This is the first time I've ever written anywhere about weight problems.
I've been very much aware of the fact that I've gained weight, but somehow I just haven't realised how big of a problem it actually is for me until now.
In my head I'm still the skinny 21 year old I was 5 years ago, but then I look in the mirror and see someone who is about 69lbs bigger than that girl and it makes no sense to me.
My "fat jeans" that are a size UK 14 are now very uncomfortable, but I absolutely refuse to buy a bigger pair.

I was always skinny growing up, until I moved abroad at 21, started going out a lot more, drinking A LOT more (I don't have a drinking problem), eating a lot of crap all the time and got an office job. I found myself having to up the clothing sizes over the next 5 years, not a fun thing to do. Now I've just moved back home, and I don't even want to leave the house because I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I suffer from a bad anxiety disorder with a side order of depression, not a great combo and doesn't make weight loss any easier.

I have a gym in the building I live in, that I've been telling myself for 2 months I am going to go down to "tomorrow", but most days I'm just happy if I can get out of bed at all.

The reason I'm on this page is to get inspiration, tips and support from all you other fat chicks who know what it feels like to battle weight loss, with or without anxiety, and having that skinny girl screaming to get back out from under the flab.

Welcome. A lot of us here certainly understand how disheartening it can be to find ourselves so overweight. Congrats on your first step... posting here... you can do it!

Dont buy them! Just relax and kick those pounds off! I know you can do it!

I also told myself i was not buying any more big girl clothes and I am still not going to buy any even though i am 198 now. I am still a big girl and besides big girl clothes cost too much for me and they never fit right on me.

Thank you both!

You're right, I will not go up another size, it's just not happening.
My diet is normally good, lots of veggies, chicken and fish, which I love, so at least that's one good thing. But of course I also love fatty foods and sweets, which will have to be limited to once a week at most, something I've failed lately.
The biggest problem for me is getting exercise done. When I go to the gym it feels great, I'm usually there for over 1h, cardio and strength training, feels great when I get home. I just have a problem getting a routine going and always fall back into the habit of not going for one reason or another.
If only it were as easy to lose weight as it was to gain it. I know I have it in me to do this, to lose the weight and feel good about myself, I just have to figure out a way to get going, find the start button.