Forgive me if I do or say anything wrong.. I am (obviously) new and still not quite sure what I am doing.

I'm Fae, age 20, 5'7, somewhere around 208 lbs, and insanely insecure. I grew up in a place where looks were everything, and didn't have many friends due to being overweight and not dressing right.

I've been able to drop something like 30 lbs in the last 3 years, due mostly to the fact that I don't drive and it's a half hour walk between my house and my place of employment. Sadly, said place is Wendy's... resisting temptation when there are fried foods within grabbing distance is very hard. I often mean to eat healthy at work and then... don't. And I guess for a while it didn't bother me, because I was losing weight (extremely slowly, but it was happening), I have a steady relationship with a guy who asked me out at my biggest (wearing a size 22 jeans and weighing somewhere close to 240... not the healthiest thing for a 16 year old), even though I feel intimdated by him because he is one of the thinnest people I have ever met. I have friends, most of whom are all smaller than I am.

Im always saying I am intimidated by pretty and skinny people, because I always think they are better than I am. I feel akward going out with friends, because I feel huge next to them, so I'm finally trying to do something about it... 2 days without eating fried foods at work, and I even went running this morning with a friend and her boyfriend (both of whom would run ahead, then wait for me to catch up.. I can walk for miles, but running wears me out quickly.. thankfully, we alternated walking with running, so i wasn't even very worn out.)

The hard part is I have no money for equipment... no weights, no videos.. though if I had the money I would probably re-join Curves, that place was helpful! So I am stuck on my own.. currently trying to find the money just to get a scale, so I can track my progress... but doing things like that... buying a scale or buying low-fat foods, things like that, make me feel stupid, embarassed.. I don't know. I just feel like the person ringing up my things is staring at me and thinking what a loser I am.

Oh my, I didn't mean for this to be such a long, ranting post... If you've read the whole thing, then bless you! And I promise I'm not this depressing usually.. (though I do tend to talk this much ). And again, I apologize if I did anything wrong.

~Fae

First of all, WELCOME! You've found a very helpful and supportive site here at 3FC--the people are great!

Second, we have all been embarassed by our bodies at some point. Even thin people have aspects of themselves of which they are ashamed. You are not worth any less simply because you are overweight! Heck, I am almost 300 pounds and have a great boyfriend, well-paying job (even if it is boring!), awesome apartment...being overweight doesn't mean you deserve any less than anyone else.

Who cares what the cashier at the store thinks? They should think MORE of you for buying healthy foods and such because you are making an effort to change and become healthier! In my opinion, they would think less of you if you were buying nothing but junk food, like they just assume all overweight people eat nothing but junk food all the time, ya know? Buying low-fat products is a sign that you are becoming more responsible for your own well-being--how is that anything to be embarassed about?! And anyway, who cares what a cashier thinks? I'm sure they ring up plenty of personal products for other people (condoms, anti-fungal creams, Monistat, tampons, wart removers...)--it's just a normal part of their job, and in comparison, healthy food is certainly not anything to be ashamed of! Plus, the sooner you start buying healthier foods, the sooner you will reach your goal and not have to be embarassed anymore, so isn't it worth it?

As for exercise, who needs fancy equipment? Go for long walks, work up to jogging and maybe even running. If it's hot out, turn some music on in the house, clear some space, and dance like a freak for 30 minutes or so. ANYTHING to get you moving will help you burn calories and increase stamina. For strength, you can do crunches, push-ups, squats--plenty of exercises will get those muscles working without the use of videos or equipment.

Lastly, don't ever apologize for long posts! We're here to help and support you, and if it takes you a small novel to explain your issues, then that's fine! Heck, look how long my response post is! In any case, we're glad you're here, and good luck!

Aww bless you Fae - welcome!

ditto everything above! It sounds like you're already on the way.. .going for a run/jog/walk is a great start!

Oooh working in Wendy's - I don't envy you! Just something that might put you off wanting to eat at work, do your clothes smell really bad and greasy when you get home? I used to cook breakfasts and I used to REEK when I got home - which put me off food while I was there! I also found that working all day with food meant that I could never be bothered to cook anything when I got home so I just ate cereal or something easy!

I too have got a stick insect for a fiance! He's a waif! Really! And the most irritating thing is he can finish off a whole packet of pies in a day and STILL be thin! I hate him!

You will do this because you want to do this. You're already started - no turning back now!

Good LUCK!

Welcome, Fae! Your post really touched me because I have been where you are -- ashamed, embarassed, humilated, insecure -- I think we've all been there. I used to be embarassed by the things I bought at the store, too. At my highest weight, I'd be buying healthy things and maybe something like Slim Fast bars, and all I could think about was the cashier and people in line thinking, "Gee, this fat girl needs to do something else. All this healthy food isn't helping!" I was so insecure. It's hard to make those steps, but it is so worth it. After losing some weight (by eating those healthy things I was embarassed to buy), my self-esteem has sky-rocketed back to where it once was -- it's just an amazing feeling. In every aspect of life, there are things we have to do that are uncomfortable, but the rewards can be incredible -- this is the case here!

