Hi all,

I am very conflicted about this subject and wanted to get your opinions. For years, my favorite hobby was reading magazines and cookbooks, shopping for obscure ingredients, cooking ethnic meals, and eating. I never was obese, but all of this good food and eating did eventually put an excess 20 lbs. on my small (5'2") frame. During my weight loss, I didn't engage in my hobby much because my husband in Kuwait. The only time I really cooked was for guests. Now that he is back, I have resumed kitchen duty, and am
back to thinking about food a lot. I do tend to read recipes in diet cookbooks and I read a lot about nutrition. In some ways, I think that my cooking skills and knowledge help me make very tasty healthy foods. On the other hand, I'm not sure that having food as a hobby is very mentally healthy. I'm wondering if maintenance would be easier if I got healthy takeout more often and reduced the kitchen and cookbook time.

Any thoughts?

Food was/is my primary hobby, and I have been seriously overweight all my life. Just like you, I loved reading cookbooks, food articles in newspapers and magazines, watching cooking TV shows, talking about food and cooking, cooking, shopping for food, eating in restaurants, and on and on. I was/am a foodie, plain and simple.

The fact is that any hobby can be taken to extremes. Food as a hobby per se is no more unhealthy than sports or video games or woodworking. But, when you are unable to control it, that's when it's a problem. That was me. Over the last 3 or 4 years I have learned to indulge selectively, to use my skills to make healthy food, enjoy learning about new foods or cooking techniques as a more intellectual exercise. I live by myself so I don't have the impetus to cook a great deal other than "feed myself" meals. Still, if I decide I want to cook something nice for myself or for others I can. The difference is that I do it once every few months rather than spending the entire weekend cooking and gorging.

I subscribe to Cooking Light magazine, and participate on their very active bulletin board. There are lots of people there who are healthy, who practice foodieism (to coin a word) in moderation. They are ALWAYS cooking, reading recipes, shopping for fun ingredients, etc. etc. There are people there who make three meals per day from scratch, and love every minute of it! But, I would venture to say very few of them indulge to an unhealthy degree.

It's all about balance. If you eat in moderation, cook healthy meals MOST of the time, balance that good food with some exercise, etc., then why NOT enjoy food as a hobby? That's the American problem -- so many of us are unable to balance food with everything else and truly enjoy it, we either have to make ourselves gluttons or demonize food, and there's little room in the middle. It's the reason our culture is so fat. The French, the Italians, and many other cultures think of food and wine (and sex) as the main reason for living; every thing else is secondary. Yet, they're thin and we're not. How about that?

Cooking has been my passion for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine giving it up. What I've changed, though, is the kind of recipes that I look for and the kind of cooking that I do.

Try exploring new ethnic recipes. There is a lot more to Italian cooking than the typically calorie and fat laden American version of their dishes. Or, maybe vegetarian recipes. I've found some that are so good even my children don't realize they are eating vegetables. Not long ago, I wouldn't have even thought to try a recipe that didn't have some sort of cream sauce or loads of cheese, etc. even if it sounded like it might be good. It is just a matter of changing your cooking habits to suit your new, healthier lifestyle.

Also, with so many new products on the market and the variety of specialty items that most local grocery stores carry, I find that even the heaviest of recipes can be lightened up to fit my plan. Some may still be more decadent than I usually allow myself but that is what makes them and indulgence - I don't have them every week (or every month for that matter).

I certainly don't think having food as a hobby is mentally unhealthy. It is a negative relationship with food that is damaging. I used to have the notion that whatever I cooked I had to eat. I still love to bake. But there is no rule that says if I try a new triple chocolate cake recipe that I have to leave it on the counter so that I can fork it to death until it is gone. I may have one piece but then I dress up two or three pieces and take them to each of our neighbors. Or, better yet, I make that cake and invite friends and family over to share it with. I usually end up trying only a bite or two and get my real pleasure from enjoying the good company. Or, just wait until a special occasion comes up and then try out the recipe that doesn't quite fit your plan. Potlucks at work, school parties, baby or wedding showers, family get togethers, are all good options. You get to have a taste or two of the new dish but you'll likely be coming home empty handed so you don't have to worry about eating it all yourself.

Wow, good and thoughtful answers, Jawsmom and Funniegrrl!

Like all of you, I’ve always loved to cook and eat. I even worked my way through college as a cook! And I’d read cookbooks like they were novels in bed at night and drool over recipes on the Internet and make far too much food ‘for other people’ that I ended up eating … a total foodie, just like you guys.

