The people around me are putting their weigt back on

My MIL had lost 40-50 lbs on seattle sutton and she was doing so great. She went off it (very expensive) and now she is in gaining mode. I have seen her do this more than once. She sheds her weight and then she quits whatever she was doing and boom, she's gaining.

My good friend lost almost 75 lbs 2 or 3 years ago. She really changed her lifestyle, she danced every weekend, got tons of exercise and really ate lean. You could count on when Bunko was at her house everything would be lean, healthy and lowfat. She reacently had her life turned inside out. The place where she dances closed, she lost her job and now has a new one dowtown and she travels. Her routines and habits are gone and the weight is coming back!

It is so discouraging to see people lose and gain over and over again. I feel like my fate is sealed. I have never lost and kept it off. Honestly, I only know 1 person who has done so. everyone else ALWAYS gains it back, even if it's 2 or 3 years later.

What's the secret to keeping it off????

For me it is ALL mental...I had two good days..then yesterday..the big ugly fat grim repper who I named MENTAL HOGWASHER...called upon me..and I came home and ate seven cookies and a huge glass of milk...Two days of good clean smooth motivation...gone POOFFF!!!...

Keeping the weight off is a huge mind game...Even when things in life change..we need the mental amo to change with it!..

I also call it mental spiderwebs! (the best way I knew to explain to my poor DH)... .I need a big broom to sweep them all out!...If my head were clearer..then I really think I have everything else to win at this weight thing..and to keep it off!

Any suggestions on the mental battlefield ?????......

p.s. It is now 10:45..and I have not eaten anything..I'm scared to!The mind grim reeper is lurking for me..I just know it!

oh sandi. this is exactly why i had the surgery. it offered me the best chance of losing it and KEEPING IT OFF. but even so there are some absolute horror stories out there of people who've had the surgery and regained every single pound back, plus more. it's because they didn't continue to follow the rules. stats are that about 10-15% of wls patients do this.

I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THAT 10-15%!!!!

and here's the usual disclaimer: it's not the right choice for everyone, and i'm not pushng it at all.

Once we truly accept that the changes we're making aren't temporary - that reaching goal doesn't mean we can revert to our old lifestyle (unless we want to revert to our old weight), then I guess we have to treat it like all the other things in our life we MUST do to keep what we have. If we don't pay our mortgage or rent we lose our home, if we don't take our prescribed medicine we get ill, if we don't show up at work we lose our job, and if we don't keep to our healthy new lifestyle we gain back the weight - plain and simple. If we can manage to change our psychological mindset to understand that comfort eating, emotional eating and the like is just NOT an option, possibly we can find other ways to satisfy our non-nutritional needs without resorting to food.

Of course there will be "slips" - after all, once we reach goal we'll be looking so good and feeling so good and it would be so easy to tell ourselves that a few days of making up for what we missed while getting there won't be noticeable...but it's even easier for a few days to turn into a week and then into a month and before we know it we've crept back up to where we don't belong!

I know that food didn't make me fat. It was how I used food that made me fat. Maintenance for me will have to be a matter of taking control over how I use food - sure, I'm doing it now in the "diet" phase, but when I reach the maintenance stage it'll be even more difficult, but in a way I'm looking forward to the challenge because I'm at the point where there's only one person I really need to prove it to that I can do it - ME!

There's a book that someone here has mentioned before that is a compilation of interviews with people who have managed to keep weight off for long periods of time.

I know that after I lose weight, I'm applying for a job as a WW receptionist just so I can stay around the program. Plus in WW, you can still keep on going weekly without paying (I think) once you reach and maintain your lifetime goal. I'm know I'm going to need all the help and support possible so I want to surround myself with that kind of support.

NO!! That's two days of good clean motivation, and two days out of three of good healthy eating and moving. Only one day of Poofff. It doesn't negate the healthy choices you've made at all. That's part of the mental gymnastics we're all SOoooo good at that convince us to fail.

I think the book Sheila was thinking of was "Thin For Life."

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846

I'm reading it now. Savoring each chapter and thinking about it before moving to the next chapter -- not just devouring it without thought. It's a compilation of information from interviews of people who have lost weight AND KEPT IT OFF. They answer things like "What did you do differently the last time you lost weight?" ("the last time" meaning it was the time they succeeded)

Sandi hit the nail on the head, and Jill reiterated it her way:

• "she quits whatever she was doing and boom, she's gaining"
  
• "Her routines and habits are gone and the weight is coming back"
  
• "we have to treat it like all the other things in our life we MUST do to keep what we have"
  

That's why DIETS DON'T WORK! We think of "diet" as a temporary thing. LIfestyle changes work. Slowly. But surely. And they'll continue to help you as you maintain your weight loss.

