to the Ups & Downs Support Group! Here is our September 2014 thread. Everyone is welcome to join the group, as long as you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. We named the group Ups & Downs to reflect the many ups and downs in our weight loss journeys, in our life with depression and (for some) on meds, and in life in general. If you are a regular, please post to let us know you found the new thread. If you are new to the group, please tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. This is OUR forum, so post away!!!

Welcome to the September thread, everyone! I don't know about y'all, but somehow the fact of Sept. 1st falling on a Monday makes it a perfect occasion for a re-start on my diet and exercise goals.

I wish I didn't have this pattern of depression always following stress, but there's nothing I can do about it except live through it. At least now I have kitties to sleep with. =smile=

With Bob at the farm getting my studio there painted, a lot of my thoughts have been about that room. It's going to be my refuge when I go there, so I want to do it up right. Bob doesn't know this yet, but I went to Design Within Reach (dwr.com) and splurged on a 1950s-style space-age floor mat—not round, not rectangular, but a curvy parallelogram. Think "The Jetsons" and you'll know that shape. I also picked up a cool-looking chair, also curvy, on sale—just plastic and chrome, something practical but classy for my great-niece Grace to sit on when she's helping me there. =smile= I already have my own work chair, a simple black office chair on rollers. Bob's found this awesome table in one of his woodworking, etc., supply catalogs: it's sold as an "assembly table," and the top is a maple butcher-block plank that is 12 feet long! I love its grey industrial-looking adjustable steel legs: they look so masculine and serious.

I'm going to enjoy going to the farm so much more, once I have a place to work while I'm there. There's only so much time I can spend all blissed out in the hammock before I get up a head of steam to frickin' make something already!

I have to agree Fiona, a Monday and Sept 1st seems like the perfect time to start anew!! Hi IBelieve!! The last couple weeks have been all over the emotional roadmap for me. Now that my meds are working for my mental and not affecting my weight I can focus on the emotional issues that trigger my binges. This last one has been the easiest by far both in intensity and length

Still at my wits end with unemployment issues and they did get the best of me in the last 2 weeks. I gained 4 lbs in less than 7 days when I knew something needed to change in how I'm searching, but wasn't sure what to do. I stopped exercising, drinking water and watching what I was eating.

Desperate times call for desperate measures....I headed to my unemployment office website and found a weekly support group. Went to my first meeting last Wed. That lead to two new temp employment agency contacts and a new resume format. Got back on track with my exercise and diet. I've lost 2 of the 4 lbs already and joined a Sept Challenge forum AND I'm waiting on 3 possible phone calls for temp work

Have to say it feels pretty good to bounce back so quickly and know that I am the reason. Still not employed, but those long, drawn out depressive episodes scare the heck out of me with the toll they take on my body and mind. Took 3 yrs to find the right med combo. Had given up more than once. My message is to say don't give up! Learn the lesson and move on. Control what we can, which is to find the "right combo" no matter the problem. My present issues are PTSD and unemployment.

Hi ladies,

I had such a bad last week of August you wouldn't believe it if I told you. I won't burden you with what has gone on in my life. I do still have my jobs for now. I am working and loving my clients.

One thing I did do was fall down and screw up 2 fingers on my left hand. After 3 days, the swelling and bruising has gone down but they are still very sore. I can finally type with them too.


My weight is still up, my headaches have passed. I feel better except for stress. I am taking my meds religiously.


I will keep you all updated and maybe go into details more.


Much love to all.

Fi: A new month and a new chance to start over and hopefully get things right this time! Sounds good to me, too! Our whole little family (of 4) took a LONG walk together at the lake today, which was nice. Later in the day, I rode the recumbent cycle for 20 minutes, too. Food was okay, but I snuck some carbs in here and there. At least I got the exercise part right! Tomorrow, I will aim to get food and exercise right, starting with a workout with my trainer at 9am. Striving for PROGRESS and NOT perfection! I tend to feel disappointed unless I am "perfect" with both food and exercise on any given day. I need to be patient and forgiving with myself. Your studio at the farm sounds wonderful! Nice that you bought a cool, curvy chair for Grace. She will love it!

fool4fotos: Sorry that you had that little "relapse" with your unemployment issues triggering emotional eating. It happens. At least you are facing it head on and have already undone some of the damage. Good for you! That is great that you joined the unemployment support group and found some great new contacts and a new resume format! I love your message about not giving up!!!

