Welcome to the discussion group, support group, Diet Coach group, Diet Buddy group relating to the two books by Dr. Judith S. Beck:and the first bookThe Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT).

The Complete Beck Diet for Life expands the earlier work and includes a food plan with suggested menus. From the cover:This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet buddy (coach) to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 Fat Chicks (3FC), a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post, can be found here.

The books are available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking their names above; buying through 3FC helps to cover the costs of running this site.

You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Rode my bike, CREDIT moi, to one of those brouhaha events where the benefits of green living is touted along with samples of some healthy foods. Alas, samples of some unhealthy foods were right next to them. I avoided some; I ate some declared as morning snack; and brought home a baguette from a high end bakery. Fortunately, on my bike I couldn't nibble on the way home, LOL.

Otherwise food was on plan, CREDIT moi. Easily talked DW into walking to the falafel sandwich shop for dinner since she didn't want to cook. It was surprisingly good even after having been there just two days before. I now understand how to hold the pita bread so that it's maximally spread to hold the most toppings as demonstrated by a 20-something guy next to us. He stuffed almost twice as much salad mixings on top of his falafel as I had. Now I want to go a third time to see if I can match his feat. DW, pointlessly, notes that I could just buy the bowl option and have as much as I wanted by paying by the pound. But what would be the fun of that?


Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Yep, Kudos indeed for doing gym - from a guy who hopes to follow in your footsteps.

FutureFitChick – Boy, isn't "tomorrow will be a clean slate" one of the most seductive Sabotaging Thoughts ever. Kudos for recognizing it to keep "the long-term in mind.". [Rare-and-unusual is my escape valve to avoid feeling so constrained that I burst out of healthy eating for standard cheeses or Oreo cookies. A sample of $40 per pint Balsamic Vinegar clearly fits; a different cheddar cheese clearly doesn't. Wisdoming the difference is a challenge.]

nationalparker – Ouch for the battle of 'surrender' vs 'accept.' Kudos for remembering to keep your DH in mind despite the overwhelming family situation. Supportive thoughts continue to flow across the ether. Thanks for the opportunity to post the first line of Chomp:
Rosebud170 – Yay for sunshine in your corner of the world that's been known to see rain. I also admire your robust lifestyle. Just noted your 100 pound milestone - Super Congratulations for that.

Tricia (AZtricia) - Smart thinking to go the "conquer-dyslexia mode." The big advance for my DD was when she figured out that she could work her way through any reading by using her strategies; it got exponentially better after that. LOL at "briefly fill the refrigerator" at your house.

flnu - Yay for standing on the brink of leaving the 160's. I know about that 'mixed' business, LOL.

Readers -

Hi Coaches and Happy June 1!

I'm entwined in the many details of finishing our project and taking care of other personal responsibilities (including my real job) and managing my healthy food plan. Credit for another day of healthy eating and for switching dinner to a lower calorie option since I had a larger lunch than planned. I've been up painting for an hour before work and now it's time for smoothie and a day at the restaurant. Project moves forward yet we found another electrical issue which our brains are going to think on for a few days.

I have a food plan for today. Credit.

Take care everyone!

Good morning everyone:

(Warning- downer rant ahead. Looking for inspiration. )

In May I was on plan for first 2 weeks (lost 8 pounds). I was committed, happy, and focused. I stared physio and was doing the at home stretching and strengthening program. Then I allowed myself to be derailed by visitors and had not a great week 3. This led to a disastrous week 4- stress eating, overeating, eating junk, no plan, neglecting the physio exercises and so on. Leading to me feeling pretty down.

So here it is June 1st. I don't want to get on the scale- pretty sure those 8 pounds are probably back and just don't want to go there. I feel depressed and defeated. First round of hot weather and everyone is so happy. For me, all I can think of is how much I hate this heat and how every year I think it will be different and every year it is not. I am not sure how I ever get out of this cycle and how I keep up momentum.

