Happy April!

I’ve been at the exact wt every morning for the last 5 days.
It’s better than gaining but I can do better. Still wondering if skipping the scale a bit will help or not.

Hope everyone is doing well and have something to look foward to this week?

I’m looking foward to relaxing this weekend and I have a cosmetics class on Sunday.

I gained 5 lbs in may but I know why. I went grocery shopping today and purchased healthier food including a 2 lb container of protein powder for shakes. I'll get back under control now. Last month, I had no cash so I ate food pantry food all month.

Not much else to report.

Lisa, I hope your knee is better!
Your post reminds me- this week I was going through my cupboard and looked at expiration dates- there’s food I stocked up on when my grocery store went out of business in the fall. Now I have cereal, popcorn, and mac & cheese with Best By dates of May/June/July. I could space out trying to consume it so it doesn’t get wasted- but also I don’t want to eat popcorn and mac & cheese over healthier options with my excuse that I paid for it and don’t want to not use it.

I wish that each container was one serving- once i open a box of mac and cheese or pop a bag of popcorn, that’s multiple servings and popcorn isn’t much good after a day.. Well, we shall see how I try to alternate/ plan around consuming this stuff plus healthier foods.

Pandacupcake - could you donate some of your excess food to a food bank? Best before is also just a guideline, the food is still safe to eat for months after, it just won't taste as good. I'd eat the cereal, because it'll taste stale after but you could probably leave the dried Mac & cheese for an emergency.

Thank you very much for starting the April thread for us, PandaCupcake we tend to keep posting on the old month .

Coop, glad you had a great time in Spain!!

Lisa, glad you had the $ this month for healthier food choices for yourself yes, how is your knee? and how is the rest of you

hi to everyone else.

Not gonna lie, I am not very 'up'. The transition at work is difficult. you'd think I'd be ecstatic at teh RB not being boss anymore, but he is still in the store every day in 'consulting mode' and that is hard. The new owners have said they are so committed to supporting us, YET I STILL haven't been given 10 minutes a day to eat something. And they are finding the time somehow to drive the young dumb lying co-worker, every afternoon, to town to catch a bus. How is that fair?? I am getting bad thoughts in my head that I haen't had in a long time, I haven't had desire to self harm in a LONG time (not by cutting but by deliberately overeating OR undereating) and it is scary and bad. And I haven't cried in ..forever but I'm always on the edge now.

I am so sorry, Holly. This is a huge adjustment for you. Be kind to yourself and if you cry, then let yourself cry. Srsly. Do not try to block your feelings and take them at face value. You will be OK, I promise but change is a *****.

I tried going down on my gabapentin due to side effects but i.....well, I didn't do very well. My mood plummeted, bad. I called today, left a message for Trudy and she filled a new prescription for me, back to 800 mg tablet. I tried a 600 MG tablet, 3 X day and I felt awful. Back to my 800 MG, 3 X day. Yay. I hope to feel better by tomorrow. I'll have diarrhea but my mood will be back to normal.

I go for PT tomorrow.

I have a knee appt in 7 days, for both knees. It's time for shots in both. They are keeping me from making great strides in PT.

Panda, thank you for the April thread.

My 51st birthday is soon.

Great advice, Coop.

Miss you round these parts.

I did think about donating and had checked online but the places here are VERY picky about what types of food they accept. So for the many boxes of popcorn that have a best buy date of june I decided to throw away tomorrow- i had popcorn tonight for dinner and decided I don’t like it and it has no nutritional value.

The meusli cereal i may have occasionally.
The mac and cheese also I am keeping and that’s only 4 boxes.

Tomorrow is friday!!!

I am trying to be better.
I am trying to look forward to accomplishing some progress on my goals.
Losing weight, taking better care of myself, reducing debt.

Sometimes when I read my username I read Pancakes

Hi all
I am back posting here... again, lol. I tried to post in my regular old place at 3fc. But I am just feeling too depressed atm. I need a place where I can feel safe posting. So thanks for being here.

PandaCupcake you are studying cosmetics? Sounds great! They say that weighing in every day is not healthy. I sometimes avoid it if I think I will not like what its going to tell me I admire you for being able to have mac and cheese in the house and not eat it all. I can't keep that stuff in the house.

