back. Try to move past it, and be open to being completely loving to yourself today. Focus on your needs, and tell your DH that he really needs to spend his energy giving you positive support. Although his comment wasn't supposed to be nasty, it was hurtful. Sometimes, it's at those times that he can take the oppportunity to tell you how beautiful you are and how proud of you he is. Now print this out and go and show him!

I really do not feel his comments were hurtful or meant to be hurtful. I know he doesn't care how much I weigh as long as I'm healthy at whatever weight I'm at. He feels bad for me when I feel bad about myself. I appreciate that he told me the truth. I have been doing a lot of sitting when I used to go for a walk with him or borrow a neighbor's dog and go for a walk. Recently I started doing some charity sewing for the children in the hospital I work, I tend to get obsessive about new hobbies and have been spending every free moment in my sewing room.

I need to learn moderation, go to the gym and then go sew afterwards.

You are right about "Just Do It" stop making excuses and just do it.
Sarah

Well, sorry if I seem harsh. I just want to say sorry then for saying that about your DH. Just want to be suppotive of ya!

Sarah, I'm with you in so many ways. Stuff has a way of creeping in - like two cobs of corn with dinner last night! I spend altogether too much time on my butt. I wish I could borrow your DH for a gentle, loving wake-up call!

Scully, That's ok. I went back and re-read what I wrote and then clarified so it sounded more like what he said instead of me paraphrasing.

I do like what you said and will be printing it out to remind me daily to:

That's so true. Thanks for reminding me.
Sarah

Sarah - I've had the same problem the last few months. I have good intentions on exercise and on limiting treats and then I've just let excuses get in the way. And now I know I'm going to end this month with a gain instead of a loss. But we can do it! I spent an hour at the gym last night and it felt good. I brought my book and got a good ride on the stationary bike. I'm going to stop coming up with excuses and get back on track. We can do it together and in August we can both be Exercise Princesses (there is no way to be the queen with some of our exercisers!)

My sister is a scrapbooker, and a few years ago we went into one of those scrapbooking stores. As we were walking in, we noticed that the majority of patrons in the place were overweight suburban women. I decided then and there to seek out active hobbies (dance class instead of crocheting, for instance).

I should have thought of that before I picked it up. Good thought. I was thinking it was a good way to kill time while I commuted, I didn't realize that I would skip walking home to sit and crochet at the bus stop

Must learn moderation!

Sarah

Beautiful Sarah, I'm proud of you for being honest with yourself about what might not be working as well. That's the mark of someone who's in this for the long haul, girl!!! When you aren't really interested in sticking with it, you let the fact that some things have slipped become an excuse to quit. I'm glad you're using it as a reason to re-energize!!! Yay, you!

I'm sure your DH had the best of intentions...but it definitely helps more when they say things like, "I've noticed you aren't exercising as much. Why not? You seemed much happier and healthier when you were exercising more. Is there anything I can do to help you get back into it? I know I could stand to exercise more too. What can we do to motivate each other?" Things like that really help you get at the root of the problem without putting images in your head that make you feel depressed and less able. Check with Meg, Mel, or Mrs.Jim about this to be sure, but I've never heard of anyone's fat spreading to their rear just because they are sitting a lot. Honestly, your muscles might atrophy from lack of use, your body might take away the atrophied muscle, and you might develop more fat in those areas, but the fat doesn't up and move to your tuchus to provide extra padding for those long doll-making sessions. It's possible that DH really did mistake you for your neighbor, but I bet it's far more likely that he liked how healthy and happy you were when you were doing good things for you and he's afraid that you are going to head back to the place you were before this change if he doesn't say something. I think his mention of mistaking you for your neighbor was his way of expressing his fears that you'll end up unhealthy again if you don't do something to get back to where you were. If what he said bothered you, I hope you talk with him about it. Those negative messages can really scar our souls and mess with our weightloss and our belief that we deserve to be healthy and whole.

I get complacent about my starches...I know that I do best when I have one a day and no more...but I often sneak in a little here and there. I get complacent about sleeping enough and I'm trying to counteract that. Lately I've noticed myself getting into the bad habit of thinking, "well, if I can have things with only a little bit of sugar (like Cool Whip), then it's okay if I have this, because it only has a tiny bit more..." I'm trying hard to check that without being unrealistic. Somethings really are okay...like marinades with a little sugar or salad dressings with a little sugar. But some are not.

Great topic, Sarah...let us know how your changes go!

Its nice to hear that there is someone like myself out there who appreciates the kind but firm honest opinions of those who love you. In the past I have taken the "your not fat, honey" to heart only to get fatter. I have had to "re-train" DH to PLEASE, PLEASE...Tell me the TRUTH. I know he loves me. I know he's attracted to me no matter what. We wouldn't be married otherwise. I personally really need an objective, HONEST, outside opinion to keep me grounded in reality. I'm such an optimist!

Sarayu you BABE! If it got you to thinking and quit making excuses and didn't hurt your feelers...then it sounds like it was a good thing to hear.

My dh said something similar when I was having a bit of ice cream cake last week. He said "is this going to cause you to fall off the wagon?" I think it was his gentle way of saying...."hey when you ain't happy....I ain't either" It made me think about the cake. I had a couple of bites then I was done.

You are beautiful !!!!

I think men just don't get it sometimes - what is meant as a well intentioned wake up call is not communicated as gently as it probably should be, especially when you are dealing with the weight issue.

I do think a wake up call is good sometimes - it is a good thing to be reminded that we don't look as good as we think we do after losing some weight, IMHO. In retrospect, when I weighed 160, I thought I looked ok, not great but ok. Big difference from 184.

Now looking back, not so great! I still need to remind myself that I have a ways to go sometimes. Like you, I have lost about 45 pounds, which makes a BIG difference and does make you complacent (as I justified 3 pieces of dark chocolate tonight!) Reading your wake up call gave me a wake up call . . . not there yet!

Yesterday the weather was nice for a change, still hot but no where near as humid so I got up early and walked to the bus stop and home again. So about 3 miles total, then I was very good in not grabbing a snack out of the office candy bowl. I completely avoided walking that way. Ate OP most of the day.

This morning, my inner excuse demon started up: It's going to be much hotter today, I'll be sticky and stinky when I get on the bus
The counter-I'll take a shower this morning so I won't be stinky and once I evaporate, I won't be sticky. (And I wasn't.)

ED (Excuse Demon): I'm taking a couple dolls in, it'll be too much of a hassle to carry another bag.

counter: They are rag dolls, they don't weigh that much.

ED: (whining) but, I'm tired and I was so good yesterday, doesn't that count for anything? I want to sleep.

counter: yesterday was yesterday, today is a new day. We can do this.

I got out early and walked to the bus stop again this morning. Yeah!

I sort of feel like I'm Sybil having these conversations. I also have an inner Athlete that I have to drag out most of time. We have arguments all the time.

Sarah

There ya go! I must have an Inner Athlete somewhere, too. I've lost weight, but my body still seems to cry out when I make it move.

Just keep "acting as if" ... it'll be difficult at first, but you'll get over the hump and it'll become easier. Nelie has a great quote or two at the bottom of her signature: My healthy eating motto: Eat for the body you want, not for the body you have. My exercise motto: Exercise for the body you want, not for the body you have.