I don't think I can do this...maybe I'm just meant to look the way I do! My body feels like it's fighting me all the time.

When I walk, my knees hurt, my shin muscles ache, my stupid Sciatic nerve acts up and I don't think I'm going fast enough. I have to fight the urge to go into the kitchen ALL DAY when I'm home with my son, and even though I feel like I've made big changes, when I get it all entered on Fitday it comes out to like 1800-1900. I know it's way down from where I was, but from the sounds of what all of you are doing it's still way too high. I was reading that post about how many calories everyone eats, and it really bummed me out. I thought that I was doing okay, but it looks like I'm not excercising enough and I'm still eating too much. Why bother going through all this if I'm just going to stay the same? It seems like you have to kill yourself everyday for the rest of your life to get where you want to be. Well, I can't do it!

I'm bored with the foods I have, and it's so irritating to make seperate meals for me and my husband.

I feel so discouraged and so stuck...I can't stay the weight I am because I can't even work a full shift at the restaurant without feeling like my body's going to fall apart and I know it's because I weigh too much - it's ruining my body. Hurts to excercise a lot of the time, but it's literally killing me to be fat.

I don't know ladies...I think you all must be made of stronger stuff than I am, I'm really on the verge of being done right now and accepting my fate of overweight suburban mom with stupid joint pain.

yer calorie range is FINE....

my suggested calorie range to LOSE WEIGHT because I weigh 251 is 2100 calories. I eat 1500 by choice but you are definately eating within' range.

I d unno what to say about the joint pain...I mean, is it possible to pop a few aleve before you excersize to help???

also, about yer food choices, there are plenty of good things you can eat....I love to make chinese to spice things up, using lots of steamed veggies instead of rice and different sauces that I buy at the ethnic section of the grocery store....

there's no reason yer husband can't eat the same food you do. It wouldn't kill him to eat more healthy. You can make plenty of healthy/tasty foods... pm me sometime.

don't give up!

Don't give up!! Sounds like you need some minor changes! I don't count cals. (I'm really bad at it)! There are so many options!!! I have a bad time w/making more than one dinner some nights, and I work full time to boot! I make a sweet & sour lentil cassarole, my DH calls it coffe cassarole he and the kids don't care for it! I usually make it and take it for lunch! I always over cook for myself! I usually have problems fighting the snack thing and having time to cook! I eat alot of leftovers (I prefer follow low-fat) and there alot of foods that the family will eat. I make turkey chili, no body knows the differnce! YOU have tons of options, fitness for example don't do so much! start slow, I know people that work out sitting down because they have too much pain. The more you lose the easier it gets! And remember what works for everybody else may not work for you! PM any time, I'll be happy to share food ideas and just shoot the breeze!

The amount of calories is going to vary with the individual. I'm keeping mine around 1,300 right now, but when I first started, I didn't even count them. Knowing what I do now about calories, I would guess that I had around 2,000 calories a day back then. As long as you're eating the right kinds of foods and doing some type of exercise, you should still lose weight. It will be a slow process, but you won't have to starve or hurt yourself.

First off, you can cook your meals on the weekend and freeze portions. Or, you can even cook for you and hour husband and get him to eat healthy if he will. Like, substituting whole wheat pasta for the fattening pasta. See what he thinks of it. If he won't touch it, eat the same meals, but have your healthier version. If it's pizza night for him, pick you up a low carb, soy cheese, veggie pizza or something. Make it feel as if you're right there with him having the same meals together. If you can handle a taste test, eat your dinner, and just taste what he's having, so you don't feel as if you're completely missing out.

Secondly, take it easy on exercise. I do an hour or more a day of exercise...now. But when I started, I just walked one mile a day. And I walked it normally...slowly. I increased my speed over time, then began adding in other exercises and increasing the distance. But the walk alone was more than enough starting out. Even break it up and walk a little here and there throughout the day. But if you're hurting, you could be overdoing it.

It's not that anyone's made of stronger stuff. It's that some people have found ways that work for them. If it's not working for you, that means it's time for you to experiment with some other ideas. Try a different exercise approach and a different approach on eating. If you're doing low fat and don't like the food choices, maybe you're better suited to low carb and vice versa.

Thanks for the input, I feel a little more confident today. I'm realizing that I'm one of those all or nothing type people, I feel like I'm failing if I'm not doing it perfectly or at the highest level. I need to learn to do well wherever I'm at!

Thanks for all the advice, I think I will work harder at trying to eat better in a general sense instead of counting each minute detail, at least for now.

Maybe if I can get just one thing accomplished at a time (working out every day, drinking enough water every day, etc.) I can go back to a stricter diet. But for now, I think I need to be a little nicer to myself and be proud of what I am doing instead of being mad at what I'm doing "wrong".

I appreciate all your encouragement, sometimes we all just need to hear a little "you can do it!!" from the peanut gallery.