My relationship with cooking and food has gone through a dramatic evolution as I’ve lost weight and maintained. Not deliberately, I assure you; it’s just happened this way without me giving it much thought …

When I started this LAST diet in June 2001, I initially quit cooking anything that might be the least bit tempting because I was determined that I wouldn’t cheat. After about six weeks, my family was complaining and I realized that I could stick to my eating plan regardless of what was in the house (I was REALLY motivated and the weight was coming off fast at that point ). So I went back to baking and cooking everyone’s favorites, as usual. I even made sixteen kinds of Christmas cookies that year for friends and family and survived. That continued for the rest of the year that I was losing weight – I was making the most tempting food in the world for everyone else and not eating it. I think I felt guilty about ‘being on a diet’ and didn’t want to ‘deprive’ anyone else.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see that I was obsessing over food that year just as much as in the fat days when I was eating it myself. I was still in love with food and got a lot of pleasure out of making wonderful goodies. I guess it was as close as I could get to indulging without calories.

But that degree of self-control doesn’t last, unfortunately, and once I hit goal, the food that I had been able to control myself around became too tempting. I discovered that if it was in the house, eventually I’d cave in and eat one or some. And it doesn’t take much to make the scale go up, as we know. All along, I’d been cooking healthy alternatives for myself but no one else in the family would eat them. So the next phase of my relationship with food and cooking was to try to cut back on cooking and baking for friends and family for my own sanity.

This year things have changed yet again because both kids are off at college. So it’s just DH and me most of the time. Now DH is a challenge in himself because first, he’s an extremely picky eater; second, he’s lactose-intolerant; third, he’s naturally thin; and fourth, he can't cook to save his life. So he loves his cookies and I still bake them because it’s too hard to buy anything without dairy (plus store cookies taste like crap). And Sunday morning waffles (from scratch) are a necessity to go with the NY Times. I still end up making two dinners every night – his and hers – but am trying to simplify so there’s some overlap between the two. Like – I’ll make us both fish and veggies but add pasta for him. But there’s still a lot of dinners that he wants (spaghetti carbonara, Pad Thai) that have no healthy equivalents for me so often we’re eating two totally different dinners.

But DH and I are both OK with how things are now. I'm eating my food and he gets what he likes and for the most part, it's not too tempting to me. Overall, the amount of time I spend cooking is way down and I’m not interested in trying new recipes or reading cookbooks or food web sites. I’m not sure why; it just isn’t a source of pleasure any longer.

Looking back over the past four years, I seem to have lost my love of and obsession with cooking. I went from loving to cook and eat goodies --> to loving to cook goodies --> to loving to cook (but not goodies) --> to being indifferent about cooking. I still can pull off a holiday meal to die for, but cooking it isn’t really FUN any more. It's just another chore. When I look at Fitday, my ‘recent foods’ list is very short and boring but I'm satisfied with what I eat. It doesn't bother me if I eat plain old egg whites and oatmeal every morning because it tastes OK and fills me up. I’m really not sure what it all means – perhaps that I’m finally thinking of food as fuel and not as a source of pleasure any more? Maybe my life is so busy with other activities that I don't have time for food to be a hobby the way it used to be? It's very weird for someone who had food as a hobby her whole life.

I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with food as a hobby so long as it doesn’t end up sabotaging you. Funniegrrl said it very well – it’s all about balance. Looking back, I know that my obsession with cooking while I was losing weight was just my misplaced desire to still be eating treats. It definitely wasn’t balanced but I’ve moved beyond that stage. These days I certainly don’t demonize food but it’s just not fun the way it used to be.

Meg that's very interesting that you have become indifferent. I don't think there's any good/bad value there, just interesting that things have turned out that way for you. I might venture to guess that getting older and having the kids out of the house also plays a part. My mother lived for cooking (rich Southern food at that!), but as she's gotten older and it's just her and my father in the house, she's less and less interested. She still watches cooking shows and clips recipes, but in terms of actually cooking stuff, she doesn't do much any more.

One thing I didn't mention in my previous response is that my path was somewhat different. One of the realizations I had as I prepared to start this last diet was that yes, food was a hobby, and it was a hobby I was going to have to give up. I didn't know if I'd be giving it up temporarily or permanently, but I felt SO weak and shakey about this final attempt that I was determined to do everything I could to keep temptation at bay. That involved a LOT of things, including skipping the office Christmas party, not eating in a restaurant for the first 3 or 4 months on the program, etc. But what it also involved was ignoring the whole foodie world. I would not look at food magazines, read the food section in the paper, watch food shows, etc. My cookbooks were verbotten. I had to supplement my Jenny Craig food with lots of extras -- vegetables and fruits and some protein & starch exchanges -- but I kept it REALLY simple and did not let myself think about "creative" approaches. That was such a dangerous path for me because it just set off cravings and feelings of deprivation. It was part of my "whatever works" motto, and that meant cutting myself off from this very important period of my life while I regained my bearings and built up some mental and spiritual strength.

