I am so angry all the time

  • Why can my size 2 sister and best friends eat anything they want and still be so tiny? Me? I eat all things healthy, measure food, log every bite I eat, work out regularly...then eat one bite of something indulgent and my fat body gains a pound. I get that everyone is different and I have things to be grateful for that they would want. But I am so angry that one of life's pleasures (food) seems to be something I am just not ever going to be able to enjoy. The day to day struggle makes eating a chore and ongoing disappointment. The splurges always end in regret. There is no joy in eating. Ever. And I'm so mad about it.
  • I know what you mean. It's very unfair to not be one of those naturally skinny people who have an amazing metabolism I struggle so hard to lose weight but it comes back so easily and so fast my head spins. I LOVE food so much and it is detrimental to my weight when left unchecked. I personally try not to let it control me to the point of anger and instead try to just let it go and do my best to keep moving forward
  • The trick is to build your metabolism. Which means eating healthy and exercising and keeping at it. It does take time. I am at least two years from the start of my journey, maintained for at least a year, work out every day and food does not touch me any more if I have an extravagant day/fortnight.

    But you are right, some people are more sensitive to food and I certainly was at the start of my weightloss.

    Not any more though. As long as I stick with the program.

    The difference between my size 2 friends and the old me was that they would work out every now and again and eat mostly healthy while I would stuff my face with cr@p every day, doing nothing every day, sitting on the couch every day watching TV for years.

    So little wonder they had a metabolism and I did not. And it took my body some time to adjust.

    But I have caught up now. And in most cases overtaken.

    I am the one that goes back for thirds now. Every now and again.
  • Channel the anger into exercise. That's what I do if I can't let something go.
  • Hi there. I hope this does not come across as preachy, because that is not my intention, but I've read a couple of your threads and I'm a bit concerned. I know it's frustrating to be overweight. trust me. But you need to find a way to turn your anger and negative thoughts into motivators and positive thoughts. The negativity is going to get in the way of your success. Plus, it's just no way to go through life. Life is way too short to be miserable. Is there anyone you can talk to? A counselor or a therapist? Or even joining a weight loss support group in your community where you can meet with people who are on the same path as you? I started therapy and (re)joined Weight Watchers a few months ago. That kick started me getting back on track with my weight loss and combined with other positive changes I've made in my life (volunteering, training for a half marathon, etc) has made a world of difference in my success with diet and exercise but also in my overall mood and attitude. I feel so much happier than I did 3-4 months ago, and although I still have my moments, I don't feel angry or negative very much any more.

    Please take care of yourself. Venting here is a great way to get things off your chest, but I really would recommend speaking to someone about how you are feeling or finding some in person support if you are able to. <hugs>
  • I found info about a free youtube hypnosis for food. I pasted below the 3FC link for the discussion thread.

    I do not know if this would help. But it might be worth a try. I listened to it and found it interesting. Felt holistic to me. Which I think it good. Toward the end of the thread they talk about a different kind of hypnosis. That one people have to buy. But the first one is free. That's the one that I was impressed with. I am not going to buy one.
    http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...-sessions.html
  • There is nobody that has a miracle metabolism. Naturally skinny people are just natural eaters. They are not dieters, they do not deprive themselves of food, they are not angry at food or other eaters, they do not think about chocolate unless they are eating chocolate, they do not place blame on others and they do not binge. They have a natural relationship with food and are able to eat anything they like because they follow their body's instincts to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. They do not try to trick their bodies with low carbing, low calories or any kind of restrictive diet. They eat a balanced diet without giving it too much thought and they do not feel guilty if they eat something that a dieter thinks is "bad." In fact, they do not distinguish between good and bad foods. They may understand that some foods are more and less nutritious but they do not feel any guilt for eating food that is less nutritious. I know many natural intuitive eaters and then couldn't care less what a carb is. It is guilt and diets that leads people to binging.

    We are all born with the knowledge of hunger directed eating but we lose it for various reasons such as being told when to eat and when to stop eating when we are young, or told to clean our plates. It takes years to unlearn hunger directed eating but it can be relearned, that's how I'm doing it. And it works, intuitive eating is simple and it works.
  • I agree with palestrina and other posters. I don't think we love or enjoy food any more than anyone else, but we are more likely to love and hate the food in equal measure, and to obsess over it. I think a lot of this journey is really trying to find a healthy relationship with the food we eat. We need food, it nourishes our bodies and our souls too. But for a lot of us, I know for me, it becomes the sole way of comforting ourselves. We can't always be happy but we can always take pleasure in our food, however temporary.

    I have struggled also with a sense of anger but more than ever I realize that anger is towards myself. It is the vicious cycle of self hatred that perpetuates the weight gain. It may be cliché but if we could learn to love ourselves NOW despite the fat, it would be easier to lose weight.
  • I totally agree that nobody has a miracle metabolism and that "naturally skinny" people are people who eat more naturally -- or people who simply accept that they can't have their cake and eat it, too.

    One of my clients is a glamorous woman in her 50s who has a fabulous figure. While she's not on any diet, she takes it as a given that she has to eat half of what's on her plate to keep from gaining weight. It occurred to me that what she shrugs off as an unremarkable sacrifice would strike many of us as an unfair deal.

    I don't agree that everyone enjoys food to pretty much the same degree. Observation has led me to believe that some people enjoy food MUCH more than others, and that unchecked love of food is a significant contributor to excess weight.

    F.
  • The main thing I've learned is the vast majority of people have to do the same thing to get and remain slim.

    That doesn't mean it isn't harder for some people and effortless for some.


    Just because you see a slim person eat a lot at a party or when you hang out with them doesn't mean they always eat that way. Check out the intermittent fasting thread.