But I made it through!
All I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat chips and dip, mashed potatoes and sour cream, a HUGE steak, a juicy burger - any meal that would be fattening and artery clogging.
I didn't want to journal my food. I didn't want to count a single point. I didn't want another sip of water.
By bedtime last night I realized why.
I realized I was pouting. I was mad at the realization that I will very likely have to do something like this for the rest of my life. This isn't a 'quick' fix. This isn't a temporary solution to a interim problem.
This is something I will have to handle and deal with every day. Just like being an alcoholic or addicted to drugs - I'll have to take it one day at a time forever.
I will always have to make smarter choices about food and physical activity. I will never be able to eat just what I want, when I want, every time I want to.
For the first time in my life I realized that in order to loose weight and keep it off. In order to reach a healthy weight .
I have to loose a lifestyle. I have to reach a healthy mindset. And it has to be a 'forever' kind of thing. Otherwise I'll be right back where I stared (plus a few pounds).
It was a tough realization.
So, like I usually do when upset, pouting, frustrated, angry, depressed ... I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat until it didn't hurt or make me angry any more!
The good news? I pigged out on plain, air popped popcorn and 32 ounces of water!
I turned my back on my desire to sabotage myself. I thought about it and I made smarter choices! And I stayed OP. I stayed within my points. In fact, I even managed to bank 4 points!
Hurray!
Carole
289.6/155
