So after two years of continuously gaining back all the weight I had previously lost, and getting up to my highest weight ever, I am finally taking control again. I'm eating well and exercising and the scales starting to go down. But I just feel fatter somehow. I don't know if it's just because I'm suddenly so hyper aware of the changes in my body compared to the last time I was losing weight.
Before my body just got smaller and firmer. Now my skin seems looser and my whole body just feels jigglier and cumbersome. It is just getting me down and I catch myself thinking "what's the point"?

I suppose it is to be expected after gaining a lot of weight and I have to do it for health reasons. Maybe I'm just punishing myself for letting myself gain so much weight back, done the last time I was down to 175 about two years ago, and l felt so good and looked so good. Lovely Leah just recently posted a thread related to this called "time to let go of past losses". I could relate to a lot of it.

I'm know other members have lost so much and must have dealt with this and are happy with their success, it does help to read about it and know I'm not alone, but I have just felt so down the last few days. Hopefully it will pass soon.

It gets better, and it is worth it.

I feel a bit similarly. But usually it's because when you gain a lot and reach your highest weight, it's because you don't care about your weight and you just think of your current mood when you're eating. When you start to lose weight, you're suddenly worried about a goal you want to reach and about shaping your body, so comparing those two can be really discouraging.

What I see a lot of fitblrs saying is that, at one point or another in their journey, they lose sight of doing something for their own happiness and get caught up in this weight loss obsession. So sometimes, you gotta remember to live a little! You'll get to your goal. Not now, but you should be enjoying every step of the way. Eating well and exercising should be for you to feel better, happier, with more energy, not just for a goal that's far away. It's good for now, too. So have a donut once in awhile, put a smile on when you go to the gym, don't look into the mirror when you pass it by so often. It takes awhile, but learning to enjoy this journey is the most important thing to me.

Thanks Maui and Wendy! I do think I lost sight of my reasons for doing this for a moment, which is to be healthier. I can't go back and change what is done. I'm letting the past bog me down, instead of looking to the future. I think you're right that before, even though I hated my body, I also didn't really care about it or think about it because I wasn't ready to change it yet. Change is always hard for me, positive or not.

I don't want to become obsessed with the process, this is part of why I always put the weight back on in the past. I would just get burned out with thinking about it all the time and just stop.

I think I'm gonna stop the calorie counting and just weigh myself once a week. I've lost weight enough times now that I know how to eat without calculating every bite.

Often we have less muscle after losing weight multiple times. I'm just starting....again, from the same high, and think that's going to be my situation. Plus I'm older. I have no clue what to expect this time around. How many times have I done this?

All we can do is our best.

Agreeing w/MauiKai, and adding I've been there, will probably be there again. On a similar note, I really didn't realize just how big I was before, when I see my body now it looks the way I thought I ALWAYS looked from the beginning (nearly 80 lbs. or more smaller depending which time in my life we're talking about). lol
It is pretty motivational though, because you know the only way to escape fat mountain is to hunker down and work hard.

I do need to work on building up my muscles again. I have been pretty sedentary and work a desk job so I need to increase my exercise big time. Looking for some comfy tights to keep my thighs from rubbing together and chafing but then I'm good.

Candid, I too saw myself as smaller than I really was for a long time. I hadn't really realized (or was in denial about) how I'd really lost my shape and become so lumpy lol. In my mind I was still my old hourglass shape just bigger. I think when I finally just looked at the stomach pouch starting to hang and the thighs rubbing together and the spare tire, it just threw me for a big loop and sent me in a downward spiral of self loathing.

It is what it is and I'm coming to terms with it and trying to move forward again. Thanks for the support!

This is why lifting weights and doing other types of resistance training is SO important. Your goal while losing weight should be for that weight to be FAT, so eating as much as you possibly can (carbs!) while still losing, and doing resistance training to preserve muscle mass are key components to losing fat and KEEPING it off.

It will also keep your metabolism healthier, although any period in a caloric deficit will lead to metabolic adaptations. Dieting is hard on the body and every precaution should be taken to do it as effectively and safely as possible.

