oh boy. it sounds really silly doesn't it. i have been on my own for a very long time. my last relshp was 8 yrs ago and there's not been a lot happening since then. an occasional date. 5 years ago i dated a guy for a whole month!!! but nothing since

most of the time i haven't been tempted but lately i've been thinking i'd like to have a man but how do you start dating and meeting men when you know you have very little energy and no libido? and i seriously mean no libido...

i don't even know where to start to date a man and how to handle the inevitable physical development when i know this will be a problem for me. ummmm any bright ideas? it makes me cry every time i think about it. i know how hard it was last time round so i've been avoiding it ever since.

Hi sweet pea. Have you asked your Doctor about this? Maybe he/she could run some tests and find out why you have low energy and libido. (Hypothyroid maybe?) {{{Hugs}}} to you.

hi thanks for your message

i always assumed it ws depression but there could be something more going on. i have an apptmt with the doc tmrw so i think i should ask. i've made assumptions and they might be wrong

Are you taking something for depression?

I feel so sorry for my husband, sometimes because I feel unattractive and do not want him to touch me or see me. He has told me many times that I have a beautiful shape and he is very attracted to me, but I find this hard to believe. Does anyone else feel like our self image is all tangled up in our sex drive?

I definately have been struggling with my sex drive. I think it went south after having my first child (4 years ago). Then hubby went to Afghanistan for a year and we had another kid. It's been pretty much gone for about a year now. I've seen a doctor and so far nothing has worked.

I'm hoping my problem is 1) because I spend 24/7 with both kids and can't switch into sexy wife mode at the end of the day 2) self image and hopefully losing weight and exercising will help that 3) once hubby gets his vacetamy (sp?) tomorrow then I won't be so worried about getting pregnant again.

Obviously these won't pertain to you but the self image one might. I don't know the solution. I wish I did. I just want you to know you aren't alone.

Babsy, COMPLETELY. I am the same, I dont see how the guy Im seeing could possibly look at me and think "I want me some of that". ;O) I even feel bad for him. He also says he loves the way I look... there is no way that can be true. Besides, this is the guy I posted about on another thread who I was friends with before dating and he would check out girls in front of me. Never once did he check out a girl who wasnt a total twig. :O(

Hi Girls, I've been married about 34 years, battling weight the entire time. Early on, I confessed my insecurities about my not very sexy body to my husband. He flipped off the light, cuddled up and said, "All cats are grey in the dark." So, years later he's something of a chunky monkey and it certainly doesn't diminish him in my eyes. Where love lives, the heart forgives.

For me
When I was working out 5 to 6 days a week the more energy I had and the more weight I lost the better the sex got.
As soon as you stop thinking about it would be great to have a man around to do things with , go places and get to know each other better it happens.
Ive gained about 25 pounds and all because I have given up on myself and stopped putting myself first.
When I was making sure I did this and did that at this time and putting myself first I was doing great losing weight and everything was falling into place. My house was more dirtier but at least I was feeling better about myself. Take care of you and the rest will happen.

Egads,,,I met my husband when I weighed 135 lbs tops. I more then double that now...after 20 years is sure hasn't changed our relationship. Other then worry of health problems. Im working on it,,,and hubby is supportive. He was pretty lean when we met,,,hes gained probably 30 lbs, but being that we were teens when we met hes just filled out. He gets a belly,,,and he complains, a week later its gone...grrrr

could definitely be that!!! i know since i got my meds right and all that for my hypo, i could care less about sex! or maybe its because its been a while ya know? kinda like you dont miss what you dont have!!!

and then it could be you just havent met someone you have chemistry with and when you do, the libido will correct itself!!!

yeah lots of chocolate!!! hence being a member of 3FC

okay to everyone

i'm off to the doc now so i'll reply to the rest of you soon. but my main thing is i don't have a man. if i already had a man and didn't want sex it would be fine. we could talk about it or whatever

but it's not a convo you can have on your first date. you know by the way forget about ever having sex with me because nothing's gonna happen mate doesn't tend to have them eager to spend more time with ya

doc suggested changing my meds so we will see if that helps

Good luck sweet pea.