I've been struggling with my weight most of my adult life. I've tried so many things, but never have been able to get to my goal weight (not even close). I used to say I have diet ADD, but I don't know what it is. I think I'm afraid to fail. To the point where I am finding it hard to even start something now...even just small steps towards being healthier.

I feel like there is a total mental block that I've never felt there before. I need some advice on how to get started...I've never felt such resistance from my brain...but yet I hate what I have become...I am ashamed how heavy I've let myself become and I can still picture myself thin, but it's getting blurrier.

Any advice would be great!

This probably isn't going to help but you seem to be feeling down so worth a shot - I read this quote on here (not sure who said it) and I find it helpful personally-
"If you don't quit, you can't fail."
What have you really got to lose by trying?