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): I am so sorry to hear that you had such a bad last week of August. I am happy that you took the time to check in with the group! You never "burden" us by telling us what is going on in your life! We are here to listen and support you if you want to give details. If you choose not to, that's okay, too! Just know that we are on your side!!! So sorry to hear about your fall and sore fingers! Good news that the headaches have passed and you are taking your meds religiously. Boo on the continued high stress and weight being up. I can relate, as my weight seems to REFUSE to budge down at all. It is so very frustrating!!! Please hang in there and keep in touch! Sending you a big hug and my prayers!

Waving HELLO to everyone else! Here is to a productive and healthy September for us all!!!

Just dropping in to say a quick Hello and Happy September. I do love this month, my birthday is the 25th. I'll post more later when I have a bit more energy. I hope you all are having a good start to the new month.

Lisa— Oh, that's awful you had a bad last week of August and hurt your hand! I hope it gets better briskly.

Kathleen— Thanks for the feedback about my studio at the farm. I feel rather uneasy about the money I'm spending on it, but that feeling will pass. You go girl, and have a great low-carb week!

The kitties are proving endlessly photogenic, especially in the morning light. One thing that's hard to capture is how much they are in perpetual motion—washing, tussling, etc. I lucked out today and got a freeze frame. And here's a more static shot. Oscar is the one who's more cream-colored, and Nénu is more orange.

I'm afraid I'm turning into one of those doting moms who can't stop taking pictures of her babies. It's so easy to do with the iPad, which is my computer, so it's often in my hands. I always have trouble holding a camera still, but I just rest the iPad on my ample belly, and it's a piece of cake. =laugh= If y'all ever get tired of my cat photos, please let me know. And please do post some of your own cats!

Hi everyone,

Really needing to recommit myself to posting here. It has always helped keep me on track.

I was losing pretty well. Got to 173 and I've been stuck, so as of tomorrow I'm going to drop my calls by 100 and give 1500 a go. I don't want to drop to anything drastic. I'm also really just struggling with eating at night. I'll have extra calories, but then I over do it at night when I have my "snack". This snack basically just turns into another meal.. :/ I'm sure that's really what is getting me, but I need a jump start for my confidence. I need to get into the 160's!

Looking forward to getting back into convo's with everyone here!

IBelieveInMe2 In response to your post in the August thread: Debilitating is definitely a good descriptor for it. This morning I thought "maybe I died and don't remember, and now I'm actually a very high-functioning zombie" in which case, I'm not doing too badly!

I am on prozac for the depression, which has helped a lot. I also take lorazapam as needed for anxiety/panic episodes, but that has turned into an infrequent occurrence, thankfully.

Good luck with the low-carb and exercise!

Fiona I love the pictures of your kitties! They are adorable. I for one would love it if you kept posting them.

ohiofreespirit Ouchie. So sorry to hear about your hand. I hope it heals quickly and your stress gets better.

I hope everyone is having a good week so far.

Hi guys, I'm a new member saying hello and hoping I can join in. I'm 37 and have had depression on and off for about 10 yrs, I had a really bad time of it after the birth of my son who is now 4, for about 8 months I could barely get out of bed, I finally got counselling and things are much better now but I still have bad days.

I am one of those people who self medicates when I'm having a good day with exercise, it really does make a huge difference. When I am having a bad day though I just eat and sit on the couch. I know somewhere in my head I should get myself out the door but its just too hard.

My weight has gone up over the summer, we had some financial problems that were on my mind and I ate a lot to cope, we are okay now but the fear that it might happen again is still there. Fiona W you read my mind September was a new start for me, my kids are back in school so I have a good routine going and I hope its a new start. The past two days I have been on top of things and feeling okay but I know that won't last and I need to have a good support system in place for when it does. My family and friends are great but don't really get it.