It is not like I don't have 1,000 reasons I need/want to lose weight. Many of them are health related. I feel like crap. I am in physical pain. I know I am missing out on so much in life. Everything revolves around my weight. How come I just can't make it happen? It is not like I don't make tons of things happen in other areas of my life. It's not like I don't know what to do.

Sorry for this post. It is one big whine. I am not giving up. If I am I might as well go out and buy a wheelchair because my knees and ankles are not going to be able to withstand this forever. Today I have posted, ate a healthy breakfast and will be sitting down to make a detailed food plan for the week. I don't want to but I am going to.

I know many of you have been where I am and I thank you for all you share. I was reading posts and looked at Lexxiss's stats in her post this morning and thought about how good it would feel to be there someday. I know it is not impossible, but sometimes it sure feels that way.

Take care

Idiotic me just learned what the multi-quote button does this morning...

Yesterday was better than the day before, which is all I was hoping for right now. I only tracked my breakfast and morning snack, so my goal is to get more of that tracked today. I didn't get the dog walked yesterday, but did manage to get some work done in spite of a headache.

Hilarious! I just learned we are moving to Amsterdam, where everyone does everything on a bicycle. I hope the learning curve won't be too steep, but I definitely saw people eating while riding when there a few weeks ago. You make an excellent point that this is not a skill I need to learn.

Great job for adjusting your plan!

Rosebud170, I hope your 5k was amazing this morning!

AZTricia, hope the musical was awesome! Great job for prepping food for the week.

NationalParker, sending supportive thoughts for your dad as he is wrestling with this difficult decision. Your trip away sounds like an excellent refresher!

GossfordGirl, yes, that limited amount of willpower stinks in reality. My wanna-be-type-A self really struggles with not being able to do all of the things I think I should be able to do.

NationalParker and GossfordGirl if you are interested, here is an interview with the author about the book. The first 5 minutes are introduction that you can probably skip if you want to just jump in to the interview. http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/webpage/2012/09

Hi, CeeJay.

I am sending supportive thoughts your way! Are we ever rowing in the same boat!

Awesome job at posting here. I have only been back 2 days now and already feel comfort and support from the group that I too desperately needed. In my opinion, just by posting here, you are working to break the cycle. Don't give up!

It is so easy to direct all of our pain and stress on to being overweight as the singular cause. But for me, I know now that everything doesn't point to being overweight as the cause of my pain. It is a symptom of my inability to make in-the-moment choices that are in my best interest in the long run. My overweight is a symptom of dealing poorly with stress, not the cause of the pain. It does, however, feel that way, which sucks and can compound the pain even more!

When I am in the midst of being down, it is so hard to see what is really causing my pain and begin to take the first steps forward toward a healthier me. But, you have done it! You took the step of posting, and we are here to celebrate YOU and this achievement. You took the step of choosing a healthy breakfast, and we celebrate YOU and this choice. You took the step to COMMIT to making a plan for the week, and we celebrate YOU and this commitment. YOU are more than the number on the scale. WE know that. Don't forget it, missy!

I'll commit to posting here before I make my next "just this once" poor food choice. Will you post with me?

Hi there coaches,
Aztricia-yes, I am reading the Diet Fix...thanks for pointing me in that direction about the munchies...I have upped my protein based on what he has said but I stop eating too early I think. I eat dinner on the early side (5 or 530) and don't want to eat after dinner but I am going to add a snack then and see if I am less tempted to go off plan.

BBE- I love your felafel challenge-lol!!!

Ceejay- boy, have I been there, I would venture to say that we all have. It is so good that you posted about it. That always helps me get my head back in the game. It scares me so much when I am feeling like that since my brain tends to make it a global "I am going to gain all my weight back, etc.." Sometimes when I am in a funk like that, it helps to remember that I have felt that way before and the next day feels better. The more dwelling on the feeling of failure, the more likely I am to go to the fridge for comfort. I wish there was a simple answer. I truly believe that BDS and TDF are the closest we can get to a silver bullet. Reading TDF helps me pretty immediately drop some of that thinking that drives me to eat for mouth hunger or to soothe.

