I'm finally beginning to have confidence that an indulgence or two need not herald the unravelling of my maintenance plan.

Last night my husband and I went out with another couple to an upscale Indian restaurant, followed by coffee/dessert at a gourmet dessert place. No leftovers or doggie bags for me. I probably did about 2,500 calories' worth of damage and figured I gained about a half a pound (plus temporary water retention, of course).

The nice thing is that I don't feel guilty at all, because the food was delicious and fine dining is the most satisfying kind of food indulgence for me. I started today with a run, and I plan to eat slightly below maintenance for the next few days, so hopefully the extra half-pound should be gone pretty soon.

At age 55, I'm finally learning to bounce back from indulgences. Not sure why it took me so long!

F.

High five on the bouncing back! Woo hoo! I can't always do it all the time, but I think I'm getting better.

Maybe someday I'll get to where you are.

I make myself go to dinner with friends whenever I'm invited. Yes, I must phrase it that way in this post: I **make myself** do it. My impulse is to cling to my safe routine, say "no" & stay home, but I know that's not a fully lived life, so the sane part of me gives me marching orders & sends me out into social occasions. At moments, when I'm eating the indulgent stuff, I feel somewhat unreal, as if I'm play-acting at being normal. But I do it. And here's what the greatest victory is -- given my own personal eating disordered history. I do not run to the gym immediately afterward and beat myself up on equipment for two hours to "work off" what I ate. I just go home afterward, like anyone else. But unlike others, I stay away from the kitchen, because once my switch to eat rich or unusual fare is turned "on," I am a vulnerable creature, prone to thinking, "Oh, since I ate that, I'm now off duty, and I can eat **anything I want.**" If I stay calm, and remain sane, I am okay. And each time I do this, it gets easier. Like last week, when I was a house guest, I ate things that I usually don't or limit strictly, and life went on, as it usually does, and I saw that no thunderbolt was going to fall from the sky. So my feigning normality is eventually going to pay off with actual normal behavior ... I think ... in time.

For me, what you did would represent a great advance in personal development. So I do appreciate it. And applaud you. ;-)

I'm the same, freelance. In fact, I regularly (i.e., at least once a week) go out to fine dining restaurants, and I never skip dessert when I go (i.e., if there's a dessert that appeals to me---and let's face it: there usually is!). I have bread and butter, order the entree I want, and have wine & dessert. The reason I can "get away" with this is that I exercise so much that I have plenty of calories, so even when I indulge, I just eat 1500-1600 calories for a couple of days, and that is normally enough to bring my weekly calorie total back into balance. Since November, my weight has fluctuated no more than four pounds, and it is usually in the two-pound range.

So, yes, I completely agree that indulgences taste best when they're not accompanied by guilt!

This is very interesting. I do go out to eat and I eat indulgent food now and then (even delivery pizza!) but I find I simply cannot eat the portions I once did. I don't think I could eat a 2500 calorie meal anymore without feeling severe discomfort. I'm curious how you felt afterward?

Sometimes, I'll go out for Mexican food and say to myself "Alright, if you want to, you can eat the whole plate." But I still never do. I get halfway through my huge plate of enchiladas and feel too full, need to take the rest home.

I felt fine. A bit of a full sensation in my stomach, but nothing approaching discomfort. I've always had an iron stomach, and apparently this hasn't changed. Throughout this latest weight loss & maintenance process I've occasionally indulged in 3,000+ calorie restaurant meals and was none the worse for wear. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing!

F.

I'm there too, and it is great. Come to think about it, "feeling guilty" over food is just so mind-baffling anyway—I mean, it's FOOD, not Satan's spawn, right? And I find it really unnerving, the way society constantly forces us all into a mold in which food = bad.

When I have dinner at a restaurant, I eat a lighter breakfast the next day (which isn't hard, considering that if I eat a lot the previous evening, I'm not so hungry anyway 8 hours later), and 'compensate' over a couple of days. I almost always skip dessert, but that's mainly because it's just so expensive (in some restaurants, 1 dessert = the price of 1 mor fulfilling dish, and it's not worth it in my book).

But I agree it's not so easy to get to that point.

I too will go out for a restaurant meal that is indulgent from time to time and not feel much guilt. But Saef's statement is soo true: "unlike others, I stay away from the kitchen [after getting home], because once my switch to eat rich or unusual fare is turned "on," I am a vulnerable creature, prone to thinking, "Oh, since I ate that, I'm now off duty, and I can eat **anything I want.**" And although I can show restraint and moderation during the restaurant meal and not eat past the point of comfortable satiety, that never seems to be true if I let myself in the kitchen once I get home; I will eat until my stomach hurts, since no one's looking. This makes the restaurant meal have a double consequence. I then feel major guilt which is all about the binge afterward, not the meal itself.

Good on you, having a sanely indulgent meal and simply enjoying it for itself.

What an excellent post! I am getting to that point too, where I can go out and have some indulgent meals and then get right back on track, sans guilt. Even on the tail end of my honeymoon (where I am currently sitting) I see the few extra pounds on the scale and think; "Well, I know I can lose that easy peasy in a week or two, and it was totally worth it!" The dinners I had during my Honeymoon last week were some of the best ones I've had, and that's saying something!

I'm not 100% guilt free all the time, but it's a huge improvement.

I am getting here, too. Trying to apply common sense and live by it. TOM is coming in a week and I want to eat everything in sight - Friday I had a small dinner and a BIG shake/sundae, and yesterday we went to a nice restaurant for a friend's going away party and everything was paid for by his rich i-banker brother, so of course I was going to eat it. Today I wasn't really hungry until 5 PM and had a cobb salad for dinner.

I find that if I truly overeat, I am not as hungry the next day. I can tell the difference between "too many carbs, I feel empty" and actual hunger for food pretty well these days, and try to eat accordingly.

It also helps to think of all the times where I went on vacation and ate 50,000,000 calories of everything in sight and lost 8-10 lbs of water weight in a week. Someone out there is looking out there for me.