Good morning all (12:01 am here! )!

I should be in bed sleeping, but I'm not. I'm playing online instead. I'll pay for it tomorrow.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I always sabotage(sp?) myself on the diet front. Everyday I start out with good intentions and the next thing I know I've eaten way too much. I'm up to the heighest weight I've ever been. I weigh more now than when I was pregnant. Why do I keep doing this? I've been having some honest discussions with myself and I think I know some of the answers. I'm going to use you guys as my sounding board.

First off, I know I need counseling. DH has told me numerous times that I should go. I'm scared of counseling. I'm afraid they will tell me that I need to confront my parents and I just can't do that. I'm a southern girl and you don't talk back to your parents, or speak up in any way really.

I just typed out my story and I erased it. It's very raw and emotional for me. I think eating has become my comfort. No, I know eating has become my security blanket and guard against the hurt.

Thanks for listening.

Hi All,

I'm soo excited to say that DH got the PC up and running and internet finally connected today!! WooHoo!! I'm feeling a little better today again. Still have this annoying cough, hopefully it'll be gone within a day or so. Peter's feeling a little better too, had a big fight to get him to go to sleep in his own bed last night, but he finally did and stayed there all night. It was iffy around 2AM, but he stayed! Nothing happening on the baby front. Hopefully now that my bag is pretty much packed, he'll come!

Karen, I think if you do decide to go to counseling, you should discuss the fact that you're not really comfortable confronting your parents. Maybe they can help you confront them in a non-confrontational way, KWIM? If you need to talk, you know how to reach me!

Hope everyone is enjoying their New Year's Weekend! I've gotta go get mom some drugs in a bit (I think she's getting what we have) Then I'm going bra shopping...what fun...

Happy New Year to all of you!! Sorry I haven't been around lately! Ever since I went on break for school, I have had a sinus headache and cold and not so good stuff. Yesterday I slept in until noon and went to bed at 5:30. Today I woke up at 10. I did stay up for the new year though.

Karen, I hope you work out whatever you need to work out. We are always here.

LBH, I am glad that Peter is feeling better, I hope you do too.

I will be glad when school starts again. I hate just sitting at home, doing nothing. We only have one good mall in the area and there are only so many times that you can go.

Hey Karen,
I may understand a bit of what you are going through. I had a very difficult childhood and I choose as an adult to keep myself removed from those who caused so much pain. Some would say I should confront or work through things. I know I am healthier mentally simply removed from the people/situations. I would never choose to allow certain people into my life. This is a way of protecting my mental health. I choose to no longer be dragged down. I am free.

I think the only rules are do what works for you. If you choose counseling, know that your concerns are valid and that no one can make you do anything that you don't want to do. You are in charge of you, body, mind, and heart.

You are an amazing person, a person of great worth. There are no strings attached to that.

Just checking in on Lauren!

I just got home and have been gone since last Tuesday. Yesterday we had a family triple baptism - fun. I am so ready to stay home for awhile and get this Christmas stuff away and get life back to normal . . .

however, there is still one baby to come (anytime now) and I'm supposed to go on a business trip next week Tuesday-Saturday. I don't want to go!!!

gotta run - will catch up later. Rabbit

Hello all,

I'm doing a little better emotionally. I've been doing better with eating the past two days. I'm not looking at what I'm eating right now, just trying to control the emotional responses. I'm also working on not eating because I'm bored. That's another hot point for me. Thanks for the support.

Lauren: Hey, that boy is due in two days. Start talking to him! Let him know the bag is packed and you're ready to go. Thanks for the support. I really don't want to confront my parents, well, yes I do. I just don't have the courage,partly. And partly I just want them to know that they failed to protect me as a very young child. They failed me and I want them to feel bad. Then I feel bad for wanting them to feel bad. It's a vicious cycle.