So...I ran the whole 5k!!! I am so excited about it. I told myself I would walk if feeling like I was injuring myself and I never felt that way. My couch to 5k app had me up to running a mile and a half without stopping,to walk so I really wasn't sure how I would do. As far as all the exercise I listed..I really am loving doing each thing and they all do different things for my fitness. I am being very careful to not overdo it or to get too obsessed since I want to maintain this lifestyle.

Another sunny day here and my dad is coming over for dinner tonight so I am looking forward to spending time with him.

Bill and nationalparker, we've also all enjoyed Hoot and Flush by Carl Hiaasen. Hoot's about birds, Bill. Both in Florida.

to all. I'm thinking about reading the green book. Thanks, gardenerjoy, for your reviews. I have similar feelings about Beck to you, as I think we've discussed in the past. I'm so impressed you've managed to get past them.

Tricia - Forgot to say that they look just the thing! And my head net was just like that. The flies at this park were unbearable - in your ears, eyes, mouth etc and the net just did away totally with the Aussie wave. You do get some very strange looks.

CeeJay - - Really glad you posted. You can do it, you have done it, and you make me want to stick with it more closely and stop sabotaging my own efforts so thanks for being real. Today will be a better day for me because you have posted. I hope it is for you. Now to string together a series of those successes

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your very supportive messages. It means a lot. I am feeling much more hopeful tonight than I was this morning. It is good to get it out and then get moving on.

Happy to report that I have lots of credits for today:

-rode exercise bike
-did stretches and strengthening exercises for knees/ankles
-did weights/resistance bands for shoulders
-ate on plan and healthy (so far)
-drank lots of water
-made eating plan for the week
-checked in with my coaches twice now
-read advantage and response cards

BillBlueEyes- good luck with your attempts to master putting as much on the pita bread as possible. Funny.

Lexxiss- you keep on paying attention to what you are doing with food even with your busy life and I admire that!

FutureFitChick-thanks for your reply to my post. I am glad to see you back here and agree about how much the support helps. And I do agree that being overweight is not necessarily at the root of all problems- it is probably easier to look at that than at other things. I am with you about posting before the next poor food choice. I need to learn how to slow it down and think it through before I start.

Rosebud170- thank you for your kind words. Posting did help me have a much more positive day. So true about the link between feelings of failure and overeating. Congratulations of the run. That is fantastic.

silverbirch- waving hello to you. I think you will enjoy the green book- it helped me quite a bit.

GosfordGirl- thanks for your reply. And I hope today was a better day for you too!

Hello, all! I am here with my folks for another few days and then swap off with my sister. Am resigning myself to the fact that Mom will be in rehab for awhile. SIL says don't make it easier - don't bring her food, etc. - she needs to want to come home. That is sensible. But hard. (She LOVES hospital food, but not this rehab clinic food. Yes. Truth.)

Nephew is coming to visit Dad tomorrow for an overnighter. That will be good for both.

Last visit, I lost weight. This visit, I'm sure I'm up several pounds. Will weigh when I get home and just accept and move on. I'm eating too much - and too many treats. Because "I deserve this - life's short". And will be shorter if I keep it up.

CeeJay - Good to see you back and another post today. Look at you - right back on track. Have faith in yourself and those dancing sunglassed dudes will be lining up!

Rosebud - MAJOR kudos on starting the C5K and RUNNING your 5K - YAY. What an achievement. I am so proud of you! Any new socks or something along with the running that would be a nice reward?

Bill - Enjoy some of that baguette for me! Love your analysis of the other fella's ability to take advantage of the spreadability of the pita and vow to emulate ha ha.

Heading up to the hospital billing department tomorrow morning to attempt to square away a $2,500 bill they keep sending my parents that is in error. Goal = return home with a $0.00 statement. My Dad is excited at the prospect of this being fixed after eight months. I didn't know about the issue until another bill arrived this week.