That was a CRUCIAL exercise for me. As a compulsive overeater, I had to go through a withdrawal period and "get sober" so to speak. Of course that isn't true for everyone, but it was for me. After about 6 months I started to test the waters -- eating out very carefully every now and then, buying a Jenny Craig cookbook. Starting to play with my food, so to speak -- morphing the JC entrees, doing more interesting things with vegetables. Now my life is as I've described above. I cook new recipes, but they are all low-fat, healthy, etc. I do as jawsmom, and if I really really want some goodie -- both the eating and the baking -- I'll make a batch, eat one, then take the rest to the office. I go out on most Saturday nights to a high-end restaurant and have wine and "whatever I want" -- including dessert -- but small portions, half portions, an appetizer as an entree, etc. Right now I'm going to a wine tasting class on Tues nights where we have 5 2-oz flights as samples, then eat dinner with a 3rd glass of wine at this find dining restaurant. So, I'm back in foodie mode, but with an ENTIRELY different attitude and with much more balance and moderation. The key between now and, say, the first year or two of my program is that having one of these great dinners or baking that batch of brownies is not only how much I eat and how frequently I do it, but the fact that these treats aren't free-for-alls and don't trigger cravings or binges. I still have to be careful, and there are times when I still feel vulnerable and I go back to abstinence mode for a bit. But, I am very aware of all of this and am careful about monitoring.

Just keep in mind, moderation and balance, balance and moderation. You can enjoy all that life has to offer, but do what's right for you in the short term and rebuild from there.

Interesting discussion....I was a true foodie in my before life also: The Queen of the Chocolate Torte. I even have a portfolio of all my creations I also was passionate about making lavish meal events, ran a gourmet dinner club, and occasionally did catering. And I ate everything I made. Vacations were planned around restaraunts or food regions of the world...you get the picture

Now, my approach is much more like Meg's with the exception that I still have one child at home, but I don't always cook two meals. My son and husband get extras: mashed potatoes last night, sometimes pasta, but more often they just eat what I eat but with condiments and an extra starch. Luckily, they aren't all that picky and I'm trying to train both of them to eat healthier. When they really want something I won't eat, I'll make it or we (or they) will go out. My husband is finding that he is less and less interested in eating junk food, so it's only my 14 yr old son who thinks that he is suffering.

I really have NO interest in cooking, looking at recipes or even thinking about food. I want to eat, but I really don't want to be bothered with the process any more. I still have shelves full of cookbooks and back issues of Saveur, Bon Appetit and Gourmet, but I can't remember the last time I actually pulled one off the shelf. It's all become just a big chore. On Sundays, I usually cook a few big batches of portionable, freezable food, and then augment that with stir fries and salads throughout the week.

I don't know if the interest will ever come back. Just as well if it doesn't

Mel

Thanks to everyone that responded. I am still trying to figure maintenance out, and I think my food obsession is part of that process. Meg's statements were enlightening. I am not cooking things that I can't eat, but I am certainly contemplating cooking and eating more than I could ever eat in a lifetime. Maybe I am mourning my old oblivious self who did not know the food facts and certainly had not faced them!

Hopefully, I will settle into some routines that will end my constant thinking about what I will eat or make in the future.

I did skip the holiday baking this year and have simplified my breakfast routine (oatmeal, a little fruit, cottage cheese, and a few nuts). Small steps . . .

i absolutely love food, cooking and eating. i have found that the more weight i lose and the more concious i became of what i am putting into my body, the better my cooking skills become, and the healthier my meals become.

i certainly don't think that healthy takeout is better for you than cooking your own food. i love to cook because i have the ultimate control over what goes into it. i can be as maticulous as i want about counting calories (or not ).

I also feel that when i cook a meal, i enjoy it more. i eat more slowly, i critique what could have been done better, and i recreate recipes in my mind.

i think people spending less and less time in the kitchen contributes to our more-better-faster culture. spending time in the kitchen is almost like a meditation for me. i get to slow down for an hour or two, focus on the food that i am putting into my body, listen to some music, drink some good wine, and spend time with my husband. we don't have children yet, and i am going to school and working, so i have a more flexible schedule that allows me to do this. my time spent in the kitchen is something that i hope i am able to have forever though.

i wish people would spned more time in the kitchen enjoying good fresh food. it seems to me more and more that what is considered food is really just crap.


ps. my husband is tha baker in the family and i find it an absolute necessity to stay out of the kitchen while he is baking. thats a temptation i can't fight.