Actually, Sandi, I thought this thread would depress me, but it's done the opposite.

I've lost 50 pounds. 40 of that has been gone for at least 3 years. Wow, I'd never realized that before.

Why did I keep it off?

Well, I've been thinking about my lifestyle before the weight loss and there are things that you give up for your new life (being thin). You say, "Eating half of an entire pizza is not something that can bring with me to the new life." So, I throw it out, maybe mourn it a bit but it can't be part of my life anymore.

As the weight comes off, you see things that can't be part of your new life and things that have a permanent place in your new life. Exercise will be a permanent part of my life. Hidden chocolate in my desk can't be part of my life anymore.

It really is like a butterfly shedding her cocoon, I'm shedding the parts of my fat life for a new better thin life.

Thanks Jessica...I'm 16 months in to my new life and I've been waffling over the past month or two. "I'm shedding the parts of my fat life for a new better thin life" was just what I needed to read today!

I expect that the reason that the weight comes back -- and I have lost significant weight in the past and gained it back -- is that we don't put maintaining a healthy weight very high on our list of priorities. Your friend who changed jobs, and is traveling is a really good example, Sandi.
For me, I lost a lot of weight, by eating very healthy and getting up at 5 and running a mile before work.
Then I met my husband. I we fell hard. Suddenly, staying in bed with him was much more appealing at dawn than getting up and getting dressed and going out to run. It was specially tough when I stayed at his place!
But I only struggled until I got pregnant with my daughter. Then I was perfect for my entire pregnancy. I wanted her to be healthy, and she was.
What I wasn't expecting was that I couldn't handle working with a small child -- I hated being away from her, and ate emotionally. And she cried every time I wasn't holding her in the evenings -- so I ate standing up for the first two years -- and I wasn't eating carrot sticks (there were no mini-carrots then). So I put I bunch of weight back on, and was just too discouraged to do anything about it.

Now I've time to pay attention to myself again. I wish I had re-ordered my priorities earlier, but I didn't.
Now that she's a teenager and I'm not working, I can manage my food and exercise.
I worked last week, and ate perfectly. But I was too tired to exercise. Maybe when I find a longer-term job, I can work on this.

This time, I hope I can continue.

I suppose we have to keep it off the same way we lose it, but right now I'm in "losing" mode - 20 down and 110 to go. I just taped this on my bathroom mirrior:
"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!"

Hi,

Good topic, Sandi!

My sister has lost over a 100 pounds twice and gained it back. She's on her way down again. I hope she can stay there this time. I"m scared about gaining, too.

I have posted about the book "Thin for Life" at least three times..guess no one reads my posts...there's also a follow up book called "Eating Thin for Life."

Sigh..
Sherry

the one that scared me more sandi, was the second one. your friend who really changed her life and she's letting it change back. i never want that to happen to me.

i'll always check in with you guys. you can help keep me on track, right?

maintaining is going to be scary, once i get there.

Oh boy!! This is a great thread. This is something that I've been thinking a lot about, and I don't think this is an issue that I've dealt with in my previous weight loss attempts.

I've definitely learned that I will never have a normal relationship with food. I love to eat, I know that I use food to deal with emotions, and hunger has nothing to do with it.

I know that I will always need to exercise. That just has to be a part of my every day life for the rest of my life. There's just no two ways about it. I also know that I can't go back to my old habits of eating HUGE bowls of ice cream every night, or picking up several candy bars each time I stop for gas. I hope these are habits that I've really broken.

I'm really worrying though about what a "normal" day of food will be like when I'm not trying to lose the weight. I still don't have an answer for that. I'm really worried about it too.

I suspect that, for me, the only real way to keep the weight off is to change our eating and exercise habits to what they need to be to maintain the weight I want to maintain.

That way, I'm not on a diet now, and I'm never going to be done dieting. I must simply live the way I'm supposed to, and my weight will end up being what it should be (I can guess, but heaven knows what it will really be).

This sounds so easy, and I suspect that it isn't. Because this means that I am worth putting my health at the top of my life list. Ugh! Like, what a lot of work.

I guess this means that Fettucine Alfredo at least once a week is a thing of the past.

Today, I am okay with that. Tomorrow, I'll deal with tomorrow.
___________
Sue
290/260/250/160?

I think I used to have that book thin for life. We started passing it around and it was supposed to make it's way back to me, but it never did.

Yeah sherry, if I see the post is from you...I skip right over it!! Silly Goose!!!