Well its been over a month since I last posted on here...
Here's how things have been going - I got my wisdom teeth out and was ill for over a week... throwing all my "good" habits out the window...
Now for the past month and a half, I haven't worked out once and I've been eating so much crap (McDonald's, Chips, Ice Cream, Pizza and the list goes on and on)..
I'm at the point that Im so unhappy with my body, I don't even know how or where to start.. I hate how I look, I hate how I feel and I feel like I fail every time I attempt to do something about it..
I really want to start over and don't know where to start... Thought I was doing good today until I went and bought a bag of chips an hour ago.. I have such a hard time with my junk food cravings..
Im at the point where I feel embarassed to even be intimate with my boyfriend...even though he tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me how I am... I'm embarassed to go visit old friends across the country cuz I feel like a big fat slob...
I really need help and support... I have no idea how im going to do this.... All of you guys on here are so inspirational - I wish I was in Onederland with you now...

I don't know if I can do this.... but I want it so bad...

~Celina~

PS: I've attached a pic of me a couple months ago that made me realize how much weight I've put on...and I want to cry everytime I see it...

Hi BrOOklyn, don't sweat the chips just make the next choice good. We tend to wait untill the first of the week or the first of the year or I'll start tomorrow since I screwed up today. Start now no matter what you ate today. You can do it and we are all here to support you. I feel that same way sometimes I keep wondering how long it will be until I fail this time. Well I'm not going to let myself fall into that trap. I just came off a 4 day almost binge. I'm picking right up where I left off and I'm not looking back. You can do it!

Celina, sorry to hear that you are feeling blue. Try not to be so hard on yourself. It is a million times easier to gain weight than it is to lose it. I wish I had some magical advice for you but I'm in the same boat. I haven't gained but I sure haven't lost any either. The best we can do is to try and learn from our mistakes and do our best. That is all we can do.

Sounds like fast food is a downfall, can you try and cook more at home? I hate cooking and on the days I work 12 hour shifts the last thing I want is to cook but otherwise we end up eating too much fast food and you know that packs on the pounds. that is one of my goals too is to cut back on the fast food.

Don't try to change your life overnight. That never works for me. I'll stick to it for a couple of weeks and then go back to my old bad habits. Right now I am trying to exercise regularly and cut back on fast food. Also I am trying to incorporate my fruits and veggies into my diet as well as whole grain bread instead of white bread.

I know too how hard it is to feel sexy when you are with your boyfriend. I have the same problem with my husband. However it seems to me that I am a lot more critical about my body than he is. I know we all think that our men want us to look like a supermodel but I think a lot of them know that is an unrealistic expecation and are happy to be with us as we are.

Don't let your weight stop you from doing what you want to do. If you wait until you feel that you are at the right weight you might lose a lot of opportunities. If your friends are truly your friends then they won't care how much you weigh, they'll be happy to see you because you are a great person and a special friend.

Although I am also overweight I have a friend that I have been e-mailing for a little while. We just made contact again after not seeing each other in about 16 years. She is probably about 100lbs heavier than I am and I don't think she wants me to see her the way she is. I haven't made anymore offers to come and see her, I am trying to respect her feelings but I would really love to see her, we were best friends in high school and just lost touch. Your friends probably want to see you as much as you want to see them. Take care and best wishes.

Hi Celina,

I just want to let you know that you can do it! You can come back! The fact that you're here, 'fessing up to what's been going on, is a huge step. I'm so proud of you just for being here with us.

Maybe you can start with baby steps - trying to find something healthier that you LIKE at a fast food restaurant. My sister's very excited about the new McDonald's salads, though I haven't tried them myself. Also, a lot of restaurants have grilled chicken sandwiches that you can get without the mayo or sauce.

Whatever you do, just keep coming back here! We all have struggles and lean on eachother. I'm so glad you're back!

Hi Celina,

I just want to second what everyone else said. It is very easy sometimes to go back to old habits when we are going through stressful times. Just know that small changes that you can incorporate into your daily life will add up to significant increases in your health. I agree with the "baby steps" suggestion that Angi mentioned...don't try to think you are now going to be perfect because nobody is ever perfect.

But it sounds like you are ready to make those changes and we will all be here to help you along the way!

We didn't gain the weight overnight, neither will we lose it overnight. A small bag of chips is ok every once in awhile. You're human. Don't beat yourself up. As long as you try your best, and like everyone else said, make small changes, it WILL get easier. I promise. *hug*

We are here for you whenever you need us.

Hi Celina, baby steps is right. And if you mess up don't wait to get back o.p. Consistancy forms habits and good, healthy habits are just what you need right now. You can do this! We're all here for you, don't give up.

Beverly

You are not alone. There are so many people on this board who have and are winning. I want to one of them along with you. I love reading all these posts and seeing their progress. I find it very inspirational. Just seeing the post from Boiaby who has lost over 150 pounds makes me want to get down to my garage and exercise! I also have to agree with Howie. Don't look back. Make your next choices good ones and keep looking forward to the healthy new you.

<sigh> what a wonderful bunch of folks!!!!!

they all know what they're talking about..

and celina... you are beautiful inside and out. we all are. my true friends loved me at 500 pounds, and now that i'm in the low 230's they STILL love me. and they'll love me when i hit my goal [did i just write WHEN??? not IF??? hmmmm. must be feeling courageous this morning!!!!]

so, what are the first changes you want to make? remember, they need to be small, manageable ones... water? exercise? chip control? more fruits/veggies? there are so many possibilities!!!!

Oh you guys... I'm almost in tears reading your replies..

You are all such wonderful people and truly inspirational... I am determined to do this and i'm so happy that this board is here as Motivation...

I will do it this time.. I will.... I know I can..

Thanks again for all your kind words!

Started off this morning with a healthy breakfast and a big glass of water (gotta start somewhere I guess.... )

~Celina~

Atta girl! I wholeheartedly agree with all of this great advice, and just remember that along with the "baby steps" idea also goes the thought of "one day at a time." Get up in the morning and say "Just for today, I can make healthy food choices and be active and move." Then get up the next day and do the same thing. Don't look at how far you have to go. . .just make every day of the journey count. Then you'll be on

Blessings & hugs!

Oh girls and boys... I'm about to be sniffling..... Celina... YOU GO GIRL!! I'm in the same boat. My manfriend is a hottie.... and he's shorter than me and WAY skinnier than I... and that scares the crap out of me.... and I'm struggling now with talking myself out of dating him.... I have to keep reminding myself that he obviously doesn't care or he wouldn't like me if he did. It's hard... but me and you and everyone else here... WE CAN DO IT!!!!!! I was at the point a couple of days ago that I didn't even want to leave the house... I was so disgusted with myself... and so I went and got a cheesebuger and icecream... and to my suprise it just made me feel crappier and I realized that I can't do that... I have to go forwards and not backwards... so you go forwards with me!!!!!!