Good Morning Everyone!

The good part of abstinence is I no longer eat my emotions, the bad part is that sometimes I want to. I called my sponsor the other morning because I truly in my heart of hearts wanted to binge And then all this stuff from my childhood started pouring out of me by the time I was done I no loner felt like eating and that I was in fact 10 years old So I am still a little tender here.

Part of me just wants to blame my body. Long ovulation and cramping cycle before the body lets itself finally go But I really need to be turning this stuff over to God. This is how it feels when you hold on, just let it go.

CJ- Welcome back!

Christy- Did I miss you or are you gone

Ellis- What ever is eating you, its okay hun sometimes it is just our time. When your ready God and all of us will be here.

Jenelle- I read what you wrote the other day and I know how you feel, but we must always keep in mide 2 things. The first you said, these ladies share experience we have all had and may share in again. We are meant to be humbled by it. The second is this is a program for those who want it, not those who need it. All things in God's time.

Sarah- hope your feeling better today girl! 9 hours! WOOOHOOO! I will trade you sometime I guess i only have 9 tommorow

Kat- Thanks for just being here girlie. How is the old DH feeling?

Angi- How are you ? and that cute little baby?

Love you all!
Miss Chris

Nothing much to say. Feeling blechy and down. I'll check in later with something to say...maybe. Long day and then class till late into the evening tonight.

Hello to everyone!

Love ya,
Christy

Good morning, girls... is this "feeling icky" week? I'm with you.
Be saying lots of prayers for all of you.

Thanks, Chris... I'm off to the Y this morning. Another "new start"?! AGAIN!?!?
You hang in there, dear girl. love and hugs...

Hi everyone! I am in the blahs as well. Still abstinent, though, so for that I am thankful.

We are wrestling with a giant freelance writing gig Dh has been offered. He would have to quit his job. We're pretty sure he could get regular assignments after that, but there is no guarantee. It makes me very nervous since I am part-time and wanting to get to no-time! But, currently, Elijah and I have insurance through my company, so we could add Dh for not too much. Anyway, tight-rope without a net is what it feels like. But it is Dh's dream come true, so we will probably do it. Prayers!

I'm in a lot of fibro pain. My back is somewhat better - this is everywhere else. So far, Elijah has been tired when I was, so we just lie down together. That is a blessing! (Another great thing about Dh's gig is that he would be at home and on bad days for my fibro, could step in.)

Ellis, I'm so proud of you for getting back on track! Chris, HUGS! I've been feeling my feelings more lately, I guess since I'm not eating them. I don't assume I know what you're going through, but I can imagine it's very painful. Christy - hugs to you and your "blechs!"

To everyone else: BLESSINGS!

Today I'm thankful for: Napping with my angel-face baby, my parents living nearby and their willingness (and joy!) to take care of Elijah, abstinence, my gentle-spirited sponsor, and Blue Stuff.

Angi, DH and I will be saying prayers for you and your DH. What a wonderful opportunity for him. But, yes... a big step for both of you to take. God will see you through this.
Do you go for massage for your fibro? I have a friend with it who goes about once every couple of weeks, and she says it releases a lot of the pain. love and hugs...

BTW. What the heck is "Blue Stuff"?!

Blue Stuff is a pain relief cream. It smells like apricots instead of that awful Ben Gay smell. It's made with Emu oil, apparently. It really works for me.

Massage hasn't helped very much - it's hard to find someone who is gentle enough. My muscles are very sensitive. Thanks Ellis for your prayers and concern! Dan came home from work early so I could go to bed.

Chris - Exactly. That's what I figured out after being such an internal b*tch about it.

My cable keeps going in and out - I wrote a nice long post but it disappeared into no where.

Anyway, basically I said I had some stuff that I was feeling poopy about, too. Stuff I need to give over to my HP because I have no control over it. And I finished my post saying it felt much better to type it to all of you.

I guess I'll share more on it tomorrow.

But I definitely want to share this meditation - how perfect is it!?

February 24 "Inner Harvest"
Hazelden Meditation Series

It is unrealistic to expect a permanent high.

Recovery from an eating disorder does not guarantee a pink-cloud existence.
We still have days when we wake up with a flat, "blah" feeling that persists
in spite of efforts to shake it.

For most of us, searching for a high was part of our problem with food.
Whether we got high from bingeing or from starving, we were trying to alter
our mood. Now that we're in recovery, we can give ourselves permission to
feel less than elated. We can remember how depressed we felt when our eating
behavior was on the crazy side, and we can appreciate how much better our
down days are now. Many of us agree that our worst days now are better than
our best days then.

When our mood is less than exuberant, we can accept that fact without trying
to manipulate our feelings with food. We no longer strive to be perpetually
up. Level is fine, and downs can be tolerated with the help of our expanding
inner resources.

*

I don't expect to be high all day today. I will let my moods ebb and flow
freely.

Hi everyone.
I read someone's post about the fact that we binge because of us wanting to get high. I think there may be some truth in that. I told my aunt this week end that I was wondering whether I had the gene for my grandfather's alcoholism!!!!! But I chose food instead of alcohol.

Hope everyone is feeling better tomorrow.

As for me I have had a 100% good day. Food and water was with in limits and did 55 minutes of exercise at the gym.

Have a good day

Kat- The meditation is PERFECT! All I really can say about my worst days is at least I haven't been eating them. Not that I haven't wanted, I have kept my sponsors plenty busy But thats why we have program tools right?

CJ- Ice cream for me has always been "getting coned"

Jenelle- I knew you knew

Angi- : Feel better lady and I think writing gratitude lists is important for focusing on the things that are right.

Ellis- I love you and instead of always thinking of restarting lets just live life in a continuation building off what we learned the moment before. Thank youfor all your kind words to me.

Christy- Girl you got me a little worried Miss Chatty Kathy. If your in too deep lets us know maybe we can help. Like I tell Miss Ellis, we don't give a crap about what your eating, we care about what's eating you. Always feel free to PM or CALL!

Sarah- Hi! How was your day!

XOXOXOXOXO to all!
Miss Chris

CeeJay...I TOTALLY agree with you re: the genetics thing. I have an aunt and an uncle who are alcoholics and another aunt who is a drug addict. I truly believe my "drug of choice" is food.