I am up to my limit of how much I can take. I just don't know what else I can do. I've tried everything - talking to a therapist, going on a diet, reading as many books as I can find... NOTHING helps. I still eat a lot. I eat until it hurts. I just hate myself. I feel like there is nothing else that I can do. I guess I just need to learn to live with the fact that I am just always going to be this way... Is that true though? It seems so hard to believe that

No one knows. I don't have the courage to tell anyone. I'm scared they will be ashamed to be my friend. It's just so hard to live this way. I just want to eat normal. I just want to be normal. I just want to distance myself from food, but that is nearly impossible. I'm just so frustrated and don't know what else to do.

Will I ever like myself? Will I ever be healthy? I feel like my eating has gotten so much worse because I'm just not happy. This is just pure ****.

Sorry to be such a depressing post, but I just don't know what else I can do

First of all I commend you for coming on here and telling you story. Second, how long did you see a therapist? How long did you try diets, and what kinds? Where they even realistic??? What books have you read? Don't you give up yet, you may have just not found what you need yet. Don't be ashamed either! You are not alone by any means!!! And ultimately it is up to you if you will even like yourself. You have a couple choices you can either accept yourself fully or change things. You being healthy is also up to you. Just don't give up hope!

Thank you for your honesty and response. I saw a therapist for about 4 months weekly. I was doing good, or so I thought, but then I found myself not being truthful during the sessions and then felt like I should stop wasting money. The crazy thing is, I don't even want to eat. I'm not even hungry most of the time. It's just that something good or bad will happen in my life and I either want to celebrate with food or drown myself in it to make whatever bad happened go away. Is anyone else like this? It's so hard to get out my feelings because I just feel so alone It's so pathetic of me. It's like "Why don't I have strong enough willpower to just stop eating"

I've been dieting on and off since college. I've tried Nutrisystem, Atkins, South Beach, low fat, counting calories - I feel like I've done everything. It's so hard to stick to something especially when you are around others who aren't eating like you. I guess I put too much pressure on myself and if I mess up and eat something that I am not supposed to, I will be convinced that I just messed up the whole day, so why not eat whatever I want whenever I want. I know that my thinking isn't correct...

I've read books on the above diets, I've tried reading some binge eating books such as: Overcome Binge Eating, The Truth about Beauty, books from real life people journaling their ways of eating... I just haven't found something that I could get too much info from. MOst of the time, I'm just so confused and I just binge more.

Deep down I want to accept myself fully, but i don't know what that means. I don't know how to do that. I want to be healthy and I want things to change, but how in the world does this stuff happen????

Hi Pink -

I feel horrible about the way that you feel about yourself. You and I are very similar and I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are feeling this way right now. I wish that I could tell you the magic cure, but I have to agree with the other post about deciding to make a change in your life. Just start off slow with baby steps. If you want, you can pm me and we can talk... I just want to reach out to you and make you feel better about yourself.

Good luck.]

After reading your post. If you would give Jesus a try. You would find you did the best thing you could have done for youself. If you want me to lead you to Him. Just let me know. I will be more than happy. He loves you and wants you to love you too.

hi pink,
you and i sound a lot alike, i have been battling with food since i was a little girl. i know i will struggle with this all of my life. just telling you what to do isn't the answer really. we're all here to support you but ultimately you have to find the power inside to start the changes. looking at the whole big picture was very hard for me too. i have a lot of that all or nothing mentality. i find that taking control of one small aspect and building on it is the best way for me to re-gain control. i don't know if that is something that will work for you or not. coming here for support is a very positive step in the right direction. not sure what else to say except that you aren't alone in this!!!

Hi pink!

If you dont mind me asking, what foods do you binge on? One of the things that made it easier for me was to stay away from my binge foods at all cost in the beginning. I know it is not easy at times but if you go a few days away from your normal binge foods, it helps you begin to believe in your self because you feel more in control. Once I felt in control I wasn't so hard on myself because it felt possible that I would not be this way for entire life.... I could finally start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

I believe its the little things that happen and continue to happen that starts putting you in more control and closer to not binging as much.

I hope this helps because it is one of the things that has really helped me.

Thanks to everyone that posted a message for me. It's nice to know that people care, even though we don't know each other.

