Hi all,

In the last couple months I've lost about 15 lbs., but this week I'm struggling with something that always seems to happen to me.

With my weight loss, I need to keep myself on a COMPLETELY strict plan, and the MOMENT I stray, I gain weight. It's just so ridiculously frustrating to me that I can't enjoy even one night out, without ruining my whole week's accomplishments.

And I'm not talking about a night out binging on McDonald's, just a few drinks, 3 tops, and maybe one meal that isn't so healthy followed by dessert.

Twice so far in the last few months, I have tried giving myself a night out with friends, and twice I've gone into a deep depression after gaining a lb. or two. This time, I'm willing myself not to quit, but I'm really just over it!!!

So, does anybody have any insight for me? Is this normal? If so, how do I deal? I will go crazy if I can't ever go out to dinner or a bar again. As it is, I barely go out and I'm always fearful of gaining weight with everything I do.

For some context- I'm 23, 144 ( was 142 before last weekend), 5'3'', I've come down from 160, and I work out just about every day, switching days between cardio and heavy lifting. I was eating around 1200 calories a day but recently upped it to 1500 because I was feeling hungry often. I track religiously and watch my every move, so I feel like once in a while I should be able to get away with a cheat! My body fat percentage is 30% and I definitely haven't reached my goal yet.

Thanks so much for any responses, I am just so frustrated right now, and now I have to take weight off that I already had struggled for weeks to get off. It is just so depressing!

If you go off plan you may gain weight, for me I don't weigh myself after a cheat day. I am 90% sure I've gained and don't need to headache of seeing the number I give myself 2-3 days of being on plant to work it off. Usually I'm back to where I was after the cheat or lower.

On the days you're going off plan.....eat healthy before you go out. you don't want to go out hungry.

Know what your going to drink and/or eat. (2 glasses of wine for example) you want to control how off plan you might go...

Your body doesn't hate you, you just need to know how to make going out a part of your larger plan of losing weight.

When you gain, how long does it stay with you? Based on what you say you have, you CAN'T have gained any real weight. It's water weight caused by either increased salt intake or alcohol. It should go away within a few days. To really gain a pound, you would need to eat 3500 above your maintenance calories, and based on what you wrote, you don't do that.
I would focus on the overall trend in your weight loss rather than occasional vicissitudes. After all, overall, you've lost 15 lbs in 2 months---that's great!

I'm with you: It's not an option to never go out again, so I think you're doing just right, i.e., giving yourself permission to loosen the reins on your eating on occasion. The only thing that you maybe need to change is your reaction to such events. Expect to see a gain on the scale, but realize that it isn't real, lasting weight.

It's just water weight. A single beer makes me go up 2 lbs. It comes off in a day or two or three. Same with high-sodium, high-carb, high-sugar.... so a restaurant meal or a party with lots of cheese + crackers, dip, etc, will cause a bounce. Go right back on plan the next day and you will see it come off little by little.

I hear you sister; my body hates me too! I swear, if I eat the "wrong" calorie foods, no matter how little the total number comes to; I gain weight! I read about people who eat 1500 calories and happily lose weight; not me, nope. If i were to eat 1500 cals per day; I would steadily gain. 1200 cals per day with exercise, gives me a modest loss, but if i were to lose 1-2 pounds to week; that would mean 800-1000 cals on clean food, 1 1/2 hour very fast walk and weight training 3-4 per week... yep, my body hates me too

Thanks for the responses! That's the thing, the weight stays on for a good week or so, it will come off again slowly within that week or the next, but slowly enough to drive me crazy and tempt me to be totally neurotic about every food choice I ever make. I feel like it's true that it simply CAN'T be real weight, but what the ****? It really makes me wonder if I have some type of metabolic condition. I feel exactly the same as you, sum38!!! For example... With my calorie budget set to 1200 calories I should be losing 1.5 lbs a week, plus after being under with exercise calories that should be closer to a 2 lb. loss- and it NEVER is! I wonder if the simple weight loss math just doesn't work for everyone? I'm definitely not tracking wrong.... I always underestimate calories burned and I measure everything I ever put into my mouth ( on a regular day).