Hello to everyone! I struggle with not posting all personals, but then I know I'd not finish a post. Love reading all of your posts and a big thank you and credits for the positivity in this thread.

I am posting here early as I am using it to avoid getting food to re-energize me for my work. After this I will probably work a little bit more and head to bed early with lots of alarms set to get up super early (BBE early) in the morning to finish my work.

What a fantastic milestone this is! I am so happy for you!

Waving back at you!

Bugs can be so annoying and really put a damper on things.

Yippee! This is great to read and I am delighted for you.

Grilled chicken while dh replaced our dishwasher that broke (still waiting for our clothes washer and hoping the other appliances keep functioning!). Chicken plus watermelon and steamed spinach made our dinner. Have walked pup once and will go out again when it is cooler (still 100 F at nearly 7pm). This week the therapist was busy, so youngest will only see her once.

Today was OP, I'm disappointed to say I went 7 days without losing a pound but know it has to come eventually since I've been OP. My ring feels tight so probably I'm just retaining water.

Cheryl/GosfordGirl Stinks that they are already bothering you about the project. Hope it is all resolved soon. As far as getting funny looks in netting - no problem! I'm a bit allergic to mosquito bites and they turn into welts & knots that last weeks, so avoiding bites is great at any fashion cost I don't like the repellant chemicals so the net seems like a great solution.

BillBlueEyes Kudos for the bike ride and nice that it made some protection against extra munchie attacks. I agree with you-much more fun to have the challenge of packing what you want inside the pita. Looking forward to exponentially better for ds's dyslexia!

Lexxiss/Debbie Best of luck on the perplexing electrical issue. Kudos for your wise food choices.

CeeJay So sorry you've had a set back. Best wishes for it to not get you down for long. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you can't change yesterdays so keep on keeping on. I'm glad to see that you are more hopeful tonight and are checking in!

FutureFitChick Hurray for a better day. Hope your headache is better. The musical was great, thanks! The students had a wonderful time and did an excellent job. I was amazed at all they could learn and pull together in only a week. best of luck finishing your work tonight.

Rosebud170 Hope you figure out what works for you! So awesome that you enjoy your exercise!! That is a great encouragement and I look forward to that day for me.

Coaches

Should I just copy and paste Ceejay's post? Maybe I should. I pretty much did exactly what she did but my downfall was putting myself/my body second to my submission/artwork. My food and my food planning, started to be sporadic as other things became more important in my mind and I started to feel successful and then I just pushed all those successful actions from my mind until one morning I woke up and I didn't feel so good. Not horrible just not as good as I'd been feeling, but by then I am in the stress, in the heavy duty focus and activity of the other things and my food seems not so important to me and that it's ok, I need it to get through the ____ whatever is on my plate. Soon the tummy feels bigger, the scale moves up, and down, and up, and down, the same 5lbs, all settling higher than what I consider "real" weightloss and not just water retention.

Thankfully, I had been planning to return to the gym on June 1st, since that's what I told the trainer in April and I went back this morning, sat on the exercise bike for 20 minutes, enjoyed their luxurious shower, and came home. I am loathe to break these kind of clear promises to myself--this kind of ultimatum. It would have bugged me all day and I knew it if I didn't go. I would have assumed I stayed away cause I was scared to face myself and fear isn't a reason for me not to do something. I can't give into fear, so I went.

As I was thinking about it all this morning I thought I need to do this for my health. Never mind about "losing weight". That focus, that goal, means nothing to me really. If it motivated me, I'd be losing weight. For whatever reason it has lost its power over me. I guess cause life is good, I do things, achieve things and I am overweight, by a lot. I don't need to lose weight to start living my life. *BUT* what did make up my mind was feeling depressed yesterday. Holy crow that's motivating. When I don't take care of my health, when I don't exercise, when I eat poorly, I get depressed and very sad at how I am treating myself. I rely on my nimble mind and it gets bogged down and sluggish and I can't have that. THAT means something to me.

