Destroyers

  • I swear, my mother-in-law wants me to cheat on my "diet". I am doing so well and have lost roughly 55 pounds since 25 APRIL 2011. She keeps telling me, "You have to cheat every now and again because if you don't you will only be setting yourself up for failure." She lives in Florida (I live in Maryland) so she doesnt really see how I eat. I allow myself chocolate, fruit, etc. (I do a whole foods plan but allow myself 4 Hershey Kisses a day )

    I keep telling her that I dont feel the need to cheat. She keeps pushing and even posts these things on facebook.

    I got fed up and asked her how HER diet was going... (She does Atkins).

    Her response... "It is going great, I still eat bread and only have 2 tsp sugar in my coffee in the morning."

    I asked her if the scale was moving and she said she hasnt weighed herself. I kept my mouth shut and didnt offer unsolicited advice.

    I just dont understand why she feels the need to coax me to cheat on my diet just because she doesnt follow hers...
  • I had to stop talking about dieting of ALL forms with my mother AND mother-in-law.

    You should probably stop too. If she talks about it, find a new subject. Then, simply surprise her when you see her again, looking healthy and happy.
  • When I was losing, I was fairly obsessed with weight loss. It was odd to me that people didn't want to talk about it or think about it all the time like I did. It was my favorite topic of conversation. So I brought it up all the time...in retrospect, I was probably SO annoying with it!

    Often times when I brought it up, people would react like your mother in law and try to get me to stray. Others felt uncomfortable (because they probably weren't having any luck with their dieting at the time...I've been there too). A few people were as thrilled to talk with it as I was. Most people just didn't care.

    It really irked me at the time, because I thought dieting and weight loss was the most exciting thing ever and thought everyone should talk about it, but I had to learn to keep those things fairly private. People didn't need to know about my diet plan or my weight loss or what I chose to eat and chose not to eat. At restaurants, I quit reciting the calorie counts of various meals and just quietly ordered my meal as if I was ordering it because that's what I wanted, not because I spent 30 minutes online checking menus and nutrition lists and picked the very best one. People didn't need to know. When I stopped bringing it up, so did other people. What I ate was just what I ate, it didn't need to be commented on or critiqued. I don't go around to random people commenting on the food they eat or don't eat because they haven't brought it up to me.

    But, some people will just know you're dieting. And they'll be jerks and throw you curveballs. And that's life. Just be content with dodging anything they throw at you and know that they're doing it out of insecurity. Imagine their bums getting jigglier with every treat they eat because "cheating is necessary."
  • Refrain from talking about it with her. This is the best solution I've found. Some people just can't handle others' successes.

    I don't talk about my weight loss unless someone else brings it up and asks me questions—which happens quite often at this point. I really don't want any of my friends to feel bad so I tend to shut my mouth otherwise.
  • Thats right, when my husband and I go to gym, i weigh myself. But do not tell him my weight even if I am happy about my weightloss. I feel it is good to keep your little cecret with you. When he asks me about it I tell him in matter of factly, very casually and then change the topic.
  • Don't worry, it's not just you. This place could easily host an entire subforum on saboteurs, and I bet that at least half of the posts are about mothers or mothers-in-law. I'm not actually in touch with my mother any more, but I'd stopped talking to her about weight long before that. She had a charming habit of ringing me up to tell me about the various diseases she thought I was about to drop dead from (I wasn't) because I was so grossly fat, according to her.
  • Why? Probably to not feel so guilty about her own cheating on Atkins. It's probably even subconscious.

    My father-in-law is a lot like that. My parents and my MIL are actually very supportive. My FIL, however, lost a ton of weight himself then pouted when "people stopped commenting on how great" he looked. I heard those exact words out of his mouth. He gained it all back with interest. And now that I'm losing weight he's always trying to sabotage me. My weakness is beer, he'll buy my favorite beer and try to make me feel guilty for not drinking it.

    My SIL is also really bad about my diet. Snide comments all the time about how my body is perfect the way it is and I should just sit on my @$$ and eat what I want. She's quite a bit bigger than me, so I think she does it so she won't be the only 'fat' sister-in-law. Our husbands are brothers.

    I've come to the point where I don't talk about it anymore. I eat what I can at family functions and don't talk about my soooper cool new heart rate monitor watch, or how much I worked out in the last week. Instead of support I'll get rude looks. Not worth it!
  • Just this weekend my mom said something about "Studies prove even diet sodas are very harmful to your diet! Most people GAIN weight by drinking diet sodas!!! You're not still drinking diet sodas are you? Cause if you are, then you won't lose any weight!!"



    Yeah, I drink one or sometimes 2 Diet Mtn Dews per day. I told her "I'VE LOST 33 POUNDS SO FAR, SO APPARENTLY I'M DOING WHAT WORKS FOR ME." Usually, stating MY FACTS are enough to hush her rightthehellup.
  • Quote: Just this weekend my mom said something about "Studies prove even diet sodas are very harmful to your diet! Most people GAIN weight by drinking diet sodas!!! You're not still drinking diet sodas are you? Cause if you are, then you won't lose any weight!!"



    Yeah, I drink one or sometimes 2 Diet Mtn Dews per day. I told her "I'VE LOST 33 POUNDS SO FAR, SO APPARENTLY I'M DOING WHAT WORKS FOR ME." Usually, stating MY FACTS are enough to hush her rightthehellup.
    LOL BEACH! I have a diet Pepsi with my dinner most nights and get this very same comment from my mom a couple times a week. I just give her the dumb deer stare lmao.