I am so upset. I am hurt, angry and besides myself.
My now 'ex-boyfriend' and I broke up today. It would have been three months that we would have been together on the 9th. We had our share of ups and downs but we somehow knew that we loved each other and that was the glue that kept us together, until today.
Today he called me to borrow money again because his car broke down. I had enough but I gave in and lent him the money making this over $350 that I had loaned him. He says he will return the $52 for the car this week and the $300 later in a month or two. I believe him, he is an honest individual and I told him I would sue him if I didn't get the money back and I mean it! There are some excellent lawyers in my family and I will use that to my advantage if I have to.
I am very sad that things ended the way they did, shortly after him hanging up the phone on me after I agreed to loan him the $52. In the past week, he has given me an ultimatum saying if I didn't go to my group therapy, he would break up with me. I have bipolar and he also has mental health issues and he was not getting much treatment for them which I believe severely affected our relationship. Then he said I was a child or that I was acting like a child today when I voiced my anger, only to tell me later in an email instead of over the phone because he blocked my phone number that my anger scares him. He also called me 'high maintenance' and constantly questioned if I was ready for a relationship. I questioned the same thing about him because he constantly mentioned his ex-wife.
Too many conversations ended in my getting off the phone in tears. Too many angry outbursts happened with both of us, one of snapping at the other.
I am sad that it is over and I had a headache from crying today but I am glad that it is over too. I miss him but I don't love him anymore and I need to move on. I re-activated my OKCupid profile and want to find someone else. I am just so angry at him that he hung up the phone on me after my bailing him out with money again, that he blocked my phone number and that things ended this way! I wish we could have ended things more peacefully. I lost my virginity to him for Christ's sake!
I don't know what to do. I just needed to vent. My girlfriend said that she thinks he sounds controlling and I never saw it that way, but I think he is too now that she mentions it. I need to arrange to get my stuff back from him and then I never want to see him again even though as angry as I am, a part of me misses him.
Thanks for listening.