1200 calorie diets with no activity aren't helping any in the long run.

OP don't get discouraged, I face some of the same issues but I understand that I have the body of a 40yr old now, it doesn't bounce back the same way. And child birth made some changes that there is no coming back from. But I can still be the best me. No need for regrets, I ate all that food that causes all this damage but regretting it now will only hold me back. Regret does not beget progress.

I don't know if this is something that is ever talked about or stressed to dieters. The diet industry focuses so much on rapid weightloss and results that nobody tells you to slow down and make sure your body is adjusting to the weightloss. I think often it is much healthier to stay in the overweight range than it is to yoyo up and down with restrictive diets.

Our bodies have many needs. Sleep, activity, relaxation, laughter, intimacy and nutritional needs. They are all equally important and an imbalance creates chaos.

I have to second weight training. It makes you feel like a badass and helps elevate the mood. At least it did for me.
However, take progress pics even if you hate pics. Because it helps through the scale plateaus.

I woke up this morning in a lot better mood than I was in this weekend! For the past three days I was just all doom and gloom for some reason. It didn't help that I just stayed in my house with the blinds drawn and just moped around and watched tv and slept. I just felt hopeless. I don't think it had to do with my weight per se, but since that has been foremost on my mind lately, that is what I felt most hopeless about.

Reading all your replies and just reading and responding on this forum was such a help. Finally yesterday afternoon I made myself get up and shower, and went to my grandmother's house for supper. I felt instantly better just getting out of the house. Also, I had been having some problems with side effects of a new birth control I was taking. I stopped taking it Saturday morning and I feel better already. It was causing me to retain water and my hands and feet were swelling and getting numb at night, so I slept horribly. I slept like a baby last night it was so nice. Gonna call my gyno this morning let her know, but that pill was not for me.

I did eat some crappy things this weekend but all in all I didn't really do too bad. Mostly because I had no junk food in the house, so I didn't have anything to binge on except carrots lol. I did eat an entire bag of sweet and hot beef jerky though, eh...it could have been much worse. I'm really out of shape right now and haven't been doing much more than walking for exercise right now. Gonna start doing some exercises with free weights (3 & 5 lbs to get started building my muscle back up. Also really need to work on my core. I don't have a gym membership right now, but I have gone to the gym using a guest pass. I have used the treadmill alot. Tried the elliptical but my core is so weak I couldn't maintain the position. Cardio wise I feel strong, my muscles just can't keep up. Once I get my own membership I can get a consultation with a trainer to get started. For now, I am going to keep walking and doing the free weights and some core and isometric type exercised to get started.

Just remember that you are stronger than you think you are. 3-5 lb weights aren't going to do much for you in the long run, so make sure that you are progressing out of that range and not just staying where it is comfortable.

Your PURSE weighs more than that.

I tell my clients that their goal is to increase either reps, weight, or both EVERY week.

Every week for how long? Obviously there has to be a cap somewhere.

Echoing the exercise point! It's good for the body to remember that the muscle is needed.

I am not much of a weight trainer, but I'd happily recommend pole walking. It doesn't feel rough and is gentle for the joints, but without realizing it I have actually gained some muscles in my arms doing it. The surprise! Also good for the neck&shoulders if you pay attention to your posture. Perfect for someone like me who spends too much time sitting on the computer.

I totally get where you are coming from. This time around I feel bigger than I was at my current weight. By that I mean that I fit into all my old clothes from when I go to my smallest before. I am only a few pounds away from that weight but my body feels flabbier and bigger than the first time around.
Which is kind of funny because I have done a lot more muscle training than the first time. The first time was all cardio. This time it's cardio and weights. I have more definition than the first time, I just feel bigger.

But that's only on the bad days. Most days I put pictures side by side to remind myself of the progress. That helps A LOT! I think this is a battle with my self esteem and not being disappointed that I have to do this again. If I forget last time and remember how far I've come this time, then I feel really good.