You are still losing weight, so don't worry and don't give up; "re-feed" days are ok- you will gain weight temporarily but you will lose it again. Ironically, weeks I exercise the hardest I lose the least amount of weight. Could be fat turning to muscle, which is heavier, or could be body is now saving more calories out of perceived necessity....PS- I've lost all my extra weight twice before, so I'm an old hand at this; however, now I'm seriously planning to make this the last time!!

Hi there- how do you get the tickers, etc. to show on your posts?

I feel ya. My body hates me too. I'm trying to figure out a way to make my weight loss journey sustainable and realistic. Anything over 1200 cals and less than 5x/wk of working out hard will make me gain weight. Thebreality is some people have it a bit easier. You'll find your stride though. Congrats on your current losses.

It is pretty normal, so I would not freak.

But if you want your body to love you then eat right the rest of the time. Real healthy stuff. And exercise. A lot.

If you feed your body what it needs, the temporary gains from splurges become a splash in the pan.

Note my emphasis on healthy. Not calories. Or low carb. Or IP. etc. etc.

Just good, unprocessed sh!t. ALL THE REST OF THE TIME. Not a frickin' ice cream when you are home alone as a "cheat". Or a snack because you were feeling frickin' sorry for yourself. Save it for the splurge.

And plenty of exercise.

Fire that metabolism up.

Figure out how many calories you want to eat on a weekly basis. Then allocate them over the week so you allocate more on the day you eat out. I've done this successfully while losing weight. But, one high calorie day can really up your average for the week. So, I find it best to be a bit cautious even on the days that I eat out. Drinks (with calories) and desserts add a lot of calories to a meal. So, for example, I wouldn't normally drink anything with calories (I don't drink alcohol so that is easy for me). If I had a dessert, I would share it so I didn't eat more than about 1/4 of it. And, I do still pay attention to what I eat for my meal.

It may seem unfair but one bad meal if bad enough really can undermine your weight loss efforts the rest of the week.

If I were you I would stick to 1,500 calories per day, and once every couple of weeks have a night out where you indulge a bit (perhaps 1,000 cals over your usual total). Keep doing this for the next six months and see where you land. I would define this as your happy weight.

F.

Your "body" does not hate you! That is a silly concept.

That is kind of like saying snow hates you. It is a concept that does not exist.

Your body is what it is! Instead of "hating" it! Take a breath, be thankful for all it does for you! And take another breath, and listen! If you take a moment, and listen, and be patient, you will find, your body is an amazing thing!

Mine still surprises me! And I'm 55 years old! And I'm a woman! I can actually out shoulder press guys at the gym! Guys that, well, I have kids older than them!

You only get one body. It does not HATE you. Thing is, you need to learn to embrace and love what you have!

I agree with what a lot of others are saying. For me my weight will fluctuate up to 4 pounds IN A DAY! Because of that I make sure and weigh myself only once a week and concentrate on weight, inches AND body fat percentage combined. So when I get on the scale if it reads a little high I don't freak out. Also, if you're working out a lot, your fat is going to be turning into muscle and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat! So go out and have that cheat night and have fun and know that you're doing the right thing. We can't live in the "diet" bubble every single minute of every single day. I work out every day too and I give myself a cheat day every week because I refuse to beat myself up for wanting some freedom and being human. So don't give up and keep your chin up. You're doing good!

Just stay off that scale cause it's an enemy and lies! Weigh yourself once a week and every few weeks do a fat body monitor and measure yourself. That shows true progress. For example. Last month I lost ONE pound but, I lost 1.6% body fat and 4 1/2 inches. I wasn't complaining one bit about that one pound then. hehe It's all about putting things in perspective. Good luck!

You've gotten some great advice. I would suggest that perhaps when you go out, instead of having 3 drinks, you have only one and instead of having a desert, you split a desert or eat only half. If you're having a meal out that is a splurge, still try to make a decent choice and try to limit the order to something that will make you happy but is still somewhat reasonable. So if you're having a burger and fries, maybe have a burger but without mayo and only a few fries and no bacon. I'm just giving you some examples. Once you hit your goal weight, you don't have to be quite as strict but apparently, these splurges are not helping you. The point is you can still go out and have fun with your friends while you are creating an overall caloric deficit.

For me, personally, I can't drink alcohol and make any good choices, but everyone is different.