I have never been a member of the clean plate club. It had been drilled into me as a kid to always always always leave something on my plate. My Mother was adamant about that. I've been taught to believe that it is unladylike to finish everything on my plate, and that the only thing that can dictate my satiety is myself, not the amount of food that is on my plate. Always leave a little room. Good or bad, it's a habit and I don't see any reason to change it in exchange of licking my plate clean.

I know many many people have been taught otherwise, but I was surprised that I got a comment last night about this from a friend. I was out with the girls and we went to a French restaurant. We were having champagne and crepes and it was divine for all of us to be out without the kiddos for once! My crepe was lightly buttered with 2 scoops of ice cream. I proceeded to eat it and of course left a bite of crepe and a scoop of ice cream. Partly out of habit but also I'd had enough. So afterwards my (skinny) friend says "how do you not finish everything on your plate? If that were me I'd be licking the plate right now" and so I explained why I'm in the habit of leaving stuff on my plate and the whole table laughed. I think they thought it was preposterous. Still, I felt a little bad because I am after all fat and so my method isn't exactly working is it.

I guess it all depends on how one was raised. My Mom spent much of her youth in wartime Germany in a war camp, and she often didn't know where her next meal was coming from. So, if I ever left anything on my plate when I was younger, I'd get a lecture about all the starving children in the world and how I should appreciate how fortunate I was instead of being wasteful! "Ladylike" was the last thing on my Mom's mind.

Since I'm now 55, I'm no longer governed by the lessons of my youth, and I make my own decisions....although it's also rather amusing that whenever I see someone leave food on their plate, I still have visions of starving children!

Now that I'm dieting, I'm very strict with my portions. I dish out an amount that will satisfy my hunger, but still leave me wanting a bit more. So, I end up eating everything on my plate. When I eat out, I eat until I know I've had enough per my diet plan...which might mean leaving a bit (or asking for it to be wrapped) or it might mean eating everything. It all depends on the portion size that I am served.

My parents were lifelong members of the "if you take it, you eat it" club. My boyfriend, when we first got together, hated to waste food, which I get. But as I'm learning portion control he now understands that I'm not going to finish everything on my plate, but next time I'll put less on there.

I never understood the starving children argument because I didn't grow up starving and my family didn't either. Plus I don't see how eating more than I need helps someone who's hungry on a different continent. Plus if you grew up in a war ravaged country that rationale should presumably spill into all other areas of your life. I've volunteered at soup kitchens and regularly make donations to my local food bank. That seems to help more than eating my one last bite if Mac n cheese. Lets face it, either way it's finding its way back into the soil.

"So, if I ever left anything on my plate when I was younger, I'd get a lecture about all the starving children in the world and how I should appreciate how fortunate I was instead of being wasteful!"

Yep, me too. It was drilled in. Wanna, you just got another food rule and tend to abide by it to this day. Those of us with the finish it rule have similar programming, just to a different rule. I could argue 16 ways to Sunday why both the mandatory "leave some" and the more ubiquitous "finish it" are both pointless and unhelpful as arbitrary rules. And yes I have a thing with external rules: Fallible human constructs all.

The issue is not that it somehow helps to eat more than you need...obviously it doesn't. The issue is that you should only cook and serve that which you can eat...no more, no less. To do otherwise is to be wasteful, and that "waste" could (in theory) be put to better use (even on this continent).

I can understand not wanting or not being able to finish everything on a plate in a restaurant but the idea of growing, buying, preparing and plating up food that you know you're not going to eat, strikes me as fairly wasteful. Doing it because you imagine that other people will think well of you is totally beyond my understanding.

Yeah, I see it like Trudiha. I make and take what I can eat. When I overestimate my capacity, I'm about 50/50 on whether I finish or leave it. Growing up, I was never pressured to clean my plate or given any rules really regarding food, other than the philosophy that processed food is cr@p, albeit affordable cr@p. I still feel guilty when I eat anything not "whole," like when I take a supplement or use protein powder. My parents would not have been cool with that.

Like some of you, it's never made sense to me when parents would tell their kids to eat b/c others are starving. In that scenario, it's the parents who are being wasteful b/c they're giving their child more food than she really can handle. If the parents care about resources going where they're desperately needed, they'd give their kid what matches her appetite and donate the cash they save to the needy.

I suppose it's really meant more in a "don't be an ungrateful brat" sense than in a desire for an ideal distribution of resources though.

Most people don't like seeing anything go to waste, but the perception of waste seems to be a little different for everyone.

Some think if you don't clean your plate, it's wasteful. "Eat the damned food you little brat, people less fortunate than you would be more than happy to have it!"

