Sears Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
Bar of Dial Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
Swann Frozen Dinners: Serving suggestions: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert: (Printed on the bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment)
Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)
Boot's Children's cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (One would hope.)
Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
String of Christmas Lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. ( As opposed to use in outer space.)
Food Processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious)
Sainsbury Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
American Airlines Packet of Nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
Swedish Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
Child's Superman Costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Makes you wonder doesn't it? I want a job getting paid big bucks for writing instructions.