Sarah: You asked what I binge on. I guess the question should be what do I not binge on. Anything loaded with carbs, candy, chips, chocolate, bagels, tortillas, dips, pizza, donuts, just anything. I've thought about staying away from foods, but havne't actually tried it. I just give in too easily and I am afraid that by depriving myself I will just want it more. You said in the beginning though - Does that mean that you can eat the foods now that you avoided before? I am really glad that you noticed that you wouldn't be that way forever. That is what I want to feel too. Thanks for sharing what helped with you.

Jodi: It's nice to hear that there is another person like me. The all or nothing mentality of mine definitely needs to change and you and Sarah both mentioned getting in control of tiny things. I will try to start that and keep it up throughout the day.

Thanks again both of you for the good advice

As Turtledove says, God has been the solution in my life also. God DOES love you; and WE care too!

Hi Pink!

You asked, " can eat the foods now that you avoided before?"

Well, I've allowed myself to have whatever I want but only when I am with someone else. I found that this does not deprive me and also keeps me safe from becoming a full out binge. Its funny though, I dont even find my self wanting the same junk food that I used to. I am enjoying being and eating healthy. I have really learned a lot about my self over the last couple of weeks after reading kristin's book. I admit the first month without binging was so hard, so I started writing everything down. I found that really helped me, and maybe that will help you too.

Same here Sarahberry... I don't "deny" myself any of the foods I really want; BUT when I am eating healthful foods I stop WANTING the junk; and even when my "body" wants it and I am tempted I don't REALLY want it because I want my health and to lose weight even MORE! And there is something special about having said "no thanks" and turning it down... the good feeling from THAT lasts MUCH longer than the good feeling from having eaten it!

Good morning everyone

Misti: God is in my life and I know that he loves me. Thank you for reminding me. I guess I just need to learn how to deal with everything and incorporate Him in it. It's just hard sometimes - especially when I just feel so down. It's hard to seem positive about anything sometimes... Here's my promise though: I'm going to try everyday. Really try to turn over my problems and ask for help. I do really want to change my ways and change the way that I feel about myself. It's so easy to wish for a quickfix, BUT I know that is not the answer and there is no such thing.

Sarah: Thanks for your post again. It's so nice to hear about someone who is a step ahead of me. It encourages me. You and Misti both mentioned the fact that when you guys are eating healthy, that you don't crave the bad stuff. I just want to get to that point too. I want to feel that special feeling of turning down food. Last night I ordered a pizza, but I only ate 3 pieces, which was a start I guess. I need to not be so hard on myself too.

It's been so nice talking to you guys on here. I do feel support, which is something that I haven't felt before. It feels nice to be reminded of things tat I know and to hear stories from people that are ahead of where I am right now.

Thank you to everyone that has posted on here for me. I will continue to check this and hoepfully more people can write in what has helped them. I really appreciate it.

Oh, sarah, you mentioned something about "Kristin's book"? Is that the name of a book? I didn't understand what you were talking about.

Hope everyone has a good day - I know that I'm going to try

Pink,

You are already on the right track! You mentioned that you only had 3 pieces of pizza. That really is something you can be proud of and celebrate!

We all have to start somewhere and be proud of your self that you are starting to get in control. I found that it's helpful to write down how you feel in a journal and write down your successes because you can look back on them when you are feeling down and remember how good it felt to stay in control.

To answer your question, he he, it's not called kristin's book I hope I didn't confuse you. The name of it is "how to stop binge eating and take control of your life", i think.

Kristin's book is what helped me to finally stop binge eating. I'm not sure if it is published or not, but I got it on her website endbingeeating.com.

Hi Sarah -

Your positive words almost made me cry. Thank you so much for your responses to me. It is just so nice.

Thanks for telling me about that book. I was really confused at first. I'm going to check out the website - I will try anything... I feel so desparate.

Thank you. Also, congrats on losing 12 pounds! That must feel so nice!

Hi Pink,

Awwweee! You are so welcome! I'd love to know if you got Kristin's book. I've emailed her several times and she's been so helpful to me. I owe overcoming my binge eating to her fully. I should tell her about this forum because I think she could help so many of us here!

Thank you!!!! I seem to be stuck at 12 pounds but hope to fix that with me walking 2 times a day I've started. Do you do any fitness thing or go to a gym? I'm still getting to that point my self.

You keep up the great work girl!