Midwife: Thanks for the support. The person who actually hurt me died 32 years ago but I live with his legacy. I live over a thousand miles away from my parents because I don't want to deal with them on a daily basis...just on their own delightful merits. Which is sad for me because that also means I'm loosing out on my brothers and grandmother. Oh well. I think I'm just having a pity party because of the holidays!

Rabbit: I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that the last baby comes before next week! Hope things settle down soon for you.

HI Karen!

One of the things i have learned in this process is that i just can't give something up (comfort foods) without having something else to replace it. that way i am less inclined to run back to the comfort foods as soon as the slightest stress pops up. the key is finding something healthier to replace food. how about writing? you seem to do that well here, so next time you are thinking about eating something unhealthy, try taking just a few minutes to write something... anything... a note to yourself, list of other things you could eat instead... or trying slowly drinking a full glass of water then waiting about 10 minutes to see if you are still hungry. one of the best things i have tried is just to take 10 minutes with a glass of tea and relax. that usually gets me refocused on the fact that food is fuel, not love. then i can **usually** convince myself to eat something healthier. after that, i am so proud of myself for doing that!

hope this helps, from someone who has been there! (i did go to counseling as well, but not for the eating issue).

dottie

Hello all,

Just wanted to say hi. I finally got out of the house today after a whole week of staying down, staying warm, drinking plenty of liquids, and so on. It felt so good to get out.

KarenK, I am glad that you are doing better. I know this time of year can be rough. A good tip is to journal, not only your thoughts and ideas but also what you are eating. I find I do much, much better if I can see what I am stuffing into my face. (Not that you do that) I also try and count calories as I journal. It makes a huge difference.

Good morning everyone,

Yesterday was our 6 year anniversary. I can't believe we've been married for 6 years. The IL's came over and kept Alex last night so we could go out. We went to Red Lobster for dinner and I was very good. I had broiled fish and only ate 1/2, only two bites of potatoe and part of a biscuit. We also went to the movies and I only had a couple handfulls of popcorn. Yeah me! We saw The Aviator and it was a very good movie. I didn't think much of Leonardo Dicaprio as an actor before this, but Wow. What a performance. If you need movie recommendations, I recommend this one!

Dottie and Lisa: Thanks so much. My problem is I know all the tricks. I know what to do, I just haven't been able to do it. Actually I think I've been increasingly depressed since Halloween. My house shows it and I've been incredibly tired/drowsy. I'm feeling more like my old self this week. I have more energy than I have in awhile. Maybe I'm coming out of my funk.

We are supposed to have bad weather today so I guess I better get going to the store before it hits. I hope everyone has a great day.

Hi all!! I am starting the New Year at 181.5. Hmmm, I had wanted to be in the high 160s...Oh well. I just wanted to write down some goals that I have. Maybe that will make me more accountable to ya'll.

1) Exercise 4-5 times per week.
2) 8 glasses of water a day or more
3) No more stinkin fast food.
4) Be careful in the evenings. This is when I tend to graze, clean my plate (and finish what is on my kids' plates)

In December I did NOT stick to any of these. I haven't lost anything since October. I need to remember how I lost from July to October, what I did, how disciplined I was. I did it once, I can do it again. I hope to be at 175 or less by February 1. I can picture the number on the scale. Now it is time to make it happen!!

Hi All,

Still here... Saw my MW yesterday and I'm just a little over 1 cm. dilated and not a bit effaced. She was gonna rupture my membranes, but since my cervix isn't ready, she didn't. Friday I go to the hospital for a non-stress test. It would be nice to have to call and cancel that because I'm in labor.

On a good note, Peter & I are both feeling much better. I've still got this incredibly annoying cough that keeps DH & I up at night, but otherwise I'm OK. Peter's still messing with his ears, I sure hope this first round of antibiotics (Amoxil) takes care of it. I wanted them to give him Omnicef, because that's what usually kicks it, but he didn't want to give him more than he needed, in case he got sick again and needed something stronger. Whatever, I don't understand Drs. logic sometimes, but I will be pretty PO'd if we have to do a second round on Augmentin or something.

