This morning I weighed 161 pounds. Last Monday morning I weighed 147. I have not had a period in 80 days, I have eaten non-stop for the last week, and I feel like one of the biggest hypocrites to ever live. I feel worthless, anxious, helpless, hopeless, and miserable. I have to leave for work in about an hour and my pants are so tight I can hardly breath. I can feel a major panic attack coming on and I don't know how to face the world right now. I just want to crawl back into my black hole and not come out.
I know that probably 5 pounds is water, colon sludge and all that crap, but the fact of the matter is, my body weighs 161 pounds this morning and I am back into the freaking overweight BMI and I feel like total $hit. I want to cry.
I know what I need to do, and I intend to do it, but I just felt the need to confess. People in real life will see it today, but I don't want to hide it from you all.
