I was just wondering if anyone ever made a comment in your direction that really stuck with you to make you determined to make yourself healthier?

I am trying to look and feel better for me, and only me, but sometimes it's easy to let others motivate you out of a rut by not even really trying.

Example I am speaking of: my future mother-in-law (size 5, btw) was in town this past weekend and i was showing her a picture of the wedding dress I want to buy - just jokingly i said to her that it made me look skinny and we both laughed at what i said. then she made the comment "Oh, you're not that bad..." - and I don't know why, but I have been playing that over in my mind ever since. It's like I feel like I have something to prove to her or anything. The funny thing is that I don't see what she said as something bad - I have been using it as a "tool" to help me whenever I want to hit the vending machine this week, etc...i hadn't been doing well on my diet and am wondering if this is something that will help in the long run.

Does this sound weird??

Thanks!

Emily

Emily, I'm sure your future MIL did not mean to sound like anything but encouraging...she probably just popped out with the first thing she could think of. I have a cousin who made a comment just the other day about her weight and I just told her that she looked fine and changed the subject...she's trying WW's and I just try to encourage her.

Sometimes the same comment will affect me in different ways just based on what kind of day I'm having. I think it's great that you are looking positively on your MIL's comment. One great thing about 3FC is being able to say just what you want and knowing that there are others out there that have been through what you're going through.

Something I just hate to hear is, "Boy, you've REALLy lost a LOT of weight!" I always take that as a back-handed compliment....I do not like it. I would prefer that the only thing said would be on the order of you look nice. I actually would prefer nothing be said except from those that I feel very close to or have confided in. I'm very private...that's just me.

One time my FIL said I was "pleasantly plump." I won't tell you what I thought about that.

You are doing great...just stay on the course and take each day one meal at a time.

Emily,

I know exactly what you mean. At times people would make comments that were either positive or negative.. and it would be that comment that would motivate me to prove them wrong or show them.. etc. I think that we should use whatever we can to motivate us.. because losing weight is a very very hard battle.

Keep up the good work!

I sure remember a lot of nasty remarks I've received my whole life about my weight, but the ones that stick to me are those made by people who are close to me. It's not like they mean anything bad by those remarks but still I get a little offended and even angry. For example, when I lost quite a lot of weight last winter and I tried on my shorts which are now very loose and big on me, my mother (who I love and who has lost a lot of weight herself) smiled and said to me " you know, those shorts were getting rather small for you". She didn't want to offend me, but somehow I felt like she critisiced the "fatter me" and that when I weighed more I wasn't good enough for her. This feeling only emphasizes because there are other similar things she has said about the "fatter me".. I don't know, I quess I could use those remarks as motivators..
But Emily you're doing great! If something motivates you especially, hold onto it!!

In my senior year of highshcool (1998) I had a group presentation and our group was doing it on Gap, Inc. (Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy). We had brought in samples of our own clothings to show the difference of quality from each store and I held up a pair of my Old Navy jeans and said "This is a pair of women's jeans from Old Navy." This one guy in the class said "Those aren't women's jeans! I can fit into those." I almost started crying but held it in. That was when I knew I had to do something about my weight.

Unlike a lot of you, I actually like when people say "wow, you've lost a lot of weight." It's like reinforcement for me. I know I look good and I'm glad people see the difference and recognize my accomplishment. Its not like it was a secret that I was overweight before because it was kind of obvious. And that is the biggest most noticeable change so it doesn't bother me. However, I can understand why some would take it as offensive.

What a jerk that guy was!! He probably didn't realize that those kinds of comments are offensive, but nonetheless it's not an excuse.
I do actually like it when people notice that I've lost weight. I know that I'm fat so I won't get offended when people say "my god, you've lost soooo much weight". Instead I am extremely proud of myself!

Mocha - I also love it when people say "wow you have lost weight" And I proudly tell them.. "Yes I have... around 40+ pounds". Its something I am very proud of.. and its not embarassing at all to me. But then again.. a lot of people never say anything to me even after I have lost the weight.. to me.. that hurts more.

Somethng that stuck for me wasn't words, but a picture. I knew I had gained weight after my forth child, but didn't realize what I looked like. (I thought I'd carried the weight rather well) But I saw a picture of me at a staff picnic and I was seated next to a rather large woman---and I was as big as her! This was my reality check! Picutes don't lie...I have lost 45 pounds and have 8 to go to goal! Can't wait for the next staff picnic....

Okay I love magazines especially cheap ones. Here is a shameless plug before I get to my point about comments. Check out http://magazinevalues.com ! You can get a year subscription to magazines like Self, Shape, Allure, Jane, etc. for like $2.99 - $4.99 and yes, that price is for the whole year subscription!! No gimmicks...well one slight one. you have to become a member, but that only gives them the right to send you 1 email a week for soliciting. I get enough spam anyways so it's not a bother for me to have to delete one more. Some of the magazines are more expensive but they are still cheaper then most subscriptions.

So now that I've told you about some cheap magazines I guess I'll get to my point. In an Allure article about what is the proper etiquette they said (this is not a direct quote) that if someone has lost a lot of weight the proper comment should be "you look terrific" and if you are the person receiving the comment you should just give a simple "thank you." I thought that was a great line because if anyone say's "you look terrific" they are not saying you looked bad in the past or you have changed it is just a comment on how you look in the present.

Okay that was my little tidbit for today

Oh yeah and one more thing about http://magazinevalues.com You can send magazine subscriptions as gifts and the person receiving it will never know how much you paid for it. It is a pretty good X-MAS or B-day gift.

My point exactly....less is more!!!

Quick question.. how many of these "fitness" magazines are just really good truthful sources? I am worried about polluting my mind with stuff that they got paid to write or stuff thats a fad, etc.

Ok.. just thought I would share. Someone I know commented on if I had lost weight today.. and I said I had. He said that he should lose a few pounds, but then said "Really there is a six pack under this (as he grabs his stomach".

Men are so different.

That's right! When I talk about my weightloss with my girlfriends they automatically say to me that they should lose weight too.. And most of them are as thin as they could possibly be.. At first I always said to them that they don't need to lose weight, but nowadays I say that if they really think they should lose weight, then they should just do it and stop whining.. Sigh..