Why is it that I'm my own worst enemy? I've been doing really well lately. I've lost a lot of weight, I'm exercising, my energy level is way up, I'm dressing better and I like the way I look when I look in the mirror for the first time in a long time.

And then today I wore slouchy clothes because I was at a workshop all day. Someone had a camera and felt the need to take pictures and email them out to all of the participants. I look at the pictures and I HATE what I see. I think I look like a whale. My hair looks bad. My face looks bad. My body looks huge.

Why do I beat myself up?!? Better question I guess... does anyone like the way they look in random, unposed pictures?

I can't wait for the day I do. You've done an amazing job so far. Please be gentle with yourself and remember this is a process!

Probably not. I think a lot of people in this world have issues with self esteem, regardless of looks or weight. And I think an unposed picture, when we don't have time to prepare ourselves, shows us at our most vulnerable.

It sounds like you are working hard to make a lot of changes, though. Keep up the good work!

It's always been a mystery to me why i could look one way in the mirror and then have a picture taken 5 minutes later and look so completley different! lol

Don't let it discourage you you have done so well and the pictures will get better and better.

Seriously besides babies and children random candid photo shoots when you are in your baggy clothes are hardly ever flattering for anyone.

My sister is gorgeous at any weight and has a killer smile and sparkly eyes. I have seen some pretty unflattering pictures of her. It sucks to see crappy pics of yourself but they are not really capturing your true essence and how people actually see you.

I'm a photographer. Let me be the FIRST to tell you that candid pictures are rarely flattering. Especially because we're used to very posed, very technical, very PHOTOSHOPPED images to compare them to. Anything you see in the media is all of these things, so that's the running script you have in your brain for what a photograph is supposed to look like. And I promise you, as someone who works with clients of all shapes and sizes, the size 0 Barbie who you think looks amazing in that popped off candid will, no doubt, be obsessing over the fact that one of her eyes in bigger than the other when she smiles or the wrinkles on her neck from sun damage are showing.

And doesn't it figure that the day you dress down someone starts playing paparazzi with their digital weapon? Yeah - there's a murphy's law to photography that way.

Here's another thing - not only does light make a huge difference, the very act of photography is weirdly mythology based. When do we see a frozen image of ourselves? Only in a photograph. Life is about movement. The play of light and shadow across our skin and our bodies. Still images let you see things in the minute that no one notices normally. TRUST me.

You are doing an amazing job. Don't worry about some bad snap shots. Delete them from your mind. They have nothing to do with how beautiful you are and how successful you have already been on this journey!

-Kiki

Thank you. I know you are right. I know nothing about photography, so your explanation helped a lot.

Jess - my first reaction to your question was to just post a great big "NO" with no other comment! But I have to say the Kiki summed it up perfectly. You are doing a fantastic job. Just keep the MENTAL picture in view at all times. Don't get down on yourself over this.

Lin