Jen, good for you setting some goals. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of plan I want to follow after the baby is born.

Karen, Happy anniversary! For some reason I thought you guys got married after you started posting here...I remember seeing a wedding pic. I guess it was just before? I started posting in Feb. '99. You behaved very well, I'm impressed that you could eat PART of a biscuit!! I probably would've been happy if I ate only 1!! Glad you're feeling a little better...I know the holidays can bring out memories & depression. Trust me, I've been having lots of talks with this boy...especially today!!

Lisa, glad you got out and are feeling better!

Welcome Dottie!

Rabbit, hope you have a good (or at least productive) trip! Thanks for checking on me!

Lauren, I see you're still around. My sis is dialted 2 and is 50% thinned out (hope i said that right). She has been at 2 for a week now. Your due date is any day now, isn't it?

Baby Jayne is in the hospital with RVS. But she is doing better now. (she is almost 5 months old).

Ds is still home but only until Friday. I'll be sad to see him leave again. His break always seems to fly by.

I gained weight horribly over the holidays so I've much work to do on taking it off. After my business trip next week, I hope to get my life in order.

Rabbit

Hello all,
Since we are talking about weight goals, I have a few.
1. No more junk food - we are not making cookies or anything for a long while.
2. No ordering pizza with the office girls. I eat way more than need be.
3. Monitoring myself more regularly. - Weigh in is every Sat. morning and I am writing it down. (To be accountable to self)
4. No more night snacks - this will be hard because my parents have to do this for all the medice that they are on. (especially if dad goes low sugar)

I think that I will type this list up and post it in several different places in the house.

For those having babies, (and hopefully that will be real soon) I will be praying that it will come quickly and with as little pain and trouble as possible. Also that you have good drugs, if you choose to go that route.

Hi everyone

I am so excited today, I finally got set up at home to work after hours. I know some of you might think that I am crazy for wanting to work at home in the evenings, but it will really take a lot of pressure off of me since I can't get anything done at work during the day.

We sold our house a week after it was on the market and we close tomorrow. I am leaving Friday to take Dad home, wow, it's hard to believe he has been here a month. I have really enjoyed my time with him! He loves to watch all the sappy sad shows with me! LOL I will miss that as DH does not like to watch them.

Hope you all had a nice x-mas and new year.

I have started back to drinking tons of water daily, can't shake the sodas completely though, so cutting back. We also have a nice place to walk at our new house, and it works out to about a mile round trip. DS and I walked it 3 times last week and 2 times so far this week and today we walked it twice. If I lose that will be fine, but for now at least I feel so much better. I am really trying to think positive and get back on track with everything. With building the house last year and losing my Mom, I kinda fell off the wagon, but I am back on.

Lauren: Okay, it's time for your little one to make his appearence. Please keep us posted and good luck!

Karen: Sending good vibes your way and wish you the best with what you are dealing with.

Rabbit: You can do it!!!!!! I know you can!!!!!

Dottie: Welcome, feel free to join us.

Midwife: Good luck with your goals, they sound like good ones!

Lisa: Good luck with your goals too!

Well it's late and I need to run and get in bed so I can get up for work in the morning.

Hello to anyone I might have missed

Jackie

I just thought I would pop my head in and say a quick Hello.
Things are going ok for me, I've had a couple of rough days but things seem to be better today. I'm managing to stay on track for the most part and doing well, I've lost my first 2 pounds(which I am thrilled about by the way) and am on my way to my goal. I have also discovered that despite the fact that I felt silly at first and my muscles screamed in protest, that I'm actually enjoying exercise. I have to admit that was a bit of a shock. I have been riding the exercise bike for 30 minutes everyday and done a pilates tape (which I am fast becoming addicted too) every second day. In short apart from a really bad "diet" night last night, I'm feeling pretty good. Anyway I better go and do my housework and put these kids to bed.

Good Luck to everyone for your goals whatever they may be.

Take Care
Amity