Thanks, ladies...Hope

I think you've been given some incredible advise. Don't compare yourself to others - what works for them may not be right for you. If it makes you feel better, I also started at a much higher calorie intake than I currently use. I had a "baby step" mentality. What kept me motivated though was that even if I didn't lose weight it was a step in the right direction. And guess what? When I'd lost a couple of lbs THAT is when I gained confidence and began to more aggressively reduce calories.

As for the exercise, I know how you feel. I had knee surgery in college and it never really bothered me. But as I put on the pounds I began having trouble. Even low impact exercise was difficult so I couldn't jump right into it like I wanted too. But, after shedding a few pounds I noticed a marked difference. My knee still hurt some but not nearly as much. I was able to incorporate a little walking, etc. Then, a few more pounds came off and it really felt better. It stopped creaking and I could walk at a brisk pace without pain. It won't take but a few pounds before you notice the physical difference. If not how you look then how you feel.

As for making seperate dinners for the family, I've found that just about all of our favorite meals can be adapted as a healthier version and if I don't tell them nobody even notices. If my family requests something that can't be changed much then I resolve to eat a smaller portion. It helps to drink some water and have a healthy snack about 15 minutes before sititng down to eat. If it is something I don't think I can control myself with then I skip it all together and pop in a Lean Cusine and eat at the table with everyone else. It is rare for that to happen so I don't mind.

Don't give up. You are in good company. Weight loss is a struggle for anyone who tries it. But you have to keep going to find the plan that works for you and that you can live with. No one approach is right so stick with what your are doing if you are happy with that for now and tweak it as you need to. YOU CAN DO IT!

Your calorie range is fine, you do not want to ever drop your calories below your resting metabolic rate. Too many "diets" which there are none that I recommend cut calories too low and muscle is lost with the end result is that you end up fatter. Be patient and persistent! You should get your bodyfat tested and I'm not sure what kind of workout program you are on but I highly recommend weight training. I would be happy to help you with recommendations on rep ranges etc to use for your particular scenario. Thirty minutes three times a week would be fantastic and will speed your weight loss.

I have a friend who is a coach that may be able to offer some advise as well, he lost 100 lbs in 8 months weight training and making dietary changes, of course it is easier for guys. Darn them anyway.

He has a great site at stopbeingoverweight.com

Do not give up though, you can do it!

MNmamma-what is your current weight, if you don't mind me asking? The calories that you should consume each day depend on your current weight and activity level-but should never go below 1200 a day-or you risk slowing your metabolism.

If you are having trouble with being hungry and overeating all of the time-I suggest that you snack on very low calorie foods for a while-things that are very filling but low in calories-so you are more "full". Oatmeal and most fruits fall into this category. A serving of oatmeal and a serving of dry cereal can be pretty cloese calorie wise-but the oatmeal feels more filling for most people. You can have a 160 calorie granola bar...or you can have two 80 calorie small apples-which take longer to eat, and take up more room in your stomach. Tips like this may help you beat the "hungries".

I do not cook separately for my family. I cook a lean protein like chicken breast on the grill...or something like that-and I may cook two side dishes-one a potato or something that they like, and a vegetable. Everyone will have a serving of both sides...except I will have a double serving of the veggies for less calories.

You don't have to start out "killing yourself" with exercise. You have to work within your current fitness level-and if you continue to do that...then your fitness level will increase and you will be able to do more.
For instance-if you are really overweight and really out of shape to where you can't hardly exercise at all without discomfort, and plan on using a bike/treadmill/eliptical/walk outdoors etc. for exercise-do 5 minutes every day for a week. Next week increase it to 7 minutes a day. The next week increase it to 10 minutes a day. You will be working up slowly in fitness level-and as you start to lose a few pounds from your diet-the exercise will become easier and easier to accomplish.

If you do something like Walk Away The Pounds...then start with the 1 mile for a few weeks...then the next few weeks alternate the 1 and 2 mile videos...then the next few weeks do the 2 mile...then alternate the 2 and 3 mile...and so on. Increase your fitness little by little.

If you are really out of shape and very overweight you cannot expect to immediately be able to do a 30-40 minute brisk walk and an hour of strength training right at first.

You have to respect your current fitness level and work within that when you first start.

If you are currently over 200 pounds-then 1800-1900 calories is a fine range to be in for weight loss.

