Angel- It is supposed to be in the 70's all week..I don't have a scanner so I can't put picture on. Maybe we can Messenger your address and I can send you one sometime.. My sister Eleni puts pictures on now and then..Another thing for me to learn.I am alternating walking on beach and T/M now.. It gets boring on the T/M sometimes.
Hello Everybody...Joanne

Charlotte-You'll have to let us know how your neurologist appt. goes. I'm praying for you.

Joanne-I need to be on the sand too. My life is such a hectic, stressed out, jumble of a mess right now and walking on the beach sounds like heaven to me. I might have to shove myself in a box and mail me down to you.

You gals have a great day! I'm back to cleaning, or I guess I should call it "damage control"....

~chris

Charlotte-I love your Garfield picture. He has always been my "hero"...all the way since grade school. I am so sorry to hear about your neck. I don't know how you handle it. I would be a nervous wreck. I'm an worry way too much and think of the worst case scenarios when I have something going on. Big personality flaw. My husband says I'm a fatalist. Just call me doomsday.

Today was a little calmer around the house. Nicole has a really bad cold and I'm waiting to see if it hits her lungs hard. She always has problems with that now since she had pneumonia. I have this nasty feeling she is going to have, or has, asthma.

As far as my stressing. I just don't know what to do anymore. Tiana is hitting the pre-teen, hormone-changes and is one major mood swing after another. She doesn't get along with my husband. To me, it does seem like he gets on her more. Almost like he can't wait for her to screw up so he can have a reason to be mad at her. My 5 yr. old is fighting back too. She's been back-talking more and hitting her little sister. I help clean her room and the next day its a disaster again. I'm tired of doing things and having them undone. ANd then you have Nicole...she's biting, hitting, screaming, and taking off when no one's looking. She took off with her trike the other day and was one block up on a busy street before I found her. We have tried the "naughty corner", time outs, taking favorite things away, taking away priviledges...and the results...NO CHANGE! Every night, without exception, dinner is a chaotic stressful time. None of the kids will eat. "i'm not eating that. I don't like that. Etc". My husband has been testy with me and the kids. I haven't had any time alone with him and to be blunt...not even any "relations" for almost 6 months. Nicole keeps waking up and getting in bed with us late at night. I feel like I'm failing the parent test...along with the spouse test. Kelly says I'm distant to him. I know I am but don't know why. I want to be loved and love someone but I put walls up with everyone. I'm a mess, I think. I feel like the world's coldest person. I know it doesn't sound all that bad but I just can't put it into words or write everything that's been happening or we'd have a book....

OKay...that was my mini-vent session. I wish I knew of a parenting class, or a book on parenting that would help. I've read Dr. Dobson's books but didn't get a whole lot of information out of them. I wish we could afford counseling because I sure could use it. Find out why I am the way I am.

~chris
p/s sending heart-felt prayers your way, Charlotte. I keep thinking that it could be me going through the same stuff some day. I'll keep praying and praying and praying for you.

Hi Chrily...
Well, I just posted a very long message to you, & lost it all! I doubt if I can remember it all, now. I'll do the best I can.

I do know my heart went out to you. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. You ARE NOT cold, or a bad mom or wife. You are in bad health. You have a pre-teen, younger children, distance from your DH, & seeing a strain between your DH & daughter. I think you are a very strong person! You're under a lot of stress, & that is very bad for you.

I've done a lot of research, & found that the meds for auto immune disease effects different things, including the desire for "relations". It's the same with me. I love my DH very much, & want his love & attention....but, feel like an old woman that just wants to rest.

Remember, also, that your DH, like mine, doesn't have the health problems that you have, so he can't understand. My DH has always been in perfect health (thank God), so he thinks drinking a lot of water, & getting exercise is the cure all for everything. I have printed out material from websites & given it to him to read, concerning RA. It seems to have helped him a little. I can see how they may not realize how it is, I didn't either, until I got it.

