we were walking in the mall a couple days ago and went into Old Navy.
I hadn't been there in a long time.
While we were walking, I saw a pair of 18's hanging on the rack. I remember having to squeeze into a pair of 18's and being proud when I finally got into 16's at Old Navy. It's so weird to look at them now, since now my "fat pants" are a pair of 10's from express, and I am trying to get into 8's comfortably.
For me, my size is my size and no matter what weight i'm at, I always feel big. Its strange to see how big I was hanging on the rack and to not feel very different about the way i look. Like, I know i'm smaller by the sizes I wear and the number on the scale and how much easier it is to move and how less tired I get, but when i walk in a crowd i still feel larger and unattractive.
For me, its okay to still feel like that now because it's part of my motivation to keep losing. However, I hope that at goal I will face this demon of self-image.




