So today (well, yesterday, it's almost 3am lol) was supposed to be a fun, "I don't give a crap" kind of day. I didn't count my calories today; I went out and drank and ate with my friends and I just didn't worry about it. It was a last hoorah before my graduation and I just wanted ONE day where I could actually give a last hoorah! I was feeling pretty good about myself this morning; I had taken a progress picture and when compared to my previous ones, it was a pretty big difference. My pants are starting to get pretty loose and I felt confident and great about my weight loss efforts, even after the binge at the restaurant!
All was well until my friends decided to go shopping at Old Navy after we ate. I decided to try on bathing suits and maybe some jeans, especially since I was curious about where I stood size-wise since my pants are getting so loose. I tried on the bathing suits, and the one XXL I tried on was way too big and frumpy looking; the one that was an XL stuffed me like a sausage. I tried on a size 18 pants, could pull them on without even undoing the zip/fly. I then tried on a 16 and couldn't even get them over my butt.
This CRUSHED me. I felt so crappy and ashamed of myself that I couldn't really enjoy the rest of my day. I wanted SO bad to be where I wanted to be at the end of this month, and I haven't gotten there and I feel like a failure. I have to join another gym because the month-trial I had with the one in my school town expired now, and since I'm moving back home I'm not gonna be able to use it at home and I have absolutely NO resources for workouts when I get home. I just feel like its gonna be really hard to meet my goals once I get home; I havent met the goal I set for myself this month, and I am depressed.
I don't know what to do about my clothes; I'm in that awkward stage where my pants are way too big for my liking but I can't fit into the next size down. I always feel like I look like a frumpy bum because none of my clothes fit right.
I just hate the way this is going right now. I feel so bad about myself and ashamed that I didn't work hard enough to get to where I wanted to be by this time. Bleh, sory about the long post, I just had to vent and I need some support and advice to help me get back in the right mindset.


We're all here for you 