Lisaloveshearts Glad you have some money now to buy healthier food. Protein powder sounds good. I make a frozen lemon thing with protein powder.

Hi Coop27 nice to meet you.

Holly, after reading what you wrote, I thought it made sense that you are on the verge of crying. Sometimes tears can be healing. I hope somehow things get resolved at work in a positive way. And the new bosses take your needs into account. I have noticed lately that a lot is coming up for many people. Triggering old stuff. I hope you can cry. And someone can tell your new boss that his employees deserve to be treated well. Not in the future. But NOW.


So I have to go in a week to visit my relatives. That's a big thing for me. My very elderly mother is still cruel to me after all these years. And it still hits me in my core. One would think that by my age I could just let it roll off and know shes just mean to me. Last saturday I warned her that I weigh 7 lbs more since she last saw me. for the past many times I saw her I was very underweight. But she thought it was great She was a bit more accepting of me because of it. Her response to the news about the gain was unfortunate. I am too old to let this c*** get to me. But it did. So now I am without my food crutches. And I am downright hangry and depressed, lol. But I do feel much better in my clothes. Since I found out I had to see her, I lost more than 4 bs.

My work is to accept myself regardless of how much she rejects or hates me. That's a daunting task. Anyway, I mention this once. Just to say where I am atm. I ant to lose 2 more before next Friday. I will see how it works out. Doesn't sound likely.

Just to let people know, I lost 108 lbs over a number of years. most of my life I yoyoed. Now, I try to keep it off. Not gaining and usually not losing.

Hope you all have a great Friday. !!

Hi friends my god this place is a life saver for me

yesterday I tried to tell my husband of my feelings, and i did NOT get what I wanted to hear from him. I use the excuse that he's not a licensed therapist so he doesn't know how to structure his opinions in a good way to me...but *&^( you guys are sympathetic to me and know what to say!! To me, he is taking the side of the owner ..'they're new, give them a chance'. I took such offense to that, I've barely spoken to him for 24 hours now.

So I will do an extra hard workout soon, for those good benefits. and I'll try to keep my anger at everyone at work down.

flower...oh my gosh, I am so sorry you have to live with your mother's criticism!!! I wish that wasn't so. I guess you have lived with it for a long time and are doing what you need to, but it is not right, is it. Parents should be unconditionally supportive..yeah in a perfect world.
I am really glad you feel safe here and you are a very welcome friend and addition here, with your thoughtful comments to us!!

PandaCupcake, your stated goals are great and yes you are taking steps towards them and I love the word 'cupcake' so I always like reading your name here

Lisa I am so sorry about your poor knees, hope they are OK til you get the shots. And I hope your mood is improved today, with the medication adjustment, that's a trick thing isn't it. How are your kitties and Elvira? and are you gettting to know your neighborhood better now? thanks for your support too, I was online last night and read that crying is a good release, well if you don't do it all the time . I love my friends here, I don't talk to anyone else about feelings, you guys are all i have

Hi Coop I hope you are doing well, and your OH too

well the sun is shining here but it's 15 degrees out there, and we might get something from the clipper system this afternoon, i KNOW to expect crappy weather all through April up here but I am so very sick of hard frozen ground, ice and piles of black snow

thank you again for being here when i need you!!

weighing in daily - such a simple sounding thing but so daunting too isn't it. There was a time when I hid the scale in the garage because I was so focused on it, that was when I was at a higher weight and trying so hard to lose. Now that I'm steadily in the mid 140's range, I actually like to do it, and find it interesting to see the weird ups and downs. as long as it doesn't steadily creep up

I do admit I use it as a barometer for eating. Last night I really thought I was hungry, and was thinking 'i didn't have THAT much today, can I go downstairs and find something' but decided to weigh first. And in my head - 'if it shows under 144, then I can have something'. But it didn't - 145...so I went back to bed .

Weighing myself every day would drive me bonkers. Our bodies can go up or down 5 lbs just with water weight, it's not even giving you a true weight. I'll stick to once or twice a month weigh ins.

PT went really well today. I felt strong. That's a nice feeling.

I ate lunch and now it is zzzzzzzzz. Nap time.

Next week is my knee appt. We'll see what happens.

Flower,

The protein powder smells awful and the taste isn't great either. I'm going to have to do something else, not sure what though?

I like that. It's cute.