The other day I asked my hubby how much he would eat if a) he wouldn't gain weight no matter what and b) his food intake would have no ill effects on his health. His answer? "About the same as I eat now." That's probably around 2,400 calories. (He's 61 years old, 6'2", and weighs 180 pounds. His weight never fluctuates by more than 5 pounds.) He went on to tell me that food has never been one of his passions -- not that this was news to me.

If someone were to ask me the same question, my answer would be 5,000 calories, if not more. It's like we're different species...

Anyone else have a spouse with a maddeningly healthy relationship with food?

F.

DH is naturally a big eater and he has to restrict some to stay a healthy weight, so he's not in the same camp as yours. But my daughter...

I never know how much food to make her because she varies wildly in how much she wants to eat and when she's full, she just stops, no matter what it is. At an early age (she's 17 now), she started saving the best (to her) part of her meals for last, only to discover that she often ended up not eating it at all. I try not to push her to eat more than she wants, but it's a little aggravating when she leaves half a brownie that I would love to eat on her plate.

My brother in law might be the same as your hubby. He's 6'3" and skinny as a rail. He just can't eat a lot of food. He has actually tried to put on weight many times over the years but can't put on much.

I think its partially to do with hungry hormones. And partially to do with him having a fast metabolism.

Its also a body type thing.

I bet my husband and older son would answer the same. Me? I'm with you... About 5000 calories would be so great!!! No matter how long I'm with this an no matter what great habits I form, I would and could go back to pigging out daily in a snap and I WOULD if it didn't mean disasterous things for my health and relationships.

I don't think wanting or not wanting an increase in calories is a sign of sanity or lack thereof, or even an indication of a healthy relationship with food. It just shows a general disinterest in food. Which is fine, but I also know people who really enjoy their food but don't have weight issues but would no doubt appreciate the extra caloric ranges.

I view it like money. I am pretty good with my savings and I generally don't lack in anything but if I were to get a raise from my employer, it's not like I'm gonna decline it.

Hmm, in my family, maintaining weight is more of a conscious effort than a subconscious one. Myself, my husband, parents, in-laws etc are all vigilant 'weight watchers', some more vigilant than others.

I am pretty sure that if any one of us could eat without ANY adverse consequences at all, like putting on weight or risking our health, we would be eating with much more abandonment than what we are doing now. That is not to say that we will become gluttons - we will simply be more lax in our daily eating habits.

Almost everyone in my family has a healthy relationship with food and eat as much as they want until they get full. Which is exactly where I'm headed with IE.

I don't find it infuriating, I find it kind of great! Think of it this way.... if you're eating food without restricting yourself, eating as much as you want and stopping when your stomach is satisfied, then what is the purpose of trying to shove more in there? It's like filling a bucket of water and then letting the water keep running, what's the point? The bucket is already full.

I disagree that it has anything to do with a strong disinterest in food. I don't know anyone who is not interested in food. Anyone who is hungry has a strong interest in food. Once you are satisfied it's normal to lose interest in further eating. The difference is they derive pleasure from being satisfied rather than continuing eating.

But some of us are not full or satisfied with a moderate amount of food. I am eating 800 calorie dinners many days right now which always include a huge salad (so bulky food) and no starchy todos and I could still easily eat another 500 or more. I simply hardly ever feel full or satisfied. Hardly any foods are too rich for me.. Too heavy. Some things might be too sweet, but with lots of water, I can handle that too.

That is why intuitive eating would never, ever work for me. Intuitive eating is what got me all the way up to 275 pounds. I just ate what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted. I didn't binge or pig out.... I just ate how I wanted to eat. My husband ate what he wanted and stayed the same weight. I ate what I wanted and gained over 100 pounds before stabilizing.

I think I'd take even more than 5,000...my husband is your husband's polar opposite and would probably ask for unlimited calories and take full advantage of that option!

This is very discouraging to hear, because once again IE is completely being misinterpreted. IE is NOT about eating whatever you want whenever you want it in whatever amounts you want, I don't know why this myth is so perpetual. IE is a methodical process of rebuilding your relationship with food, it's a lot of hard work, the hardest work I've ever had to do. It has taken me so far out of my comfort zone, and forced me to think about things that I've never had to address before. It's so painful to hear people dumb it down to the "eat whatever you feel like" diet. It just makes it sounds like we are stupid dumb people who are too lazy to lose weight. It's ok to not understand what IE is, but to blame a 100lb gain on IE is ... well I don't even know what to say about that.

Great analogy! And you're right, maybe "sane" is not the right word for my husband. He just doesn't see what the big deal is about food, just as some people don't care for sex or foot rubs.

F.

Mine is a similar story.. I have 2 brothers, both younger and both can eat what they like and dont gain a gram.. Heres an idea of what they eat and their habits. Brother A is a heavy smoker, lives off takeaway and his idea of a snack is a full family sized pizza, a packet of sweet biscuits, whatever else he can find in the fridge, a can of bourban and a ciggie. Brother B is a sugar junkie. He drinks at least 4 cups of coffee a day with 3 sugars in each, he usually has 1-2 energy drinks a day too and eats at least 4 blocks of chocolate and 4-5 packets of those feral sour worms/lollies a week, and he is skinny as a bean pole.

I walk into maccas and I gain 10 pounds. So unfair!

Same here. If anything I'm even more extreme. I can eat 4,000 calories in one sitting before I start feeling uncomfortably full. At age four I ate 2,000+ cals of chocolate in one go and felt just fine. If I didn't eat less than I'd like at every single meal I would weigh 500 pounds.

F.

But don't you think that some people just have larger natural appetites?

F.

Also, with regard to IE, I know this is going to sound really bad, but the only way IE works for me is after I have starved myself for a bit. Not like never eating, just eating smaller than normal meals, never feeling satisfied, and always being a little hungry (not sure if that even constitutes starving yourself - maybe just extreme portion control?!). I dont know if it shrinks my stomach or whatever, but after doing that for a bit, the smaller meals become more satisfying and when I eat a little more than I am used to, it creates a phyisical pain in me so bad I cant move properly.