Even though it's early, I'm posting! I am procrastinating some work I have to do....
Who is here this month?
I am, said a little dejectedly.
How are you?
Annoyed. Frustrated. Scared. Mad. Annoyed. Frustrated. Scared. Super-mad. Feeling even a little hopeless.
Yet, maybe even feeling a little hopeful?
How was last month?
Good and bad. March was a hard month because of the recent news that I received from my doctor (although the follow up appointment is next week) and mostly because I feel like I wasted three months of my life and gained a few pounds in the process and set back my blood sugar management.
Sure, I took my supplements, exercised, and ate all the wrong things...
How is your PCOS management last month?
PCOS for me is linked to the blood sugar stuff, so I guess it was NOT managed well.
What are you going to work on in April?
I'm going back to basics.
I'm angry and frustrated at the nutritionist (I have to still call her and fire her) and I am angry and frustrated at myself for not listening to my body.
No, it isn't working if I'm gaining weight.
THAT has to be something I need to really listen to rather than to someone who has a degree in nutrition.
The red flags were there. I just didn't listen to the alarm bells. I didn't want to listen to them because I thought that someone who was educated in nutrition and who claimed to have worked with people who did a lot exercising and PCOS/diabetes, actually did.
I'm really frustrated that I didn't listen to myself. At the end the day, I'm the one that's inside THIS body. This is MY body. I feel it every day. I work with it every day. It carries me around and when it hurts, I feel it. When something is off, I can sense it. Sure, I may not have a medical degree in my education, but I know my body better than my doctors. They just know how to label what I'm feeling.
And this nutritionist? Damn her. Sure, she was better than another one I had in the past. But my conclusion right now about the whole nutritionist field is that unless you're starting off eating the standard American diet, they can't help you. Chances are, you know more about food and nutrition for YOUR body better than they ever will.
Talk about a lesson learned...
My blood sugars today are out of control and I've been eating low-carb. The damage that I've done in the last three months can be reversed, but it won't be overnight.
My weight this morning was at 164.0. It's a good start. I'm going to start posting my weight on a weekly basis just for accountability.
I may even start my own thread about my diet and weight just to stay on track.
I think what scares me is that when I started this, I changed my way of eating. I sensed in February that something was off (about one month into the new food plan) and asked my doctor for a glucometer to verify what I was doing. I tested just a couple of times, because my own doctor, having seen my progress in the last two years, never suspected that I could be off. She thought I was crazy to be asking for it and worried my insurance wouldn't pay for it.
Those few times nothing was out of normal. I started noticing an issue when my fasting blood sugar kept creeping up. That wasn't normal.
Now, two hours after having lunch, my blood sugar was up at 137 and I had STEAK for lunch. That steak should have balanced my blood sugar down. It should not have been that high.
(Normal range after 2 hours of eating should be between 80 - 120, at least under 120.)
I haven't seen my blood sugar down in the 80s in FOREVER.
Anyway, my update for April is that I am going back to my plan. Whole foods, low carb, lots of homecooked meals to carry me through, and of course, testing with the glucometer to make sure that I'm improving as time goes on.
Of course, I'll keep up with the exercising, which I always do...
And when I travel, I just have to be more careful with what I eat than I have in the past. I can't "treat" myself right now. I need to get the weight off and normalize my insulin resistance.
This sucks.