I have been gone for I don't know how long. Maybe a year. In that time I have managed to put back on somewhere between 40-50 pounds. It just disgusts me. I worked so hard and let it all go.

Honestly the last 10 pounds probably came on in the last 6 weeks while I have been "thinking about getting started again". I bought a bigger size pant last fall and I am just about in need of going to the next size. I tried on shorts from last year and they look more like they are painted on then actual shorts. But even these things did not get me back on track.

Yesterday, my 5 year old came to me and told me her friend said I am fat. I know here friend and I not she was not being "mean" about it she was simply stating what she saw but it still hurts. Then my daughter said "Mommy, you're not fat." I said, "Well, yes honey I am." She said "you are a little fat." She was being so sweet and careful not to hurt my feelings. I told her "That yes, I am fat and so are other people and that is OK becasue we love people whether they are fat or not." She got a huge smile on her face, said "Yep!", and gave me a huge hug! I love her SO much and I HATE it that she felt embarrased by her friends comment and that she felt the need to "protect" my feelings. She is 5! She should not have to do that.

I HAVE to get control over this but EVEN AFTER ALL THIS, it feels so daunting. It took me a year to lose about 65 pounds last time and I have about 150 pouinds to lose. I know WHAT to do. I know HOW to do it. I just don't know WHY it is SOOOO hard? WHY I am hesitant? It just hurts! It makes me tired before I even get started just thinking about it. I am a blessed, pretty, successful woman that has the best little girl in the world and yet the whle weight thing is so frustrating, embarassing, painful, and feels impossible!!!

Welcome back!! Logging in here and posting was the first step and it's one of the most important ones you could have made!

I think, for most people, something has to be the trigger for us to mentally get in or back on plan. I think the eating and exercise part can be the easier thing (please note, EASIER, not easy!), it's the mental commitment that we have to make that fails us.

Your little girl sounds like a sweetheart. I remember when the little boy next door told me I had a big belly, I wanted to DIE. But how could I get mad, he WAS telling the truth. I think I ordered a pizza that night afterwards.

3FC has changed my life, I love posting here knowing I'm logging in every day (and updating my weight every Monday) with the good and the bad. And I will be honest, I have 98% GREAT days and 2% sucky days. But I have been on plan 100% for the last 10 months and it is WONDERFUL. I am addicted to progress and weightloss and accountability. I learned how to eat, how to exercise, how to motivate and regulate myself. I am a whole new different person.

I wish the same for you and hope I see you post often. Good luck, you can do this!!

Thank you! I agree the mental commitment is the tougher part! I just have to get my head in this game again.
Have you lost 135 pounds in 10 months? What plan are you doing?

I understand how you feel completely! I'm in the same boat at the moment. I was doing well, a little snacking at work, enough calories left to have dinner. But, what do I do? Come home n eat junk because I think I'm hungry. So now I'm over on calories but want an actual dinner. Illttry to have something small and filling, soup maybe. But its so frustrating. Its hard to retrain yourself. I just have to keep trying.

It's a long story. I'm on a medically supervised diet so I eat very low calorie healthy food (but I have never been fuller, go figure!). I see a medical team (nurse, doctor, nutritionist) every week for evaluation, blood work as needed, etc. I'm trying to have a baby and only have until September or I have to have a hysterectomy (I have endometrial cancer). So I am on a mission to get this weight off to try and have a baby via in-vitro which meant I had to get my BMI down as low as I could since they won't treat anyone with BMI over 40 (it was over 50 when I started losing weight). As of today, my BMI is 31.2 which makes me and my doctors very happy!

Elvislover: Congratulations on your success. That is awesome! I pray the in-vitro and all goes well. I am curious, is your medically supervised program through the fertility doc or another doc? I have had thoughts that I wished my doc would supervise my weighloss efforts and I asked him about weightloss one time but he just gave me the number of a doc for surgery. I like my doctor and I know he didn't mean any harm but his response kind of took me by surprise. I haven't ruled out surgery but it is not what I want quite yet. So are there doc that are no fertility doc that monitor weighloss, work with a dietician, etc.?
Buffy: Thank you for your reply. These responses really help me to not feel so alone in all this. I am a single mom and I only have a couple friends I talk about weighloss with but really only one has been where I am and her life is pretty crazy right now so i do feel alone in all this. I am starting to beleive I can do this (again).