My children are grown, so I don't have to chase after them, or contend with teenagers....they drove me up the wall, & didn't have RA then! I went through all that you have to contend with, only with good health...I thought it would kill me! We started out with twin daughters....I got pregnant with them on our honeymoon. Four yrs later, another daughter, then 6 yrs later...when I thought I was through having children, I had our son. It was a real strain....trying to work, & drag kids to the babysitter, & school. If I'd had RA then, I don't know if I could have handled it.

I don't know of any books, but I'm doing research to try to "help myself", if I come out of this immediate situation alright. I've found that foods can help or hurt RA. So, I'm going to try to eat the right foods. When I get a list of the good & bad foods, I'll post them for you all.

Do you have a few minute during the day that you can be alone & unwind? I go to my pc, or out to a park, or just to town to the stores. Do you have someone (besides us) to talk to? I don't (not really), that's why I vent a lot to all of you. I use to go to "Notepad" & put down my feelings, then delete. Now I come here. If there's any chance at all...& I know it's hard....for you & DH to get a couple of days away, or just go out to eat alone, it would help you both. DH & I go out every Friday night & eat, just to get out of this invironment. If we're home, I'm doing my own thing & he's doing his..mostly TV. But, to go out to eat, we talk! If you can't afford steak, go to McDonald's...anywhere...just to be together. Sometimes, our DH's get a little jealous of our attention, & he's already complained to you.

Any time you need to talk, I'm here, Chris. When we're in bad health, & hurt, we're not going to be the person others/we want us to be. We've got to take care of ourselves. You need to be around & feeling well enough to get those youngsters grown. Some day you'll here from your pre-teen (like I did ) "MOM...I don't know how you handled me, or why I was that way...I'm sorry" ...It'll all be worth it!! I hope I've suggested something that might help.

I thank you for your prayers....counting on them. Have a good day.
Charlotte

Charlotte-YOu're husband sounds like mine. When I'm hurting and reach in the medicine cabinet...he makes his usual comment..."swallow another pill..." That just gets on my nerves so fast. If I could get on with my life without having to take medicine, you bet I would.

I've thought about my medicine being part of my problem. Until my stepmom was talking to Kelly at Christmas and told him I was just like my dad. He's a great guy but not really good at showing outward affection. I could literally count how many times I've been hugged by him on one hand. That's not good for being his daughter for almost 34 yrs.

As far as friends go...I only had one in town. After I had #2 (Kayla) we haven't done anything together. Her daughter is in high school and mine are in grade school. Just don't have much in common. My only friends are you guys on this website. Before 3fc, I was probably more of a basketcase. It's hard to function without any adult companionship. I do things with my mom occasionally, usually just visiting. My sister's occasionally but they are around the same age so they spend most of their time together. I really don't have much of a support system here. The weight loss issues I handle on my own. Same with the RA. DH sees but I don't think he totally grasps what a bad day with RA is like.

You know-it's funny. I always swore my mom was mean and my stepdad was a jerk ( he was in alot of ways) but I was a terror in school. I can look back and seriously ask my mom how she handled me. I really feel bad for alot of the things I did. Someday Tiana will know. She threatens to live with her dad all the time now, when it gets too much for her. I told her that may be a decision she would regret later. Her dad is nice and loves her but he isn't a "good" father. She has asthma and still he smokes in his house with her. He's an acoholic...he's on parole so he hasn't drank in 3 yrs. but his parole is up in August. He is a convicted felon (felony assault). And he is married to a former meth addict he met in treatment. I'm so glad I have a great guy now. Anyhow...I think that is partly why dh picks on Tiana so much. It's such a long story but my ex, my current dh, and I all used to do everything together. Kelly was there even when Tiana was born. I think it eats at him knowing Tiana's dad as good as he does. Anyhow, my ex asked for a divorce in 1997 and was remarried right after that. Anyhow Kelly and I got married in 1999. I hope you don't think that is too strange. Maybe someday soon I'll leave you a PM and tell you all that's happened.
Tomorrow my mom has her hysterectomy. She got diagnosed with uterine cancer last week and they want to do the surgery right away. I pray that all goes well with her. I'm home today with 2 sick kids. Kelly is taking the day off tomorrow so that I can go be with my mom. Gotta get some bleach in the whites...Thanks for listening to my rambling and caring about me.

