Hey everybody. Hope that your Mondays are going fantastically. It's sunny here and I'm looking forward to a long run later (soon!).

I've been going through some really difficult diet times for awhile now. I didn't realize how long until I checked out how long I've been hovering in the 160s - since around Thanksgiving time! Yikes! Think of all the weight I could have lost if I'd gotten my act together! Even if I'd just lost 4 lbs. a month, I'd be in the 150s for sure! I'm getting to the point in my weight loss that I absolutely have to deal with my issues with food, something that I really haven't been dealing with yet. I've been doing some research, and am pretty sure that I can diagnose myself with binge eating disorder. I've pretty much known that for quite a while now. What scares me more than that is that since I've started dieting, these urges have gotten worse and I've also done the purging part several times. That's really hard to put out there, but I think I need to be honest with myself and with those around me. I'm trying to get up the courage to talk to the DH about this too. He needs to know where I stand, and what "Hey, we should get ice cream" can mean for me.

So here's what I know: I have food and body image issues. (Hey, who doesn't, right?) I have started a journal to work through some of these problems, it's a place for me to write what I'm eating and why, how I'm feeling about general stuff, my diet, my body, etc. Also, I'm going to outline short term goals there and what i can do to achieve them. My goal for this week is to stay on plan by eating under 1500 calories per day, continuing to exercise (I've really got a grasp on this now - it's not a problem anymore to get myself to do it), drinking 100 oz. water, writing in my journal daily and posting here often. This will keep me from binging (and with that, purging), and it will help me to lose weight, so it's a great plan, right? Yesterday was Day 1, and I managed to do it. I even declined two kinds of Girl Scout cookies at a friends house. Yummy! Actually, I haven't eaten a single G.S. cookie all season, and they said they were out for the last time last time I saw them at the grocery store. Hurrah! I did have some low-fat ice cream with Samoa's in it, which was awesomely good. (It was Dreyer's brand, but I think that that is called something else East of the Rockies!)

That was way too long and serious for a Monday! Sorry girls! Not to mention that this is the last week of classes! I hate Dead Week! Anyone else out there with me on that one?

Have a great Monday!

It sounds like you've done a lot of serious thinking about this, Jenicra and I see myself in a very similar situation. Especially with the ice cream binges from a "helpful" boyfriend. However if you are bingeing AND purging, that is more like bulimia and really serious. You have done an amazing job with losing weight so far and your running races and everything is awesome! Keep up the good work and use your journal to document how you're feeling as you go through all of this. It's tough, and I know that from experience and I know how it feels to think, yeah I've lost a bunch of weight but if I had my act together I wouldn't be stuck at this plateau...I would have lost even more. I'm usually around all the time so PM if you are getting one of those urges to eat and you want to resist.

My Monday went really well..it's a beautiful day here in Texas and I got out to take a walk after doing laundry plus the regular gym trip this morning. Tonight I am thinking of renting "Shall We Dance" with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez. Any reviews??

Jenicra: ((((((HUGS))))))) Girl, you are so awesome. Thank you for putting yourself out there. I think you are a incredible lady, and I know you can conquer this! I think you have a good plan in motion, I mean pinpointing why you do it, is part of it, and that may help.

I have kept a journal since I was 12 (I'm 21), and I cannot tell you how much they have helped me. When something's bothering me, its like it floats around in my head til I pin it to paper, and then its no longer on me, its out there and no matter what's on the page, its something you can identify & work with. Its really helped me with eating better & learning to exersize. We just didn't do that in my family. Its such a compliment that you feel supported & comfortable enough with us to share something so difficult & I really have a lot of respect for you. Good luck with everything!

Jenrica-I think journaling is a great way to collect your thoughts and form a gameplan to combat a problem. I plan on starting one immediately.

Lizzbabe-My mom saw "Shall We Dance?" and loved it. But then again, she is a sucker for anything Richard Gere.

I had to waitress today at work, so I ran around all day without a lunch break. Probably not healthy, but at least I got some exercise . I am eating Yoplait Light yogurt each morning, hopefully that will jumpstart my metabolism with it's calcium and protein. Gym tomorrow night after work. Keep it up ladies!!

I'm New and very excited to try and lose some weight-- I've been going to the gym for a while now and want to step it up--
My biggest problem is that I work 2nd shift so I get home around midnight and I want to EAT-- anything and everything I get my hands on but tonight I'm NOT going to do that-- hopefully the first of many nights of NOT eating!!!

Jenicra - I think you have been doing a great job with your weight loss and I am glad that you are confronthing you binge/purge issues. I tried that (and every other eating disorder) in my teens - none of them stuck - until I found herbalife! :P I am a sucker for a pill. Many many many times after having gone through a period of weight loss I have caculated how much I could have lost, but it is such a waste of time to think like that. I am coming out of one of those periods now. I just have to get back on the horse.
And if any woman out there has a solution to the "helpful" boyfriend/husband PLEASE share it!!!! It is like he has radar for when start trying to eat healthy - sabatoge!!!
Anyway - I have to get going -- good luck today everyone - happy tuesday!

((hugs)) Thanks for the support and kind words everybody. Yesterday went really well, and, again I avoided G.S. cookies AND sherbet creamsicles. AHHH! Do my friends really hate me?!?!? Anyways, as far as fixing the helpful husband, I have absolutely no idea. Sometimes he's really good about it and sometimes he says just the right thing at just the right time and sets me off (or is that the WRONG thing at the WRONG time?). It's good to see you back around here Krista! Welcome Nicole - that's a tough shift. Feel free to ask around if you need any strageties for dealing with it.

Lizzbabe, let us know how the movie was. I want to rent something this weekend too. Incredibles is coming out on the 15th (very funny) and Bridget Jones part 2 is supposed to come out sometime later this month and Im very excited about getting those. I think I will buy both. Has anyone tried Netflicks?

I have heard good things about Netflix but Blockbuster seems to have the same deal (3 movies out at a time) for 14.99 so its cheaper
But I have not signed up for either-- I am too cheap!!! LOL

Niccole - I have that deal with Blockbuster and we really like it. No late fees! Awesome!

lol, my sister works at Blockbuster...I get free movies! WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEED! I suggest, The Notebook! Best movie I've seen so far this year.

Happy Hump Day girls!

Today Is my b-day, I plan to order pizza for lunch (with stuffed crust) then hit the gym later on tonight, for a nice hard workout. I dont' think I have ever worked out on my birthday before, just never sounded like a good idea. I can't think of anything that would be better than getting my sweat on at the gym tonight, in celebration! Wow~things have changed in my mind concerning working out. This is a good thing.

Oh happy birthday, Spill! Kudos for working out on a day you can justify skipping! Good job! I saw the Notebook. Bawled.... and bawled. Its one of those I will only watch once. My emotions cant handle that movie again. :-) I really liked that guy. I thought he looked too young and skinny but after that movie, that actor kinda grew on me.

I really liked "Shall we dance" and then the other night we got "friday night lights" which was good too. I got the Blockbuster $9.95 unlimited in-store rentals since the store is really close by and I'm not patient enough to wait for DVDs in the mail haha.

On another note, I ran a full 5 miles on the treadmill today!! That has been my goal for awhile now and I've been working up to it. It felt so good to complete it and I ran between 6-6.8mph so I didn't even slack as much as I would have on the track.

Have a great Thursday girls! (and boys)

Congrats on the 5 miler Lizz! 5 miles on the treadmill is an eternity sometimes isn't it? I think I've pretty much grown bored of the treadmill. I like seeing all the info it gives you, but I get bored too quickly anymore. I do tend to runner slower outside, though.

My week is going swimmingly, hope yours is too!