I have been on my "life style change" for about a month or so... I've lost "about" 8 lbs or so, give or take. I'm trying to do the exercising, swimming, walking, all that kind of stuff.

My BIGGEST (but not my only) problem is, I absolutely can not stay away from the sweets. I try hard, and then after avoiding it for so long, I eventually give in.

Like I tell myself "No! Don't eat that cupcake" or "You shouldn't have any ice cream" (None of this is in my home, I go out to get it) and that lasts a day, and then I go get it. Then I'll be satisfied for a few days, and then I'll want it again. How do I stop this terrible behavior?

My other problem is, I'll finish swimming, and then I'll be hungry! Incredibly hungry. And I'll pretty much go home and eat, and then sit down for the rest of the night. That's absolutely terrible! So much for working off all those calories, I'm trying hard to get rid of.

I also need help on motivation. I hate walking. It's the worst. I know it's incredibly good for you, but I hate it. It hurts my back, and it just sucks. I've got about 115 lbs to lose... Yeah, yeah, I know it's a lot, so I shouldn't be whining, but it sucks. But I try and make myself do it anyway, and when I don't, I go swimming, but I pretty much do that everyday anyway. I want to lose an x amount of weight by December, but I'm really lacking on it right now.

I need help! I don't mean to sound incredibly whiny, I'm just at the end, where I want to give up because I want to say, I don't care anymore, but the truth is, I actually do. I'm tired of being the fat girl that everyone looks at and points to. That sucks too.

For me, it has to truly be everything in moderation, or I could never stick to it. If I want ice cream, I'm gonna have some ice cream, but here's the kicker - I'm not eating a giant bowl or a whole pint by myself, I'm eating just a small scoop. It makes a world of difference, because I never feel deprived. If it fits into my calorie goals for the day, I'll eat it. But the best part? Once I'm doing good and feeling healthy, I really don't even want to eat junk food.. I mean sure, the cravings come up, but not like they used to, and when they do, I feel like I'm very happy with how I'm doing/some chips aren't worth slowing that down. My advice is not to restrict yourself so tightly, that way you won't feel the need to throw in the towel, eat whatever, and then start from square one all over again. I've got a sweet tooth too, my weakness is chocolate. And you know what? I eat it almost every day. One small little square of dark chocolate will never ruin everything for me, but it does stop me from binging on a giant candy bar or two because I feel like I haven't had chocolate in forever and if I'm gonna eat it, might as well eat a bunch! I repeat - everything in moderation.

Weirdly enough, swimming is also something that makes me super hungry! I think it makes me burn a lot more calories than whatever else I'm doing, so when I'm going to be swimming, I make sure to eat more calories. Not enough to cancel out my efforts, but enough to make sure my body is properly fueled. That might help!

As far as walking goes... I know I'm far from goal, but the number one piece of advice I ever got in regards to weight loss (yes, even better than the first tip) was that if you don't like it, don't do it. If you force yourself into a fitness routine you dread and abhor, you'll be so miserable that there's no way you'll stick to it. Sure, walking is great, but there are plenty of other things you could do! Exercise can and should be enjoyable! Find something you love to do, and you're guaranteed to stick to it, as it will become more of a hobby than a chore.

Don't look at diet & exercise as something to do because you hate your body, but rather something to do because you love it. Flipping as much as I can to something positive makes all the difference in the world for me. 115lbs is a pretty daunting goal, and anyone would feel intimidated by it, I think. It can feel impossible, but you know what's entirely doable? Losing ten pounds, eleven times.

I'm one of those people that doesn't restrict certain foods because then I obsess over them. If I want ice cream, candy, cookies, chocolate, etc, I eat it. I find a way to fit it into my calorie count for the day. I don't think eating sweets is terrible behavior.

Swimming always makes me hungry. Protein fills me up so if I need a snack to hold me over until a meal I'll eat a protein bar, some cheese or a hard boiled egg (or 2). That will usually fill me up enough that I don't feel like I want to eat my sofa cushion.

If you don't like walking don't do it. There are lots of other exercises to choose from. If you hate something you probably won't stick to it. Find something you like.

If you've lost 8 pounds in about a month that's 2lbs a week, that's a good amount per week.

Like the others that responded I don't strictly prohibit foods in any category. I try to eat healthily for the vast majority of my diet but if I want a cookie I eat one, not the entire box like I used to. As for ice cream, I have found that our frozen fruit smoothies are more satisfying and tastes better. If you would like the general recipe I'll be happy to share it.

I used to swim too (no access to a pool now) and it would also make me hungry. We timed our swim right before lunch which is our largest meal and that worked well. If that type of timing is not possible, perhaps change times to morning or like the above poster said, take a protein snack for right after the swim. I like peanut butter on celery, a cup of chicken or tuna salad or boiled eggs.

You might find that walking will be easier as you lose weight. I'd mix up some walking with your swimming. Rome wasn't built in a day, it will take time to undo it. Keep up the good work.

Cathy

If you're hungry after swimming, EAT! By all means, fill up, but do it on veggies and a bit of lean protein. When you get the urge for something bad, make it a rule that you have to eat 1 cup of veggies first. If after that you must have ice cream or whatever, then have it, in a limited portion.

I don't think you are lacking in self control.