I had a long talk with God last night about your condition, my mom, my husband, and what to do with my little ones.

~chris

Thanks Chris...

I appreciate the prayers. I will be praying for your mom tomorrow. I'm sure she will come through the surgery well, & everything will be fine. It's great of your DH to stay home tomorrow to give you opportunity to be with her.

I don't think your situation concerning you & your marriage is strange, at all. Of course, any time you want to pm & tell me anything, it's fine. Don't worry about what I'll think. I'll just be your friend.

Speaking of friends. I have friends, especially being at the TV Station. Connie, the manager & I are very close. I just don't have anyone that I can confide in. As much as I love Connie, she is the type of person that gets the subject on her, before I can finish what I'm saying. I know she's concerned...just doesn't give me the "time to listen to me" that I need. Everything that happens to her is worse, & more important than anyone else. I know she doesn't realize it, & like I said, I do love her.

I know you're busy today. Take care of those little ones that are sick....& YOURSELF!

Let us know how your mom's surgery turns out.
Charlotte

Chris- I hope the news concerning your mom after surgery was not too bad.. Keep well yourself.. You are going to need all your energy..When kids are small they will do a lot of things that hurt ,just to get attention.. They usually outgrow those things.
Angel-What would some friends do without a friend like you.. You seem to shoullder a lot. It seems that with all you have in health problems. home repair,etc that you are named right. You must have a Angel on your shoulder..
Hello everybody...Joanne

I wrote a whole post last night and forgot to hit submit....I was so tired.

Anyhow my mom's surgery went longer than expected and her time in recovery was extra-long too. THey took everything out, including lymph nodes. They have to biopsy everything they took out and then if any of the lymph nodes have cancer, she will have to follow up with radiation or chemotherapy. She is in so much pain. It hurts to see her like that. They had to dig into her pelvis to get the lymph nodes so she's had alot more done than just the hysterectomy. On a scale of 1-10 for pain, she told the doctor she's at a 9. They gave her an i.v. epidural, and that wasn't even blocking the pain, so last night when I left they were getting ready to do a morphine drip on her. I just wanted to cry. I'll see her this evening when Kelly gets home and all the kids are gone. I wish I could have done the surgery for her. That my mom and I really ache for her.... I'll keep ya posted on her recovery and the biopsy results when they come back.

~chris

Charlotte-Sorry to hear about your husband's aunt. Thanks for praying for my mom. I know that the doctor made her incision from her belly button down as far as he could. My sister just called...I guess my mom is feeling better now. She says mom is relying a bit "much" on the morphine drip. Jennifer says she just pushes the buttons whenever she wants.

Well there is too much fighting going on. Gotta go...AGAIN!

~chris

Hi Chris,
Glad your mom is feeling a little better. Don't worry about the morphine drip. It will only allow her a certain amount, with a certain amount of time between doses. She can push the button all she wants! I know.....I thought I'd wear that button out, before it would stop the pain! Little by little, she'll get better. Time will just drag for you all...& her...until that happens.

From her belly button down! ouch! Mine was across. I do have a large scar from belly button up to chest, though....from hiatal hernia & gallbladder removal! I'm reeeeeeal purteee! At least, hers,is low where it can't be seen. Let us know the test results as soon as you can. I keep checking in to see if you've posted!

Love ya,
Charlotte

Charlotte,
My mom can jsut add this scar to her collection. She has an incision by her belly button and one on each of that when they took out her gall bladder and she has one about 4" long on her neck when they had to do a lung biopsy on her. She liked that one too. They numbed her nose with cocaine. That was when they were checking her for sarcoidosis. My brother has the same scar. He has sarcoidosis too. He told his students in his special ed. class (he's a spec. ed teacher) that he got it from sword swallowing. Such a weirdo...
How are you feeling today? Are you going to go the funeral or just stay home? Talk to you soon.

~chris