Over the past week leading up to this morning I've been trying to figure out the best time for me to get to the gym. I think it has to be before my day gets going-before I drive DH to work or he leaves for work and takes the car.
That means 7am, 7:30am. I need to be back home by 9am. I'm not going to continue with the personal training. I think it will derail me. I feel fragile and all I want is to string some OP days together and to see myself going to the gym again-to think of myself as someone who does that. I felt like that in November and then went to Florida and lost it. I want that back.

So my day was going along ok and then the care facility my mom lives at called to say she was at the hospital. She wandered away, got lost, some strangers saw she looked disoriented, asked her where she was going, where she lived, she had no idea and so the police were called and the ambulance took her to the hospital and I got the call. So we went to the hospital to get her/see her/talk to the Dr. and find out what happened. She was fine, her new normal self, with fleeting realizations of what had happened. She wasn't sure what kind of place she was in or why she couldn't just leave. Off and on she believed me that she had wandered away and got lost but she had no clue, not really. It was a gorgeous day today. I am sure she will do it again. Now the whole finding the next care facility is a real urgent thing. She isn't in the right place where she is, but it's so tough to know where she should go next as some places are not the right place for her. Still, for today, for now, things are ok.

So my sister, with the power of attorney, will not allow any decisions to be made without her and she will insist on seeing the facilities even if I say it's a good one it won't matter. She is, in theory, reluctant for my mom to move on but I am at peace with it. I know it's not the best place for her there. The staff is not trained for her needs. And the wandering is a deal breaker. And there's nothing to be done about it. If my mother could stop herself she would. She can't. She'd be horrified to know what she was doing.

I did suggest we go get ice cream after we leave the hospital which cheered my mom up greatly as I thought why make her feel bad? She doesn't remember and she can't change this... I'm not going to punish her. I, of course, was going for ice cream to make us ALL feel better though. DH had some, I had some, mum had some. I used food to make bad feelings go away. It worked. We had a nice little time before we returned her home.

So... life goes on. Stress mounts and is dealt with and returns in a different way. My art work goes smoothly, has deadlines, gets rejected, gets accepted, needs to be made, needs to be sold etc etc etc for evermore so long as I live and I am able to. Am I always going to eat to meet these demands? Am I always going to push taking care of my one and only body to the side to take on more "stuff" for others? Or for myself? At what cost?

I *want* to see myself succeed at losing weight, at getting fit, at moving beyond this quicksand state I find myself in. Heavens how long have I been posting here? Just writing that makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed truth be told. But you don't move forward by hiding and I don't care if you guys know I struggle. It's the truth. I just need to accept some basic truths and move forward. Starting with I must move my body and I choose to go to a special place, that I like, to do it. I donlt want to tell anyone around me about it. I don't care if they support me or not, I need to just do it.

*credit* for posting. Back to the green book for me as well. For those that did, thank you for reading.

Have a great June evening.

FutureFitChick - I forgot to say, HOW COOL to be moving to Amsterdam. I would love to live abroad again at some point. How excited are you?

AZTricia - I love no chore more than doing laundry so if you were a neighbor, I'd be hauling bags of clothes over to my home to wash/dry for ya. Good luck with the remaining appliances! It seems things come all at once. I wanted to get rid of my dishwasher and add in a nice cupboard, but DH said we'd never be able to sell without it.

OneByOne - what a shock to get that call, I'm sure. Kudos to you for handling the situation well. Are they able to alarm anything for if she leaves? But I guess you can't alarm a room... That is so stressful, I'm sure. Do you WANT to add the gym into your already busy life or will it be a source of guilt/stress - you said you enjoy going there, though, so maybe fiddle with the time that you find DOES work for you. Could you ride your bike there - was that where you went last week? I guess if the gym is prepaid, that's one thing, though. This is YOUR month to kickstart again and think where you want to be July 1 - what behaviours do you want to have used more than not this month? You deserve this.