Hi everyone,
It's been awhile since I posted because I've had a plateau for the last six weeks or so mainly (I hope!) because I've been quite sick. My weight has been fluctuating up and down a few pounds, but no big gain and no big loss, even though I've been doing my best to stick on plan.
I've been feeling really depressed about this. I made a promise to myself that this is the year I make a huge change and lose a big chunk of the 100+ pounds I need to lose. And I started to doubt myself, to think I couldn't do it. I thought that I was a failure, for only losing 35lbs!
Then this weekend I had a bit of a binge, brought on by the depression, and I didn't enjoy it. The greasy, fatty, sugary foods I binged on didn't give me the high they once had. And I started to think that maybe I am succeeding, even if it's not a success I can measure in lbs lost.
So I sat down and made a list of what dieting for 5 months, and losing 35lbs has done for me:
*I used to experience GERD (I would wake up vomiting in the middle of the night). But I haven't had a single experience of it happening since February
*I used to get a pain around my liver/gallbladder, whenever I ate something greasy. I don't anymore, partially because I don't eat greasy things, but even when I do, I don't have that issue now.
*my knees used to click whenever I walked down one flight of stairs. I work on the third floor, so walking down three flights with someone beside me was embarrassing. Now they don't click until right near the bottom, and I move so fast down the stairs now, that it's not even noticeable.
*I can walk up the three flights of stairs, and instead of puffing all the way, the only thing that happens is my thighs burn a bit from the exertion.
And that's not even touching on all of the other positives- clothes fitting better, face slimming down, not being able to eat as big portions as I used to etc etc.
The list has made me feel proud of myself, instead of ashamed. I'm heading in the right direction, after all, and it's about more than wearing a different dress size- I want to be healthy too, and slowly, but surely, I'm getting there, even if I do plateau here and there!
I just wanted to share this with everyone, because I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way!