Hi hang in there weall now where you are coming from. To lose my weight I went to weight watchers I did reach my goal but have since put some back on and am now wori\king to get it back off. I'm not attending meeting now and it seems much ahrder doing it on my own but that is why I come here so I'm not alone. I count points and not calories that is how I lost the 87lbs with ww so I know I can do it. I usually do not make seperate meals for my family we all eat the same unless it is something like sausage they just don't like the turkey ones but I do. We have pretty much cut out red meat in our diet my husband and one daughter get their red meat fix with burgers and meat pies and my son will eat vegie burgers and I have chicken burgers that is the only time things get real different but hey they are just bugers and they cook the same way. We all eat ery low fat, my daughter we have to watch because she is a rail as it is so she has high fat snacks to keep her weight on but other then that she eats healthy.
I understand the knee pain I had 21 surgeries on mine over the years those limiting my exercise. So as I was losing the weight I started walking a little more each day I added 1 block everyday and picked up the pase just a little. I then joined a gym and got a trainer, my program had to be geared for my legs and we had to do some experimenting with it. I finally went to a sports medicine doctor and found out the a few of my exercises were not that great for my legs and we changed them. Now my legs feel great. I recently read on here about the book Thin For Life so I went out a bought it and I'm glad I did because they give great advice and you learn that we all have our own way of losing weight and we have to understand that it isn't going to come off overnight. When I puchased the book I also got one of Leslie Sansone's walking DVD, I love it, it takes me 1/2 hr to do and the time just flies by and because it is low impact it doesn't bother my knees, I got the one for those of us who are over forty, I will be 47 in a few weeks and since I have lost my weight I sure don't feel like it I feel like I'm 37.
You can do this even if it means making one small change everyday, after all it will make you fell better about yourself and improve your health. Not only have my legs improved but I no longer take high blood pressure medication and that is why I'm so determined to take back off what I put on because I don't want to go back there again. Don't play the numbers game with yourself, keeping an eye on the scale is a good thing but it can become a frustration as well, even if you are down only a 1/2lb you are winning the next week it my show more. Good luck and we are all here for you.

Wow - thank you all so much for your encouragement! It does help me, I want you to know.

Aphil, I am about 230 (somewhere in there, I'm not sure since I don't have a scale) and 5'6". Most of my weight is in my hips and thighs, then in my arms. I'm making a real effort to walk everyday, and lately it has been about 35 min at somewhere between 3.0 and 3.2. If I'm feeling very motivated I get a little jog in there for a minute or two, but that's rare .

I know I'm doing better than I was before I started re-thinking the way I lived...I just get so mad that I'm here, this heavy and out of shape. It makes me want to lose it as fast as I can, and then when I see myself not working as hard as I think I should be I get very discouraged. I find myself thinking that I should just work through the pain, but I need to be more careful than that I think.

I bought some Oreo crisps, and granola bars, etc., but honestly I think they just keep me in the habit of grazing all day. Better than binging on real ice cream and candy though! I think I just need to work harder at using new recipes, I'm getting pretty tired of grilled chix salad.

I'm just going to keep going, I guess, what other choice do I have? To keep getting fatter and more unhealthy? No, I will keep trying to walk everyday and take each meal as it comes. And try to be nicer to myself when I fall a little ways.

Thanks again for the support, I'll read it when I start to lose hope again!

AZ, I wanted to talk to you mroe about weight training.
I know it's important because muscle burns fat, but I don't belong to a gym and I really don;t have the money to do anything like that.
Right now I have little 3 lb weights that I've been using to do bicep curls and chest flys on my stability ball, but I know it's not enough.

What can I do at home?

I've been doing sit ups and push ups on the ball, lunges - but those kill my knees, but the small weights are all I've been using otherwise.

Any thoughts? I could pick up some heavier weights if you can give me advise on what excercises to do with them.

Thanks! Hope

If you want to do a workout at home for beginners that incorporates your small 3 pound hand weights-you surely can. Right now I would concentrate on doing what you can do. If you go to Ebay-there are lots of great videos you can do with your hand weights:

~Hit The Spot Arms and Bust-Denise Austin
~I Want Those Arms!-Tamilee Webb
~Leslie Sansone 10 Minute Tone Up
~Get Fit Fast Upper Body-Denise Austin

These are all shorter (under 20 minute) workouts that are weighted, and perfect for a beginner starting out with light hand weights.

At your current fitness level, you do not have to go to the gym and start bodybuilding. (I am guaging this by your described fitness level, knee problems, and current state of mind right now regarding your weight, diet, and motivation)

I strength train seriously now, dance professionally, and do lots of cardio-but I started out doing a 10 minute ab video 3 days a week about 3 years ago. You have to start somewhere-and when you get into the regular habit of exercise-then you are ready to increase what you are doing. Make it a habit FIRST.

You don't have to eat grilled chicken salad all the time either...check out the low fat recipe section here-they usually have the calories listed per serving. Maybe you can find something there that sounds good that you would like to make sometime.

I know you want to be in a hurry to lose the weight-but you have to take your time. Joyce Vedral (fitness writer and exercise video maker) said in one of her books one time that we are in such a hurry to lose weight. We look in the mirror, and jump on the scale-and are in such a hurry. BUT-we were not in a hurry to get fatter when we were stuffing our faces with sweets and sitting on the couch. It takes a while to put it on...and it will take a while to take it off.

I haven't read what everyone posted but I just want to tell you that you aren't alone. I'm sure we all get discouraged. I know I do and when that happens, I'm ready to throw in the towel and bust my fridge wide open. It's just a bad day though. I have been through the pain you have too. Maybe not as bad but after I dropped even a little weight it helped. YOU CAN DO THIS!! One day at a time is my favorite motto.

Try replacing those with apples, oranges, pears, etc. And it's supposed to be better for you to have 5 or 6 small meals per day anyway.