Quote:
Originally Posted by wtfudge
3. I like to shop!!! But I have a rule. I can't buy anything for me unless I deserve it. This rule does not appear to be working very well because, as with eating, I will deprive myself for a few weeks and then binge!! And then overdraft fee from Chase.
I used to do this, but not just for shopping, but for almost everything pleasureable in my life - and boy did that backfire, because I ended up having no life at all because "I didn't deserve it."
I had to learn to do almost the opposite.
1. Decide that losing weight and getting fitter was about pampering my wonderful self, not punishing a "bad" me. I always envied folks who could afford going to weight loss spas and fitness retreats, and could shop in gourment health food stores, and could hire personal trainers, personal chefs, and personal shoppers.
I decided to bring those services to me, by being all those things to myself. I decided to make getting healthier as fun as I could make it.
2 In the beginning, because I had such a history of failure with weight loss, I even took weight loss off the table entirely. I decided that my main goal wasn't to lose any weight at all - it was to make healthy changes that I could commit to even if no weight loss whatsoever resulted.
3. I decided that while I was making those healthy changes I would work at maintaining my current weight and any weight loss I did happen to achieve along the way. Weight maintenance was always priority #1 and weight loss was secondary, and I had to remind myself of that a lot.
4. While I was working at maintenance (and celebrating every day that the scake didn't show a gain) I might as well try to lose "just one more" and then when I did, that pound also was included in the "maintenance". It meant that only backtracking was disappointing, and even then maintenance took precedent over bingeing. Often when only weight loss is celebrated, a stall can seem just as horrible as a gain - and if a gain doesn't feel worse than a stall, then when you do see a stall it's very tempting to think "if I'm not losing, I might as well be gaining, and getting to eat what I want." When maintenance is goal #1, it's a lot harder to feel that a gain is no different than a non-loss, because non-losses are celebrated too (because they're not gains).
5. The scale is not my enemy (nor is it my friend). It's just a tool, and only I can determine how best to use it. For me, that initially meant weighing a bazillion times a day to take the "sting" out of fluctuations. I weight a bazillion times a day to learn to understand the reasons and limits of those fluctuations.
This is counterintuitive because we're all told that weighing more than once a week is counterproductive because we'll be discouraged by fluctuations. When I read studies that found that daily weighers lost more weight than weekly weighers, I started to rethink that logic, and decided that weighing a bazillion times a day didn't have to discourage me. I would only be discouraged if my results didn't meet my expectations - and if I knew more about my fluctuations than I wasn't going to be as likely to expect the impossible or impractical. So I weighed before and after meals, before and after I went to the potty, before and after dressing, and recorded every morning weight on a calendar.
I learned how much food weighs, how much uh potty stuff weighs, how much my clothes weigh, how much I gain in water weight during my period or after an asian restaurant meal, and after increasing exercise .....
and most importantly I learned not to be discouraged by the feedback from the scale, because it didn't mean much in the long run. It was only the trend that was important, not any one measurement.
I also didn't have to avoid asian restaurant meals or stay off the scale during my period - I just had to recognize and expect the resulting fluctuations.
(In weight loss clubs in the past, and even here on 3FC I've encountered advice to give up asian food, give up exercise, and even advice to limit fiber-rich, low-calorie foods like low-calorie vegetables because of the temporary gains on the scale).