I think, like a lot of us, the downfall is, we think it all has to be "ONE WAY"

It's all about learning and exploring and finding out what works for us!

What works for me, might back fire for you. On the flip side, your plan might drive me batc**p.

Take a breath, relax! It's a long haul, mistakes will be made, don't whip yourself with limp spaghetti, learn from it!

Thanks so much everyone. <3

I lost about 40 pounds before I started exercising and after I started it slowed down so much. Like I went from losing about ten pounds a month to three or four. Now I wish I had waited another twenty to start. I think exercise is awesome for health but not so great for weight loss.

So, when you go off plan, do you just have the cupcake or whatever and then get back on plan or do you eat like crazy for an hour or a day or more? I cannot have one off plan item w/o an avalanche. I will swear to myself just one cookie or whatever, and then I'll eat the whole box and then run out for more. So I can't do the moderation thing. I do my best to abstain completely. I do fall off the wagon her and there, though, and when it happens, I pull myself out of it as quickly as I can and I congratulate myself for getting back on plan. I find that as long as there are many more on-plan days than not, it all keeps moving in the right direction.

I agree with all the wonderful advice you've received. One thing that I think is important is what I would call: embrace the suck. Sure we all have those times when we just want to give up and not continue this battle but where does that lead us? Right back where we started....or even worse.

There's a quote I saw here that really resonated with me:

Losing weight is hard, working out is hard, being fat is hard. Pick your hard.

With food...especially sugar, we get instant gratification and that's why it's so hard to stick to our plan because that takes time in order for us to see results. There are lots of other reasons why we give up too (e.g. feeling like we aren't losing fast enough, emotional issues, etc.). The key is not motivation. The key is commitment.

The following might not work for you, but this is what I do:
Whenever I want something I try to find something healthy to replace it. If I'm craving sweets, I'll have tea with stevia or frozen grapes. I also make delicious zucchinni/chocolate chip muffins that fit into my caloric plan. If I'm craving pizza, I'll make my own lower calorie version using low cal bagels and putting some pasta sauce on them and some shredded cheese.

There are times when I do fall off plan but I try to get right back on. I have a binge eating problem so it's a monster I need to conquer on a regular basis.

With regards to workouts: swimming also makes me hungry. If you hate to walk, find something else you like because if you hate it, you won't do it. Or, if you know you want to eat after swimming, then plan for it and have something healthy waiting for you at home when you get back. Planning ahead is awesome and if you can recognize what triggers you to fall off plan, then you can make adjustments that will fit into your plan.

I realize this might not be the MOST healthy way to deal with this but I will tell you what I do!

I use lower fat items substituted when I NEED that chocolate or cake or ? For example, Skinny cow items (ice cream, candies etc) are amazing when I have a sugar craving. One packet or container is usually around 100 calories and SO yummy! I also need to have dessert so I have a box of low fat cookies (50 cal each and under 1g fat) I eat one everyday for dessert. Snacks are usually slim fast snack bars (taste like chocolate bars!) or some other bar (there are hundreds of kinds out there close to 100 cal). It feels like eating a full fat snack but it is not too many calories. I will admit to now having a box of VERY yummy chocolates in the cupboard but they are too high for me to reach and I get my hubby to give me ONE when I am in desperate need Each, they are only just over 100 cal but I can only ever have one at a sitting.

My second option is for the binging desire. I put veggies on a cookie sheet (green beans, mushrooms, asparagus are my favs) and bake in oven 425 for about 20 min. A small amount of soy sauce for dipping (not much as you put a tiny bit of olive oil and seasoning salt before baking) and voila, something to occupy my binge requirement or movie watching or general boredom on a wet saturday.

I love this post!

Eating sweets keeps the cravings for sugar alive and strong. Losing weight is about making choices, not will power or self control. We either chose to do what support weight loss and health or we chose not to. Cravings last 15 minutes. Chose to wait 20 minutes before having something and you won't desire it. If you want to lose the weight and keep it off, it takes learning a new way of eating, not eating the foods that made us overweight in the first place.

I might be the Debbie Downer here.

I do not consider "sugar" as "food." I consider it a drug, a very potent drug that destroys lives. I guess I have seen the bad side of sugar. One half of my family has been wiped out by sugar and fat related diseases. They too thought that it was okay to use sugar in moderation, but I wonder if you would think it would be okay for someone to shoot up heroin, or snort crack in moderation? Sure it is nice and gives you a rush, but really?

Please try to wean yourself from this man made plague.

I love "embrace the suck", how true is that?

I will say, though, that for me over time the SUCK gets less. It all gets easier, and what felt brutally hard in the beginning (not eating the cupcake!) now feels like a pretty easy decision. Mostly because I don't take that first bite -- if I did, it would be all over. As a binge eater, I don't do moderation well, so I rarely put myself in a position to have to exert the energy it would take to eat "just one" of something bad for me.

I only very RARELY indulge in something I think will be hard to limit, it is just too hard to fight through the cravings that follow. Too tiring and stressful, better for me if I just skip it. It's only a cupcake, after all.

So I agree, there is an element of "gutting it out" at the beginning, but know that while you are hanging on for dear life, it *WILL* get easier, so stick to it!

Embrace the suck..I occasionally say embrace the pain but I like "suck" better.

Good one.