On March 20th 2011, if someone had told me I'd be sitting here 16 months later, at my original goal, I'd laugh and say "I'd be the happiest girl in the world".
So why aren't I happy with what I've accomplished?
I know I look great, everyone and their mother keeps telling me.
I've been told how proud they are of me, how I proved to everyone that it *CAN* be done.
I've lost 75lb. I never in my life thought I could do that, but I did. Now as I look in the mirror, I only see the flaws. I only see what I can change. And I rarely ever see what I've already changed.
I still see myself as the 220lb girl that had to cover up.
I still feel self conscious about wearing sleeveless shirts, or shorts, or skirts, or anything that shows some extra skin.
If you guys would only see how WHITE the rest of my body is compared to my arms and feet from being covered all these years LOL It's pretty funny.
I am changing my goal to 135 to see if I still feel this way at that weight, but I have a large frame, and my face is already starting to get really skinny (it's the first place I lose weight) and my collar bones and chest bones as well as ribs are prominent and pretty visible even through clothing.
I don't wanna look sick, and God Forbid people start thinking I have an ED again. I'm starting to lift weights to see if maybe toning will help my self esteem.
I guess what my rant is asking for is advice, how do you guys deal with your new image? How do you accept that this is the new you? How do you see yourself the way you are supposed to and not the way you used to be?
I love you guys so much, I have made such amazing friends on this journey and I will never ever forget this. I'm hoping the last 10 will come off easily and I know that with the motivation I get here it will. Thanks in advance for the advice xoxo