How are you doing tw326? Are things getting easier? My big success is drinking more water. Tomorrow I'm trying no pop at all. Ill have my ibuprofen in case I get a headache. I'm keeping my calories lower, choices are hard every day but I'm trying to not just give up if I make a mistake. Hope you're doing better!

Thanks tw! It's a long story!

I have endometrial cancer so the rush is on to get pregnant (I have until September before I have to have a hysterectomy). My medically supervised diet is through the same medical center where my OB/GYN is but in a different office. They (my OB/GYN, my oncologist, my fertility doctor and my diet doctor) all work in conjunction together to make sure I'm doing everything the right way and everyone is in the loop. But essentially it's my oncologist who gets to call all the shots! My oncologist wanted me to consider weightloss surgery after my hysterectomy (I should have had the hysterectomy last summer after my diagnosis) but I want a baby so very badly. I went on medication for 6 months to suppress the cancer and now got the all-clear to race the cancer clock to get pregnant. I didn't want to do WLS as I was scared enough knowing I have to have a hysterectomy very soon (I'll be in surgical menopause one way or another by the time I'm 38). So I asked if I could try a medically supervised diet while on my medication (that causes weight gain as a side effect, ugh!) and I beat the odds and then some! I wish you a lot of luck. Once I got into my diet I learned to love it (I was eating probably 4000 calories a day back when I wasn't on a diet, now I eat about 1000-1100 but exercise 300-400 out a day for a net of 600-700. This isn't safe to do without strict supervision!!)

Cabin: Thanks for checking in on me. I am doing OK. I have not really "started" my plan but I have used this week to really get my head in the right spot to do this all again. I think the pain of my daughters friend's comment is subsiding and I am moving off my pity party. I have done a few little things like I actually had a salad for dinner on Tuesday night, we had whole wheat pasta and "lite" sauce for dinner last night, I have not had my daily Egg McMuffin for 2 days now and I have not had my usual sweet tea at all yesterday or today. I still have tea but just not "sweet tea". I was easily drinking 32-64 ounces of sweet tea daily and sometime more. Thankfully I stopped drinking soft drinks almost 3 years ago and have not gone back to that habit. Now if I can just cut down my ice cream habit. Lol!

elvislover: That really is a restrictive diet; I'm glad to know you are being medically supervised. It is amazing what we can do when we really want something! I always wanted to be a mom but I had thought I would become a mom once I got married. I hadn't found "the one" and I was 36 so I decided to adopt. I became a mom at 39 and I am now 44. It was a long and hard road but it was so worth it all in the end. I will be praying your dreams come true as well!

TW that is awesome! You are already making great choices! That's awesome about the sweet tea, that's a great accomplishment! I have survived the day without pop, fell off a little with the calories but am moving forward and not going to let it mess everything up. I also found a drink mix called true lemon. Its all natural and no artificial sugars!! I just have to find where to buy it! Keep up the great work!

TW!!!!!
Sister, we are in the same boat. I was actually coming on here for the first time since November to look for some inspiration. I am back up and today was the first time in a very long time that I felt even remotely motivated. Imagine my surprise to see you at the top of the posts page.
Good luck my friend.

Goodnuff!!!!
So good to see you. I mean sorry we are back but so good to see you. Are you still traveling??
Struggled today! Mainly just a hard day overall. I hope TOM is here soon because I am a mess and I really want to enjoy my weekend. One positive for today...still no sweet tea! Baby steps!!!

I am still traveling. Currently in Norfolk,VA.
Started packing on the pounds during my last assignment. Lost some, gained some more back. Just starting to become aware of all of the bad habits that have creeped back since I stopped posting religiously. It feels like I was two steps forward 1 and 9/10th of a step back. Not restating from quite ground zero but close. :-(
Here's to us for realizing maybe sooner than other times, using what we know works and not taking any shortcuts to get what we want. I still believe we can do this.

TW, welcome back. I'm glad you chose to share your experience. I'm not glad that you and your sweet little girl had to go through some drama, but I'm glad you shared the experience with us. You've help me to realize that other people are going through the same challenges that I'm going through. I agree with the others on this post. It is the mental focus and commitment that is SO HARD... We all know how to lose weight. We know the how, the what, the why, and the when. We've run this race many times, so ignorance is not our problem. Committing our minds to the task of developing and maintaining good healthy habits for a life time and not using food to meet our emotional needs is our challenge. I think visiting 3FC will be very helpful in us achieving and maintaining our overall good health.