However, if you eat too much strictly to feel better about not wasting food, how much better is that? Eating excess food is going to waste in a completely different way; this is how people become sickly and obese.

Personally, I'd rather give away or even throw out excess food rather than make myself eat too much for the sake of the "starving people in China." Eating something so it "doesn't go to waste" is essentially treating your body like a garbage can.

I agree! It's going to waste b/c it's not being used as fuel.

I'm all for savoring the majestic pleasure that is food. So when I overindulge, in one way I don't feel like the food went to waste b/c I got something out of the experience.

But in the sense of food as fuel, it is wasteful to over consume. I completely forgot how that pov helped me when I was initially losing weight. I wanted to take in just the right amount for my body. When I started to feel full, I'd put the item away for later, even if it was just for an hour. This was new to me and helped me see eating the right portions as creating a sense of harmony rather than a sense of deprivation.

I've since relaxed my way of thinking myself as well, and I think it's important to be able to approach eating without guilt or other emotions taking over. Basically speaking, I have to consider whether or not it's worth it to me to indulge. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but the main issue was being able to put it all into perspective without wanting to throw a hissy fit when half a dessert was enough but the rest of it was calling me.

I think it does take a while for some of us to not only relearn proper portion sizes, but to find satisfaction with them and not look for whatever excuse is handy to eat that extra bit.

Not judging anyone but I NEVER NEVER NEVER waste food. The amount of waste I see at restaurants and how some parents allow their kids to.waste food makes me sick.

The thing about cleaning your plate for me, and I'm apart of that club and a firm believer in it, is not so much that you should eat too much to keep from wasting, or "save the starving children", it's that a person should learn how much they can/will eat, and then eat accordingly. If you are a person that doesn't need to eat a lot to satisfy yourself, then don't eat a lot! If you have a larger appetite, eat more! Makes sense to me.

What doesn't make sense to me are these people out there who don't have a large appetite, but yet they always get more than they intend to eat without plans to save anything for another time: for instance, someone who orders a combo meal of a burger and fries, and then just eats the burger, or someone who orders a large drink when they can usually only take a small. Or the person who allows someone else to cook for them, fills their plate, and then only eats a couple bites and leaves the rest because "OMG I'm so full, I just couldn't eat that much!"

Those people make no sense to me. If you're not going to eat a lot of food, then don't get a lot of food or don't get things you're not going to eat, especially if someone else is preparing the meal for you or buying your meal. Now, if you fill your plate with intentions to eat it all and then fill up before you finish, that's one thing. But if you knew and acknowledged that you weren't that hungry to begin with, and take things "just to be polite", then you're really not being polite at all and you've just wasted the time of whoever prepared the meal, and to me, that's very rude. I'd rather you just tell me you're not hungry and not eat then have you waste my food and/or money I've spent on you and/or time and effort I took out to do something special for you.

And if you go out to eat and order things you're not going to eat, like the combo meal with fries and not eating the fries, then that really makes no sense. Why order fries if you don't want fries, just because it's a "deal" and it comes with the meal? Would it not be cheaper to just order the sandwich/entree? Same goes for buying a larger size than you need -- if you go to Starbucks, get a venti mocha frappa latte with whipped cream and sprinkles, and only drink a third of it... why didn't you just get a "tall"? Once again, wouldn't that have been cheaper anyway?

I could go on for hours about this, but essentially... I think people should just eat what they intend to eat, and stop being excessive and wasteful about everything in general. You should also be thoughtful when other people are providing you with food and consider the amount of effort they're taking to do something for you; if you get offered something and don't want it, don't take it! Bottom line is, be honest with yourself and others about what you will and won't eat so you won't come across as ungrateful when you don't take as much as they offer. I'm sure most people would rather you say "no" then eat too much as a means to satisfy another person or to keep yourself from "being wasteful".

I'm pretty good about filling my plate with what I need and finishing it all except for the last bite or so which is a lifelong habit as stated before. There are some cases where I don't have control of what's going on my plate like at a restaurant or someone's house. For example when I ordered my crepe the waitress said "do you want a scoop of ice cream with that?" To which I said yes and then it came with 2 scoops. I can't eat 2 scoops. Sending it back wouldn't work, the ice cream was melting on top of the hot crepe. I won't eat it. I can't take it home nor can I take the last bite of crepe home. So what to do in a case like that?

In trying to teach my son how to be a good eater sometimes food is sacrificed. One minute he wants cheerios, the next minute those Cheerios have been spilled.

I was taught a little of both, growing up--clean your plate, there are starving children in the world AND always leave a little something on your plate. One applied at home. The other I was taught as proper etiquette for outside the home. However, I like the new one I've taught myself best: If you're full, stop eating.