I don't think any of us said we ate "take out", healthy or otherwise. I cook every meal that I or my family eats. I just don't spend hours planning and cooking seven course extravaganzas anymore. It is still fresh, tastey, and healthy. Because I was such a good cook and have cooked for so long, I can make just about anything without a recipe, which is why I haven't pulled out a book or magazine in ages. It doesn't take hours in the kitchen to come up with a healthy meal based on fresh ingredients. As a working mother, I don't have those hours to spend in the kitchen anyway.

Mel

We NEVER eat takeout either (except for sushi once in a blue moon), for a whole bunch of reasons: it's expensive, DH is lactose-intolerant (which makes eating out problematic), and what I make tastes much better (and is a whole lot healthier) than anything we can take out. If I'm going to spend $$ for a restaurant meal, I want to dress up, sit at a lovely table, and be served wonderful food better than I can make at home. Nothing makes me feel cheated more than anticipating a special meal and then realizing that I could have done it better myself.

I honestly don't know why I've lost interest in cooking - it certainly wasn't intentional. Don't get me wrong - I still cook great dinners for DH (at least he thinks I'm the best cook in the world ). But now it's just another one of the daily chores, like doing the laundry or cleaning the bathroom. The act of cooking isn't fun any more; I just do it to get it done.

But my falling out of love with cooking makes maintenance a little easier for me since I spend less time thinking about food, shopping for it, and dealing with it. Funniegrrl's right - it's all about moderation and balance and I really admire those of you who can successfully balance the art of cooking with maintenance. It IS a lovely art and part of gracious living. My brain, for inexplicable reasons, has just decided it would rather focus on other things than food. I have to admit that I'm kind of grateful since I've never really mastered being a particularly balanced or moderate person.

i was only refering to laura's comment about the healthy take out vs. cooking. maybe i misread.

oooo i feel the same way. thats why i rarely eat out any more. i feel cheated more often than not.

My two cents (FWIW of course...)

Living in the Bay Area, with our "gourmet" culture (I think San Francisco has consistently placed at or near the top of the list of "best food town" or whatever they call it, for years now - it's not just the City itself but pretty much the entire area) it's kind of hard NOT to be surrounded by great food.

There's a thread in one of the other forums here (either "Success" or "Support" - I don't recall right now) where 'diet food' in restaurants was discussed. I offered my two cents, but after reading the responses, realized that we have it really, really good here as far as getting healthy AND delicious choices goes - not only at restaurants but also buying groceries at our local supermarkets.

Anyway, cooking has always been kind of 'eh' for me. Sometimes I really really really want to cook, other times it's 'eh'. Of course, as Funniegirl stated, I'm one of the 'lucky ones' who is in the category of not really having to worry about cooking for anyone other than my husband, who doesn't care if I make dinner or we grab something 'to go'. (not fast food, but making a chicken breast salad at Draeger's salad bar, or picking up something at Sushi Sam's or the taqueria - both of which are within walking distance and have a LOT of very healthy, acceptable choices).

These days, it's definitely a time thing for the most part - I actually end up opting for the salad bar at least 3 evenings a week...and during the weekends, when theoretically I could be cooking up a bunch of stuff for the upcoming week, I have a whole lotta other stuff to do - there barely seems to be enough hours in the day

Anyway - I think if you enjoy cooking - it doesn't mean you have to EAT everything you make. I know quite a few people who enjoy cooking as an art - looking for recipes, wandering around the Farmer's Market or the produce section and finding some interesting new ingredient they haven't tried - going to cooking classes (my local store, Draeger's, has some wonderful classes - check 'em out here! ) and so on. For many of these people, the art is in the preparation and the presentation, and watching others enjoy the results of their creativity...KWIM?

I still like to cook, and reading about food, esp in the "good" magazines is still a pleasure. I try to keep my healthy cooking interesting, and like whoever said it above, I can make really good things - and good for us - without a recipe from long years of reading recipes. Being in Alaska is a drawback in the food department. Our produce especially is definitely lower in quality and selection that other places. DH and I do grow a garden, but there too we are limited in what we can grow, but what we can is certainly delightful! Our restaurant selections in our small town are slim to none - lots of fast food, an Italian place, a Mexican place, a CHinese place and the local hotel coffee shop - so eating out is not a frequent occurrence. DH really is not a fan of eating out anyway - he hates sitting and waiting, and being decidedly "frugal" he thinks most places are overpriced. I enjoy going out and having something really good that I can't/won't make for myself.