Fool4fotos I know how you feel, I am not working at the moment either, I would love a job but its impossible to find anything at the moment that works around my kids schedule. Everyone wants full time staff and I can't afford child care. Both my kids have special needs so they are not the easiest to place either. Its hard but we can use this time to work on ourselves and getting stronger and fitter and the right job will come up, good luck!!

I'm really looking forward to getting to know you all, we can do this!!!

Arya Stark— Welcome to the Ups & Downs thread! I love your name! (For those of you who don't know, Arya Stark is a wonderful and highly admirable female character in "Game of Thrones.") I'm glad to hear you have learned how to self-medicate with exercise. Keep up the good work! I have yet to learn how to do that myself, but it's on my high-priority list of things to add this month: I do leg lifts every night, but that's not enough. I plan to start walking, now that the temperatures are coming down. Please keep posting: the social support of this thread helps a lot, so post every day, whether it's a good day or a bad day, if you possibly can.

FleurdeLis— Good luck with dropping your calories a bit. I have a lot of respect for the self-discipline it takes to keep track of your eating that way.

PhoenixAshes— Way to go for backing off on how often you have to take the lorazepam! I sometimes take a benzodiazepine myself, but it sure does make me somnolent and less likely to keep moving. Thanks for the words of support about my kittie pictures. They may look adorable in the photos I post, but when they're rambunctious, they're a lot of work to keep up with. They insist on knocking things down and shredding tissue paper and generally raising a fuss, which is good for me because I have to follow them around and making sure they're not getting into trouble. They do seem to have mastered the rule about not biting electrical cords, but when they get old enough to easily jump up on the kitchen table & counters, I know I'll have new rules to enforce. =smile=

Kathleen— Way to go on all the exercise you're doing! I don't know about you, but I find I have a lot more energy with the low-carb (sugar-free!) lifestyle. I'll tell you about one of my secret weapons: macadamia nuts. They have the lowest carbs of any nut, and I find that just a few of them are really good for staving off the hungries.

fool4fotos— Good for you on bouncing back from the unemployment doldrums! Good luck on those employment possibilities...I love what you wrote about "learn the lesson and move on."

Lisa— How is your hand today?

The lesson I've been learning in a big way recently is that when I go through periods of stress, even positive stress like getting new kittens, I have an aftermath of days of depression. But I track my moods on a 0 through -5 system, where 0 is a good day, and I'm happy to report that I've advanced from going through a few harrowing -3 days to yesterday being just -1. Mornings are my best times, so I try to plan things that take some "oomph" for that time of day.

I sure do miss hearing from Holly. Are you out there, girl? And Worthy, I'd like to hear from you more often. Even when I just read your postings and don't say anything back, please know that your commitment is an inspiration to me!

FionaW I am so glad you explained it, I only just realised non GOT fans might not know the reference! She is a very determined girl, she doesn't let anything or anyone stand in her way and she is fearless, if she was battling depression and weight loss she would be unstoppable so I'm hoping to channel my inner Arya to stay on top of things.

FleurdeLis I am a night time snacker too, its my downfall. I eat pretty well during the day but once I sit down for the evening, that's it. I'm working on using gum as a food substitute and drinking lots of tea..so far so good but its easy to be good when you are having a good day.

Fiona Yep, that sounds like cats! My cat used to be pretty bad at chewing cords... she's better at that now, but goes crazy for any kind of crinkly plastic. She'll even dig into the trash to get wrappers and such.

aryastark Hiya!

Today was pretty a pretty sick day, and I haven't dealt with it extremely well. But I got out for a walk this evening which helped. I'm staying my boyfriend in The Netherlands right now, and we have to take a train into Rotterdam tomorrow to go to a gallery event featuring his late uncle's art followed by some kind of dinner thing. So it's going to be a busy busy day. I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it a little. We went to Amsterdam shortly after I first arrived here and the day ended up being pretty difficult because my body just shut down on me... but tomorrow could be totally different so I'm staying optimistic.