It sounds like you're already making positive steps -- great job on walking/jogging! Also, I really admire you for avoiding the fried foods when you work around them all day -- that takes a lot of willpower. You're well on your way!

Come and post as often and as lengthy as you'd like! We're all here for support, and most likely, someone (or all of us), have been through something similar. I look forward to getting to know you better!

Take care,
Jina

Welcome!!
It seems like everyone has covered most of the basics, so I just wanted to say Hello and I hope you enjoy these forums as much as I do! A lot of us are in the same boat as you, or have been at some time. There are lots of good ideas and supportive, helpful people around so don't be nervous!

Hi Faye,
I too used to be ashamed to buy "diet" foods. I felt the same way everyone else does, and I have had all the self defeating thoughts. I just started thinking, forget what everyone else thinks, this is for me. That helps. I have the support of my husband and family, and that is all I care about. I also have an evil confession, my sisters are a bit overweight and my success is making them terribly jeolous. Not in a way that they want to sabatoge me, they are very happy for me cause I have battled my weight for five years. They want to loose too but don't have to will power to give up their favorite foods and work out. Their jealosy feeds my ego as I have always been a very competitive person. That alone gives me the will power to keep on track. I am also hoping that it motivates them.

It sounds as though you have support from your friend, that is great, just keep it up and it will make a difference. I also totally understand not being able to afford the fancy equipment and such, I like to watch for dvds that are on sale, it just comes down to making a decision between the video and something else. I wish you the best of luck, and just remember there are a lot of people around here to help and support you. This is a great place to be.
Jen

Welcome! Everyone else has pretty much sumed up this place... lol

Welcome, Fae!

Welcome to our board! Don't worry about those cashiers, they could care less what you buy! They are just going through the motions and even if they did care....it's none of their business. Even if you weighed 500 pounds, that doesnt' make you any less of a person. Your friends wouldn't be your friends if you weren't a nice, fun person to be around. Don't let the weight run your life, it wins if you do! There's really nothing you can do wrong here so don't worry and post as much as you want.

Good luck on your journey!
Amber

I used to feel the same way. I was one of the big kids growing up and got teased for it. I can honestly say that I hated high school. It did a number on my self-esteem, but I would never show anyone that it bothered me. I would go home and argue with my parents and scream at my pets (I really hate the way I screamed at my pets, it makes me cry just thinking about it.) I never had a boyfriend until I was 20 and he was the worst. But the thing that helped me is..... Do I really care what people think about me? I want people to love me for who I am. If they can't see past my body then F*ck them! And as for the cashiers... I've been a cashier... the only thing that bothers them is if you ask for paper when you already started bagging it in plastic or if you take FOREVER to get your money out. And you shouldn't have to worry about what other people think. The thing that you have to do is to start loving yourself.... once you can accept yourself you won't worry about approval or what other people think. You have to start picking things out about yourself that you like instead of picking out the things you don't like. Like, I really like my eyes. I love my teeth, i've never had to have braces. I have a well paying job that I love. I'm going to school to be an EMT. I have a great sense of humor. I really care about my friends. Those are all things that I love about myself and the list gets longer everyday. I think you should try it. The biggest critic you will ever come across in your entire life is yourself. Like I said, once you learn to love and accept yourself you won't care what others think! What do you like about yourself?

Sara G.

*dies* You guys put the biggest smile on my face! I feel special.. and I love you all already! *G* Thanks for all the suggestions.. I ran up here to check my email before cooking with my sister (deffinately healthy... pitas with veggies, because my sister, along with being bigger, is also diabtic).

Sharon - thank you for the link, I'll make sure to check it out! (and to add you.. Im always looking for new people to talk to!)

I'd make a longer post and reply to everyone, but alas.. my sister will wonder where I disappeared to!

It's really funny, because my friend gave me this site a while ago, and I felt to strange to join.. now I wish I had earlier! Ah well, no regrets for the past, today is what matters, etc...

Welcome Fae! Most of us have felt how you feel now at one point in our lives. You've come to the right place. Remember as you try to save money, whole foods like veggies, fruits, whole grain breads and lean meats are easy to prepare and cost a lot less than Slim Fast or Lean Cuisine meals. Not that those aren't a great substitute, but they can cost a lot of money to eat regularly.

I agree with the previous poster that said to have a salad at Wendy's. Stick with water instead of sodas and you are off to a great start. Keep on walking and run when you feel like it. Dance and play, do crunches and squats. The YMCA usually offers free or discount memberships to low income people. I use that in the winter and occasionally if I feel like using equipment or weights. Exercising can be fun and free. Keep checking in here and set some goals.

Good luck and have fun!