Finally I did it.
I started this journey on October 17, so yesterday it was three months.
I managed to stay on track at Christmas time in spite of my holiday in the States (a lot of chicken and salad and fruit, no desserts, no fried food, no big breakfasts); I managed to stay on track at parties at work… But I knew it would happen sooner or later.
After exactly three months I rationally decided to binge; indeed I organized it in details.
I bought all the food I wanted: salami, cheese, bread; and then croissants and biscuits and chocolate.
I knew I would have stomachache soon after, I knew I wouldn’t sleep well.
And I couldn’t care less: I just wanted to eat as if there’s no tomorrow. I wanted to eat the food I hadn’t eaten for three months.
Did I feel guilty after that? Nope
Did I feel stupid for having chosen to feel sick? Nope
Did I feel happier? No, but I didn’t feel depressed either.
I just felt … full.
I know it might sound silly, but it was as if I was controlling something which is usually uncontrollable, if you understand what I mean.
Am I going out of my mind?

Not out of your mind, no... Maybe your body needed it, who knows. Go back on the wagon and don't give it much thought. Three months is a lot of time and effort, and one binge will not ruin it. Good luck!

allow yourself to eat all foods in moderation. and binge happens from time to time as everybody need to be discharged from the strict rules of the diet plan. It's mostly emotional issue for me. But it doesn't mean the step back in the way.