I love it when I log on and see lots of positive support and encouragement flowing throughout the team!!!

aryastark: to the group and thank you for posting!!! I remember you from when you posted a little while ago! I am happy that you came back! And I am so happy that Fi explained your user name, because I don't know a thing about "Game of Thrones!" I get it now, and I love the description of what a strong and determined character she is. Yes, let us ALL channel some of her strength, determination, and intensity in our own journeys with weight loss and depression. I am glad to hear that your depression is much better now. I have been at the point where I literally couldn't get out of bed for a period of time due to debilitating depression (after the birth of my special needs 15-yr-old daughter), so I can relate and appreciate where you are coming from. You are so wise to acknowledge that the feeling of being on top of your game doesn't last, so having a good support system in place is needed! That is exactly why we named this team Ups & Downs! We want to be here for each other both on those wonderful feeling "UP" days AND on those terrible feeling, blah "DOWN" days. I feel like we have accomplished that in this group so far. It really takes all of us to open up about our experiences (both positive and negative) to make this happen, so I really value and appreciate everyone's input into the group! If I do say so myself, we are a SPECIAL bunch! I think you will fit right in! Best of luck to you in your weight loss journey and with finding a part-time job that works around your kids' school schedule. And, oh, those night-time munchies!!! I fall victim to them so often, too! Let's all work together to beat night-time munching!!! We can do it!

PhoenixAshes: Great to hear from you! Happy Birthday Month!!! My hubby turns the BIG 5-0 on the 22nd, so this is a very special month for us, also! Please remind us of your b-day as it gets closer! LOL on your description of dying without knowing it and being a very high-functioning zombie! I FEEL like a zombie some days, but not a very "high-functioning" one! I still struggle to get things accomplished every day. Some days are better than others, but nothing ever feels easy to me. I guess it's just the way my brain is wired. Glad to hear that the prozac has helped a lot with your depression and that you are only experiencing anxiety/panic episodes infrequently. I tend to have a constant underlying anxiety, for which I take Buspar daily. I have Klonopin for high anxiety events, but only take it very sparingly anymore. As you said..... "thankfully!" Years of counseling and a cocktail of meds have helped me so much, but I am ready to try to wean off some of my meds (with the guidance of my psychiatrist) if possible, because they have had BIG weight gain as side effects and now they are making it MUCH harder to lose weight (along with a thyroid problem that I recently discovered and for which I am trying to get the proper help). So sorry that you are having a bad day and that your body shut down on you when you first arrived in the Netherlands. Happy to hear that you are trying to be optimistic, though, about getting around the other days. I hope your boyfriend is supportive and understanding. Sending a BIG HUG and my prayers that you will feel better and stronger very soon, so that you can enjoy your time there!!!

Fi: Please keep posting photos of Oscar and Nenu!!! I really enjoy them! (Sorry, but I don't know how to type the little accent mark above the e on Nenu's name.) I hope that you will not feel guilty for long about spending money on your space at the farm. You deserve to ENJOY it thoroughly!!! Thank you for the tip on macadamia nuts. I need all the help I can get for staving off the hungries!!! I have NOT had much energy lately, and I am worried that it is due to my thyroid. Still have not heard from the thyroid specialist, so no appointment set with her at this time. Arrrrgh! I NEED to get my thyroid level up, I just know it (based on my fatigue and extreme difficulty losing weight)! I, too, miss hearing from Holly!!! Not sure what happened..... She is such an asset to this group! I hope she will be back. Also, yes, Worthy is such an inspiration, especially with exercise! I love hearing from her, too!

Sabrina: Congrats on being down to 173! Believe me, though, I know how it feels to be STUCK on a number on that scale. SO frustrating!!! Hope that dropping 100 calories and eliminating night-time eating will help. I am happy to hear that you will be checking in here more often. I look forward to your input! You are a valued member of our group! Hope you get to those 160's soon! I am jealous! How is your job going?

Well, so much for the positivity. I'm back down to -3. Depression really sucks. But I made a collage, kind of an angry one.